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ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

twitchquotes: 🔊🔊🚨🚨WARNING🔊🚨🚨WARNING🚨🚨🔊THIS IS A 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸ALERT. INCOMING 🐸DANK 👽MEME🐸 👐👌HEADING STRAIGHT 🚀🚀YOUR WAY. 🔜👆👆👆PLEASE TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONS🚧🚧 NECESSARY TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THIS 🐸DANK 👽MEME❗❗ 🐸 🌋🌋🌋 .BUCKLE UP♿♿♿ THEM SEATBELTS👮👮,PUT THEM CELLPHONES ON SILENT📵📵 AND LOOSEN THAT ANUS👅👅🍑🍑🍑🍩🍩💩💩 CUZ THIS MEME JUST CAME STRAIGHT OUT OF THE 🚬🚬 🍁🏭🍁🏭🍁🚬🚬DANK FACTORY.

twitch chat

May 2016

Emoji Pasta

Classic

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good

August 2021

I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad

December 2020

Belle Delphine

Please God, I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins. Belle Delphine is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure even though it's behind that unnecessary gym clothes. I yearn for her in a way both Primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening sweat from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union. I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment. She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole. I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more. God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don't know what l'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it. My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be. I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing wouldn't say. I would beat my own friend to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Belle Delphine’s shining face. I wouldn't even let myself Cum until she gave me permission. I love you, Belle Delphine. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my Lover, my mommy, my everything. Say yes. Answer my calls, respond to my letters. Something. Give me a sign, Belle. I'm waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you.

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Okay I just had the weirdest thing happen to me on my day 2 of no fap, I was taking a shit and struggling to push it out and simultaneously I kid you not I randomly ejaculate as I push my shit out, I’m just sitting there dumbfounded as to why the fuck this happened, there was no pleasure to my shit, nothing strange I wasn’t fapping I swear to god I just randomly….. ejaculated while shitting. WHAT THE FUCK? Anyways mission failed life really hates me lmao

September 2021

Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant

twitchquotes: PogChamp

only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant RNCelephant

twitch chat

August 2016

Reynad

[Copypasta] Twitter doesn't like copypasta

ALERT INCOMING DANK MEME

Emoji Pasta

Classic

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad

Belle Delphine

Shit and cum at the same time (from /r/nofap)

Only the chosen can ride this beautiful elephant

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