twitchquotes:
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS TWITCH CHAT
THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR ONLY FRIEND IS TWITCH CHAT
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I used to be a real ad
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Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
Kangaroos vs Uruguayans
This does not change the fact that in Australia there are 48 million kangaroos and in Uruguay there are 3,457,380 inhabitants. So if the kangaroos decide to invade Uruguay, each Uruguayan will have to fight 14 kangaroos...
bruh moments
My gf gets mad when I call her cheating “bruh moments” and I’m not sure what to do
She hooked up with some guys and instead of breaking down and crying or whatever she wanted me to do I just played bruh bass boosted for five minutes while staring at her so she’s angry now but what should I do
Confessions
With this dust of a Dorito chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp!
twitchquotes:
(つ•̀ᴥ•́)つ*:･ﾟ✧ With this dust of a Dorito™ chip, I use this chant to summon Kripp! (つ•̀ᴥ•́)つ*:･ﾟ✧
twitch chat
Kripp
xqcF emote
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣆⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣦⣄⢀⡠⠤⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢻⣿⣿⣯⡤⠤⣤⣤⡤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣼⣿⣿⣋⡀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠂⠀⢹⣿⣿⠙⠸⡁⠀⡆⠈⡙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⡟⠸⠀⠀⠀⢠⣭⣉⡛⠻⠿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠃⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠆
⢻⣿⣿⣟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠯⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⡏⡌⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⠿⣿⣿⡿⠀
⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⡰⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣏⠁⠀⢼⣿⠃⠀
⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣧⣶⣿⡏⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣦⣌⣹⣿⣿⣿⠏⠉⠉⠈⠁⣾⠀⣷⣦⣤⣈⡉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠁⠀⠀
xQcOW