Cashier was at home until someone came to the door. He opened the door and a very cute girl selling girl scout cookies was there. "Do you want any cookies sir?", she asked him. Cashier asked, "is there any other way I could pay?"
THEY FUCK
What happened to this ad? :(
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Catch ya in the gym... not
twitchquotes:
moon2EZ sup nerds 
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
twitch chat
MOONMOON
The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease
The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
Listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans
twitchquotes:
Okay, listen up chat. I'm done with your shenanigans. I try day in and day out to spam dank ass memes, and what do I get in return? Just the same old, unoriginal spam from you parrots. Chat is filled with just lul xD and 12 year olds cringing. I'm done. I'm out. And I swear to god, don't even think about copying this message
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
Gay chicken
twitchquotes:
In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are both really stubborn, and neither one of us wanted to lose. We've been married 14 years and we run a bed and breakfast in Vermont with out adopted daughter. If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect that he's actually gay
twitch chat
Classic
KappaPride
My son, why did you tap last?
twitchquotes:
In Romanian village there is very little water. Papparian is thirsty and asks Kripparian to get some water for him from the water tap 2 miles away. Kripp decides to go to the store first. A few hours later Kripp brings Papparian his water, only to find Papparian has had a heat stroke. With his dying breath, Papparian asks "My son, why did you tap last?"
twitch chat
Kripp