I don’t know if you’re new here, so I’ll let you off the hook this time. Using emojis is frowned upon here on this great site, and for good reason. Instagram normies often use them, and you don’t want to be a normie, do you?
If I catch you using an emoji in the future, I’ll be forced to issue a downvote to your comment. Why should you care, you may ask? Well to begin, you will lose karma on your account, which is a useful social status tool and also a way to show others you know your way around Reddit.
If you were to continue the use of emojis, I would be forced to privately message you about your slip-up. Any further offenses past that would leave me no other option than to report your account. I don’t think I have to explain why you don’t want that.
But anyways, no harm done yet! Follow these simple rules and you’ll enjoy your future on Reddit! Have a blessed (and hopefully emoji-free) day, stranger.
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More Reddit Copypastas
We should buy Reddit
We should buy Reddit.
Not the stock. The actual company.
If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website.
We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make.
I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners:
Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization.
Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart"
NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW.
Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet.
Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern.
We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod.
Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's.
I think this is a great idea.
Keep it high and tight.
👖🚀👖🚀👖🚀
WallStreetBets
Greetings r/atheism
Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
I Am Very Smart
Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?
I don’t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. There’s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I can’t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like they’re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. I’m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that I’m not being weird for it. Please tell me there’s someone who feels the same thing
Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP
Mods, can you please confirm that this was an original photo taken by OP, otherwise this post should be removed as per subreddit policy. There is no further context provided here, how do we know that they didn't find this picture somewhere else? This directly affects our enjoyment of the post.
I Am Very Smart
I hate Reddit's new avatars
They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ