[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion

twitchquotes: Kripparrian grabs Rania by the scruff of her delicate neck, thrusting her to the Hyper-X Ultra-White High-Def gaming chair. The Krippster's rightfully claimed woman presents her rose-hued folds to her master in submission. "Top deck me and #Shrek me, you Romanian stallion" Rania wails in passion. Kripparadino kicks Cattarrian aside, and towers over the chair, "I'm gonna play this perfectly." Kripp misses lethal.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Anime girl 4

⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⢸⣿⣿⣆⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣦⡀⠙⢶⣦⣄⡀⠄⡠⠞⠁⢀⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣎⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⢄⡙⠻⠿⠷⠶⠤⢐⣋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⢤⣤⣄⣠⡘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠂⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡇⢰⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡄⠄⠈⠄⣷⢠⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢹⣿⣼⣿⣯⢁⣤⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣴⠶⣲⣵⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣟⣡⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠰⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣷⣿⣿⡏⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣞⢸⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
December 2018

Weebs

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

One time my mother called me a son of a bitch...

twitchquotes: One time my mother called me a son of a bitch, so I hit her because no one talks trash about my mother, then I hit myself because no one hits my mother, she then hit me because no one hits her son and then hit herself because no one hits me, so I hit her because no one hits my mother. cant stop me
twitch chat
January 2016
Trump
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