[Copypasta] This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
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SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀
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I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
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I sexually Identify as

Spider-Dong

twitchquotes: ─=≡Σ/╲/( ͡ʘ ͜U ͡ʘ)/\╱\ ᕕ༼ ºل͟º༽ᕗ Help me, I'm being chased by Spider-Dong!! /╲/( ͡ʘ ͜U ͡ʘ)/\╱\ ᕕ༼ ºل͟º༽ᕗ
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Amaz
Text-to-Speech Playing