[Copypasta] abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Duck with cap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⡥⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⡞⠁⠀⠀⠤⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠀⢻⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣁⣐⡒⠢⢤⡈⠛⢿⡄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠐⠄⡈⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢈⣿⡄⠀⢀⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣶⣶⣬⣭⣥⣴⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣧⠀⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⢻ ⡏⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢂⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠘⠛⠛⢉⣉⣠⣴⣾ ⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣛⣛⣉⠉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

My daughter was born with a hearing impairment

twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing