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At least you lasted longer than NA at worlds
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Eeeyoo I had the most amazing sex with this girl last night. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at her out of embarrassment, she put her lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than NA at worlds" 
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢉⣀⣤⣤⣶⡆⢰⣶⡤⢤⣀⡉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠇⠀⠀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠠⣾⡿⠛⠁⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣩⣤⡄⢠⡆⢰⣤⣀⣠⣍⡙⠛⠋⠙⢿⣦⠈⠛⢿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢰⡏⢀⣴⣄⠘⠛⢁⣠⣎⣿⣿⠿⠛⠒⠃⠘⠛⠛⠏⢻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠃⣠⣦⡀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⠁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠏⢰⣿⣿⡿⢃⣀⠙⢿⠛⢉⣠⣴⣶⣿⡇⢸⣿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠈⢿⣿
⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⢠⣿⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⠃⢀⠘⢿⣿⠇⠛⠉⡁⢈⠉⠛⠻⣿⡿⠃⡀⠐⠀⡀⠀⠈⢻⣿⡄⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿
⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢀⣿⣿⠏⢠⣿⡿⠁⣰⣿⣦⠀⠁⢴⣾⣿⠇⠸⡿⠷⠆⠈⠀⠴⠁⠀⠀⢸⣄⡀⠸⣿⣿⡀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹
⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠁⣼⣿⡿⠀⣾⣿⡇⣰⡿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠆⢀⣿⣷⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍
⠀⢇⠀⠀⡐⠀⣿⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠃⣿⠃⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣾⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⠀⣿⠀⢂⠀⠀⡸⠀
⠀⠘⠄⠘⠀⢀⣿⠀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⡤⠀⠀⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠤⢀⣤⣤⡄⢠⣤⣤⠀⣿⡀⠀⠃⠠⠃⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⢿⣿⣧⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣈⠀⢳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡔⢸⣿⣿⠁⣸⣿⡿⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠡⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢹⡆⠈⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣧⠀⠁⢰⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣼⣿⡏⢀⣿⣿⠇⢰⡏⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠌
⠀⠁⢆⠀⡎⠀⠈⣿⡄⠠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢁⣴⣶⣮⡉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⣾⡟⠏⢠⣾⣷⠎⢠⣿⠁⠀⢱⠀⡰⠈⠀
⣆⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⢁⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠇⣠⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢈⠎⠀⠀⣰
⣿⡦⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠈⠷⡄⠻⢿⠿⢃⣀⠀⠴⣶⣶⣤⣌⣁⣀⡀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠃⣀⡘⠿⡿⠟⢠⡾⠁⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢴⣿
⣿⣷⡀⠑⠄⡀⠀⢃⠀⠀⢻⣦⡀⠀⠾⣿⣷⣦⡈⠙⠻⠿⣿⣏⡁⢸⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣾⣿⡷⠀⢀⣴⡟⠀⠀⡘⠀⢀⡠⠊⢀⣾⣿
⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠈⠑⠤⡀⠀⢀⠉⠻⣦⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣤⡀⢀⣠⣤⣴⣤⣴⣾⣿⠿⠛⢁⣴⠟⠉⡀⠀⢀⠤⠊⠁⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠈⠻⣿⣶⣤⡉⠙⠛⠿⠿⢿⡇⢸⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⢉⣤⣶⣿⠟⠁⠀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠉⠒⠒⠠⠤⠀⠄⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠠⠀⠤⠄⠒⠒⠈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡠⠤⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢈⡁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠤⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠁⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣾⠁⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠈⣷⣶⣦⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.
I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
You have been presented with superior intellect
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You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 
to activate————————————————————————
You have been presented with superior intellect. Type to activate————————————————————————
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█ █ ]▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ ............▂▄▅█████████▅▄▃▂ ...........███████████████████] ...........◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙◤FOR THE HORDE