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Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
May 2022

Why are people so against copypasta?

twitchquotes: I don't understand why people are so against copypasta and memes in twitch chat, what kind of "intellectual" conversation are you going to see with 10,000+ people all typing at once.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad

Give me a second guys, Dex says

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Dex says. "Gotta hit up the mailman" He turns down the volume on his bork, and immediately gives Kripp a swift kick down the stairs. As Kripp yelps loudly in pain, Dex overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this delivery!" as loudly as he can. Fey tries to calm him down, but Dex swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Dex wipes the blood off of his snout, sits back down at his ball, and resumes being a good doggy
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
November 2020

the best way to waste time

twitchquotes: imaqtpie's stream is undoubtedly the best way to waste time. Nothing of value happens here and you can study a real homeless man in preparation for when your life inevitably falls apart as a result
twitch chat
April 2018
imaqtpie
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. it's Chris from Overwolf. We're sorry to say we have to terminate your sponsor contract due to the fact that you consistently keep losing, even though you're using decks drafted through the HearthArena app. You are simply bringing us too much unneeded bad reputation, so we figure we'd just channel the funds we spend on you on a better player like Amaz. Sorry for this, and good luck in the future.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away 😂 👌 💯 🔥
twitch chat
June 2017

EU is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport

twitchquotes: EMEA “Earliest Movement to Every Airport” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the Valorant Masters, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport Any % and Airport Latam Any %
twitch chat
October 2021

EU vs NA

IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP

twitchquotes: SLEEP TEST 🛡️ IF YOU TOUCH THE ARMOR, GO TO SLEEP ⎝ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
August 2019

Hearthstone

I'm Tanner Jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend and does things to your wife in bed everyday. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

I used to be a real ad

Got my cans of spam for quarantine

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ Got my cans of spam for quarantine
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

A middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game

twitchquotes: Why does anyone watch this guys stream? Its just a middle aged man complaining about an online children's card game. Its not even interesting either? please.. dont copy and paste this. its serious..he has 20k + viewers almost constantly
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Unsponsered Art of Conquest stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsered’ Art of Conquest stream!”
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Navy Seals Copypasta in military alphabet

Whiskey hotel alpha tango tango hotel echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo delta india delta yankee oscar uniform juliett uniform sierra tango foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf sierra alpha yankee alpha bravo oscar uniform tango mike echo , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo bravo india tango charlie hotel ? i' lima lima hotel alpha victor echo yankee oscar uniform kilo november oscar whiskey i golf romeo alpha delta uniform alpha tango echo delta tango oscar papa oscar foxtrot mike yankee charlie lima alpha sierra sierra india november tango hotel echo n alpha victor yankee s echo alpha lima sierra , alpha november delta i' victor echo bravo echo echo november india november victor oscar lima victor echo delta india november november uniform mike echo romeo oscar uniform sierra sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango romeo alpha india delta sierra oscar november a lima dash q uniform alpha echo delta alpha , alpha november delta i hotel alpha victor echo oscar victor echo romeo three zero zero charlie oscar november foxtrot india romeo mike echo delta kilo india lima lima sierra. I alpha mike tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november golf oscar romeo india lima lima alpha whiskey alpha romeo foxtrot alpha romeo echo alpha november delta i' mike tango hotel echo tango oscar papa sierra november india papa echo romeo india november tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo us alpha romeo mike echo delta foxtrot oscar romeo charlie echo sierra. Y oscar uniform alpha romeo echo november oscar tango hotel india november golf tango oscar mike echo bravo uniform tango juliett uniform sierra tango alpha november oscar tango hotel echo romeo tango alpha romeo golf echo tango. I whiskey india lima lima whiskey india papa echo yankee oscar uniform tango hotel echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo oscar uniform tango whiskey india tango hotel papa romeo echo charlie india sierra india oscar november tango hotel echo lima india kilo echo sierra oscar foxtrot whiskey hotel india charlie hotel hotel alpha sierra november echo victor echo romeo bravo echo echo november sierra echo echo november bravo echo foxtrot oscar romeo echo oscar november tango hotel india sierra e alpha romeo tango hotel , mike alpha romeo kilo mike yankee foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf whiskey oscar romeo delta sierra. Y oscar uniform tango hotel india november kilo yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha november golf echo tango alpha whiskey alpha yankee whiskey india tango hotel sierra alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel alpha tango sierra hotel india tango tango oscar mike echo oscar victor echo romeo tango hotel echo i november tango echo romeo november echo tango ? t hotel india november kilo alpha golf alpha india november , foxtrot uniform charlie kilo echo romeo. A sierra whiskey echo sierra papa echo alpha kilo i alpha mike charlie oscar november tango alpha charlie tango india november golf mike yankee sierra echo charlie romeo echo tango november echo tango whiskey oscar romeo kilo oscar foxtrot sierra papa india echo sierra alpha charlie romeo oscar sierra sierra tango hotel echo usa alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform romeo ip india sierra bravo echo india november golf tango romeo alpha charlie echo delta romeo india golf hotel tango november oscar whiskey sierra oscar yankee oscar uniform bravo echo tango tango echo romeo papa romeo echo papa alpha romeo echo foxtrot oscar romeo tango hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike , mike alpha golf golf oscar tango. T hotel echo sierra tango oscar romeo mike tango hotel alpha tango whiskey india papa echo sierra oscar uniform tango tango hotel echo papa alpha tango hotel echo tango india charlie lima india tango tango lima echo tango hotel india november golf yankee oscar uniform charlie alpha lima lima yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india foxtrot echo. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta. I charlie alpha november bravo echo alpha november yankee whiskey hotel echo romeo echo , alpha november yankee tango india mike echo , alpha november delta i charlie alpha november kilo india lima lima yankee oscar uniform india november oscar victor echo romeo sierra echo victor echo november hotel uniform november delta romeo echo delta whiskey alpha yankee sierra , alpha november delta tango hotel alpha tango ' sierra juliett uniform sierra tango whiskey india tango hotel mike yankee bravo alpha romeo echo hotel alpha november delta sierra. N oscar tango oscar november lima yankee alpha mike i echo xray tango echo november sierra india victor echo lima yankee tango romeo alpha india november echo delta india november uniform november alpha romeo mike echo delta charlie oscar mike bravo alpha tango , bravo uniform tango i hotel alpha victor echo alpha charlie charlie echo sierra sierra tango oscar tango hotel echo echo november tango india romeo echo alpha romeo sierra echo november alpha lima oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo u november india tango echo delta s tango alpha tango echo sierra m alpha romeo india november echo c oscar romeo papa sierra alpha november delta i whiskey india lima lima uniform sierra echo india tango tango oscar india tango sierra foxtrot uniform lima lima echo xray tango echo november tango tango oscar whiskey india papa echo yankee oscar uniform romeo mike india sierra echo romeo alpha bravo lima echo alpha sierra sierra oscar foxtrot foxtrot tango hotel echo foxtrot alpha charlie echo oscar foxtrot tango hotel echo charlie oscar november tango india november echo november tango , yankee oscar uniform lima india tango tango lima echo sierra hotel india tango. I foxtrot oscar november lima yankee yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo kilo november oscar whiskey november whiskey hotel alpha tango uniform november hotel oscar lima yankee romeo echo tango romeo india bravo uniform tango india oscar november yankee oscar uniform romeo lima india tango tango lima echo " charlie lima echo victor echo romeo " charlie oscar mike mike echo november tango whiskey alpha sierra alpha bravo oscar uniform tango tango oscar bravo romeo india november golf delta oscar whiskey november uniform papa oscar november yankee oscar uniform , mike alpha yankee bravo echo yankee oscar uniform whiskey oscar uniform lima delta hotel alpha victor echo hotel echo lima delta yankee oscar uniform romeo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf tango oscar november golf uniform echo. B uniform tango yankee oscar uniform charlie oscar uniform lima delta november ' tango , yankee oscar uniform delta india delta november ' tango , alpha november delta november oscar whiskey yankee oscar uniform ' romeo echo papa alpha yankee india november golf tango hotel echo papa romeo india charlie echo , yankee oscar uniform golf oscar delta delta alpha mike november india delta india oscar tango. I whiskey india lima lima sierra hotel india tango foxtrot uniform romeo yankee alpha lima lima oscar victor echo romeo yankee oscar uniform alpha november delta yankee oscar uniform whiskey india lima lima delta romeo oscar whiskey november india november india tango. Y oscar uniform ' romeo echo foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india november golf delta echo alpha delta , kilo india delta delta oscar.
April 2021

Navy Seal

If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Both dudes

twitchquotes: (‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . ⎝ KappaPride
twitch chat
October 2018

KappaPride

You call yourself rich?

twitchquotes: You call yourself rich? Bro, I'm a Tier 3 subscriber to all the famous Twitch streamers, I don't use Notepad, I use Photoshop. I have all of the Adobe products and I wear Louis Vuitton on a daily basis. I donate $5000 to Pokimane every stream, talk to me again when you're rich.
twitch chat
November 2020

Simps

Just me and EA hanging out

twitchquotes: Just me and 💰💕EA💕💰, hanging out I wanted some Star Wars🌟 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💰💦looties!💦💰 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I earn them!💦 I buy them!💦 I purchase them whole💦💰 😍 It makes 💰💘EA💘💰 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder EA! Harder EA! 😫💦💕 1 lootie💦, 2 lootie💦💦, 3 lootie💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💰💘EA's💘💰 👑Disney princess 👑but I'm also a consumer whore! 💟 He makes me OP💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a whale should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑
twitch chat
November 2017

Hey! I noticed you are fucking retarded

July 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Trolling My Office With Among Us (Part 7)

After we threw Liam out the window, I decided to call another emergency meeting. “Chad sus!1!1!!1 He’s the SUSSY VERY IMPOSTER!” I said. They all asked why Chad was sus. I said it was because his name is Chad. They all agreed so we ejected him. I was naruto running around the office when Adam stopped me and said “Why are you running?” OH MY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY THE FUNNY UGANDAN MEME? SPIT ON HIM BROTHERS. I spit on Adam and I pulled down my pants and pissed on him. He ran away screaming and everybody looked at me. I pulled my pants up.“ Adam sus. He’s screaming.” Everyone nodded and we ejected Adam. My son came out of the elevator even though it was take your kid to work day and he was supposed to be on the bottom floor, not up here on the 3rd floor! So I said “Son, what the fuck nugget wholesome keanu reeves are you doing here?” He closed the elevator door and I think he went to the first floor. I tried pissing on the elevator door in hopes that it would malfunction it but I don’t think it worked. That stupid little bastard. So I got in the elevator when it came back up and went to the first floor. I looked around but couldn’t find him. I pulled one of the kids up by her shirt and said “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?” She was screaming and I threw her away. I stomped down the hallways trying to look for him but I couldn’t find him. “This is not a fortnite minecraft roblox 100 wholesome keanu reeves chungus Amogus moment. That’s pretty sus.” All the coworkers were looking at me in terror. I went out back and searched in the dumpster to see if I could yet again try to find a weapon to kill all the people there. I already got rid of Chad, Adam and Liam so everyone else could easily be disposed of.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Text-to-Speech Playing