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I hate when people quote songs in their spam... it reminds me of Somebody I Used to Know
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD
YOUโRE ๐ฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐๐๐๐จ๐ณ๐ต I ๐ KNOW ๐ญ YOU ๐ TOOK ๐ซ MY ๐ FORTNITE ๐ฎ CARD ๐๐ I ๐พ KNOW 
YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
Fortnite
Attention all Fortnite gamers, Trump needs you!
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Attention all fornite gamers. President Trump is in trouble and needs your help. Grab your pickaxes and get that quick build on. We need your Fortnite building skills to get that border wall up. Quick! find the nearest quad crasher and join Ninja in keeping those migrants out and America safe.
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Fortnite
Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Here's why:
Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.
Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.
Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.
And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.
Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?
Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:
"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."
And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.
Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia
Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isnโt belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole.
While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love!
Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too!
Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldnโt build communism due to being tied to stool. Peopleโs Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.
Hey guys Saltarian here
twitchquotes:
Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
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Kripp