[Copypasta] This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Among Us teaches us to punish minorities

Among Us (coloquially termed "amogus") teaches us to punish the minority and hate those who are different and unique as "impostors." Instead, I like the breath of fresh air this problem provides as a new perspective on deduction that is not "red is sus, red vented, etc." that has been dominating the jokes of my peers and the view of my feed. Yet, by trying to force this problem to conform to "amogus," you yourself are trying to crush originality and uniqueness. Among Us is a game ultimately convincing us to conform to menial labor as "tasks" and accept the deal of being just like the rest of the crewmates.
October 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST

twitchquotes: Listen up you fucking assholes, your precious Hearthstone would not EXIST if it weren't for MTG, the fucking king of card games. It was the first and the best. Literally everything you love would not be here if Richard Garfield didn't create MTG in 1993. Pokemon, Yugioh, Hearthstone ALL WOULD NOT EXIST. So THINK TWICE next time you call this is a Hearthstone copy...
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

ANELE

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣻⣯⣽⣷⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠊⠻⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⠤⠠⠃⠄⠄⠙⠋⠁⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢴⠄⠄⢸⣧⣬⣤⣽⡆⣰⣦⢀⣳⣀⣁⣾⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠄⠄⢈⣛⣛⣛⣫⡴⣿⣿⢀⣝⣛⠛⢛⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣚⠿⠿⢇⣿⣿⣿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠹⣿⠟⠛⣿⢿⣿⡌⠛⢻⡫⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠄⠲⣦⣤⣤⡶⢀⡘⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠈⣦⣬⣭⣭⡤⠂⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠙⠛⠃⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2018

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing