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I hate when people quote songs in their spam... it reminds me of Somebody I Used to Know
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More Copypastas
Too salty for table salt
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Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
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Kripp
Kripp subscribes to life
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Ｉ ｕｎｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｆｒｏｍ ｌｉｆｅ ｔｏ ｗａｔｃｈ Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ， ｄｅｖｏｔｅｄ ａｎｄ ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｅｄ ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ｈｉｍ， ｈｉｓ ｃｈａｎｎｅｌ； ｈｏｗ ａｍ Ｉ ｒｅｐａｉｄ？ Ｋｒｉｐｐ ｂｅｔｒａｙｓ ｍｅ， ｓｕｂｓｃｒｉｂｉｎｇ ｈｉｍｓｅｌｆ ｔｏ ＬＩＦＥ！ i’ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｂｕｔ ＴＨＩＳ ＭＯＮＴＨ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅｎ’ｔ ｇｅｔｔｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｄｏｎｇｅｒｓ， ＵＮＳＵＢＢＥＤ．
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Kripp
A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game
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ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
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Kripp
But I believe Tyler1 can save the world
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Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
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Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub
Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.