[Copypasta] This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I LOVE Twitch chat. This chat is pure, adulterated, 100% intelligence. Everybody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that are really good. THIS is why I'm turning off the professional gameplay and will just watch the chat. And I swear to god, if any of you don't copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
December 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hearthstone is unfair!

twitchquotes: SwiftRage :loudspeaker: HEARTHSTONE IS UNFAIR! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: FACE WARRIOR IS IN THERE! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: PATCHES IN HIS POSSESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker: PLO TTING HIS AGGRESSION! SwiftRage :loudspeaker:
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

HeyGuys

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣹⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢽⠟⠁⠰⠿⠻⢾⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⡌⠱⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⠊⠀⣤⡀⣼⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡇⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠉⠉⠁⠝⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⠀⠃⠀⠀⢰⢠⢢ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠈⠒⠒⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠈⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠆⠸ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡆ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠃⠃⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀
ascii art
September 2020

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021

Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing