[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Black Lives Matter logo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣿⣄⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣮⣝⡻⢡⣿⣿⣿⡆⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⠹⢋⣾⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀ ⢰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠎⣛⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠨⣭⣘⡿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣵⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⢿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠇ ⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣾⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⠟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠟.
June 2020

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Le Toucan has arrived

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January 2015

Classic

Welcome to the $5 strip club

twitchquotes: So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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