[Copypasta] LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED

twitchquotes: LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself LE SWARM HAS ARRIVED bUrself BZZZ BZZZ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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xqcSad

⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⢁⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⠿⢿⡟⠃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢉⠉⣉⠙⠛⠛⠛⣁⡄⠀⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣝⣧⣴⣶⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
June 2021
xQcOW

I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC

twitchquotes: (sponsored message) WOW! I love the way this game looks. The graphics are great and the framerate is perfect! I'm honestly considering uninstalling PUBG on PC and just moving over to mobile because this seems like the far superior product. Thank you Kripp for showing me this amazing new game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

SpongeBob is asexual (spoilers)

SpongeBob is asexual No this isn’t some lgbtq+ stuff He’s a fucking sea sponge They reproduce asexually
June 2021

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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