[Copypasta] We should buy Reddit

We should buy Reddit. Not the stock. The actual company. If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website. We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make. I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners: Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization. Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart" NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW. Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet. Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern. We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod. Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's. I think this is a great idea. Keep it high and tight. ๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿš€
December 2021

WallStreetBets

Reddit

I used to be a real ad
More Reddit Copypastas

Win any online argument by replying with this

Don't care + didn't ask + L + Ratio + soyjak + beta + cringe + stfu + cope + seethe + ok boomer + incel + virgin + Karen + ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก + you are not just a clown, you are the entire circus + ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ’… + nah this ain't it + do better + check your privilege + pronouns in bio + anime pfp + ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฎ + the cognitive dissonance is real with this one + small dick energy + ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ + lol copium + snowflake + ๐Ÿšฉ๐Ÿšฉ๐Ÿšฉ + those tears taste delicious + Lisa Simpson meme template saying that your opinion is wrong + ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿง๐Ÿคจ + wojak meme in which I'm the chad + average your opinion fan vs average my opinion enjoyer + random k-pop fancam + cry more + how's your wife's boyfriend doing + Cheetos breath + Intelligence 0 + r/whooooosh + r/downvotedtooblivion + blocked and reported + yo Momma so fat + I fucked your mom last night + what zero pussy does to a mf + Jesse what the fuck are you talking about + holy shit go touch some grass + cry about it + get triggered
November 2021

Reddit

Does anyone else feels attracted to female avatar profile pictures on reddit?

I donโ€™t know why but I kinda get a little turned on when I see them. Thereโ€™s something about their design that makes them really adorable and I always try to hold myself back from imagining things about them but I canโ€™t help it. They look so tiny and fluffy with a petite body and short height, cute little outfits, a rounded face, big eyes and pretty hair. Like theyโ€™re literally so unironically perfect I feel like reddit made them this way on purpose. I grew a habit of direct messaging anyone who have a nice woman avatar and chatting with them because I imagine the person using the account to look the same. Iโ€™m not even typing this out to sound like a weirdo i genuinely feel this way and I do hope that Iโ€™m not being weird for it. Please tell me thereโ€™s someone who feels the same thing
May 2022

Reddit

I don't geddit

Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'. Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.
August 2021

Reddit

Throwing you a dislike because

Throwing you a dislike ๐Ÿ‘Žbecause: โ˜: Your comment wasn't epic โœŒ: It was not funny ๐ŸคŒ: not cute or wholesome ๐Ÿ–: I'll edit in another reason later Better luck next time. I'd rather watch 5 Mr Bean movies than read that sh$t again...... To my followers: hope y'all liking my new way of roasting redditors. I'm enjoying your feedback and take it to heart I love improving the site and making people better humans because of my replies to them. Beace out โœŒ
October 2021

Reddit

I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)

I just nutted to your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to: โ€ข โ you being a femboy, โ€ข โ Spreading sti infections, โ€ข โ Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot ๐Ÿ˜ฉ Remember: Iโ€™m horny uwu
June 2021

Reddit

Text-to-Speech Playing