[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Daniel Craig Cock And Ball Torture

As Daniel Craig says goodbye to the role of James Bond, let us revisit one of the greatest films in the series. Casino Royale (2006) Daniel Craig receiving some intense cock and ball torture at the hands of Mads Mikkelsen has to be my favourite scene from any Bond film. Right next to the opening of Skyfall. How appropriate is it that a character who has been the face of masculinity for half a century, nearly gets emasculated by someone who possesses none of that virility. Le Chiffre (played by Mikkelsen) is in many ways the opposite of Bond. He lacks the vigour, sex appeal, and chivalry of 007. When a warlord threatens to cut off his girlfriendโ€™s arm, Le Chiffre, out of fear does not object, to which even the warlord comments that she should find a better boyfriend. He suffers from Asthma and Haemolacria (Acute Haemolacria tends to occur in fertile women because of hormones). He even comments during the c and b torture session that he desires to ruin the body that Bond has taken such good care of (There is a hint of jealousy in his voice as he says this). And yet, it is Bond who is strapped to the chair. The camera zooming in on his grimacing face at every strike to his manhood. This castration is also a symbolic one. The weakness and decline of the British empire is a key theme that is explored throughout the Craig Bond films. The idea that the CIA had to donate money to Bond so he could beat a man at a game of Poker, and yet still end up at the mercy of this traditionally impotent individual who is unaffiliated with any country, and has amassed all his power through his ability to control money โ€” paints a damning picture of the power of modern day Britain. And it says a lot about what power really means in our modern world. The opening theme by Chris Cornell is truly remarkable, and some of the action sequences here are the seriesโ€™ most memorable. For me, this is the greatest Bond film ever. As the man himself says goodbye to the role with the release of No Time To Die, it must be said that no one has embodied the character of James Bond and humanized him quite like Craig has. Nowhere is this more apparent than in Casino Royale. The ice-cold blue eyes that occasionally hint at soft vulnerability, will truly be missed. Daniel Craig can walk away with pride knowing he has been the greatest ever to play such an icon.
December 2021

ayo imma keep it real with you chiefs

twitchquotes: ayo imma keep it real with you chiefs. Dont be trash talking these players unless youre a high rank(gold and up) at least have some respect for the people that have put in the work and laid the ground work for the lower ranks.
twitch chat
July 2018

Overwatch

๐Ÿ‘ปBOO! Srry did I scare you?

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ‘ปBOO! Srry did I scare you???๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ it's October ๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐ŸŒ‘ you know what that means ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ SLUT-O-WEEN ๐Ÿ‘ฏ send this to 10 of your 10 sluttiest ghost bitches ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ if you get 5 back you're a slutty witch but if you get 10 ur the spookiest bitch on the block๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ‘ป
twitch chat
September 2017

Emoji Pasta

Last night I had a dream

twitchquotes: Last night I had a dream that whenever I typed something in Forsen's channel, everyone copied and pasted it, and then Forsen got really mad at me for starting spam. After that he banned me and I felt really bad for it, so my only option to apologize to him was to suck his sweadish meatballs. Sorry Forskin!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectorsโ„ข we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShieldโ„ข Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing