[Copypasta] Your only friend is Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan THAT MOMENT FeelsBadMan WHEN YOU REALIZE FeelsBadMan THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND FeelsBadMan IS TWITCH CHAT FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
March 2017
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More Copypastas

A man has fallen into the river in Lego City! (uwu version)

a man has fawwen into teh riwer in lego city! owo start the rescuwu hewicopter HEY nuzzles u Buiwd teh hewicopter and owoff to the resucuwu prepare the lifeline, lowoer the stwetcher and make teh resucuwu the newu emewgency cowwection fwom lego city!!!
December 2020

Lego City

Bumper Ameng burger

twitchquotes: Bumper stared at the burger in his hand. Normally, he loved chowing down on his Big Mac like he chowed on these beta tanks like Swon or Muma or Super. But not today. Today, this burger was a sign of his failure. The double patties of meat reminded him not of succulent juicy beef but only the mighty veiny vascular muscles of Ameng. The seeded bread buns? It was Ameng’s cheeks as he squatted on Bumper’s face. The tomato? It was his blood dripping off Ameng’s hammer. The mayo? You know what it is
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Albert Einstein and Arteezy's farm

twitchquotes: Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds to ever live, was once perplexed by the speed at which Arteezy was able to farm. Seemingly impossible GPMs of 800+ every game were consistently observed, leading to the hypothesis that this was no fluke. Einstein spent the last years of his life trying to prove the ability of Arteezy's farm existed within the laws of science. Critics laughed at his efforts, claiming that Arteezy's farm was an undeniable act of divine intervention. It wasn't until the end when Einstein found the answer. On his deathbed, Einstein spent the last seconds of his life jotting down what is now the world's most infamous scientific formula. r=tz²
twitch chat
November 2014
Arteezy

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

i cannot support a stoner kripp

twitchquotes: wow. i cannot support a stoner kripp. i have given thousands of my hard earned money to you but i cannot sit idly by and let you use your platform to promote the devil's lettuce.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing