[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: • ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight • ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor • ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) • ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns • ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man • ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" • ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos • ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) • ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed when he poos out eggs in front of mario??? sorry if this ofends anyone but i thought it was a funny thing haha. and i would like to know if any of you have any pics of yoshi pooping an egg while he looks nervous or embarrassed i just want to see it for a few laughs haha. another thing i am wondering is what do you think the eggs smell like haha im just curious for laughs haha i would like to smell them
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

Classic

Papparrian is disappointed in Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ Ｐａｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ． ＷＨＡＴ ＴＨＥ ＦＵＣＫ？ Ｗｈｙ ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｐｌａｙｉｎｇ ａ ＭＯＢＡ？ Ｉ ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ ｗｈｅｎ ｙｏｕ ｗｅｒｅ ａ ｙｏｕｎｇ ｂｏｙ ａｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｗｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｄａｒｅ ｔｏｕｃｈ ｔｈａｔ ｓｈｉｔ． Ｉ＇ｍ ｄｉｓｓａｐｏｉｎｔｅｄ ｉｎ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｎ． Ｒｉｐ ｉｎ ｐｅｐｐｅｒｏｎｉｓ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Giant Douche

twitchquotes: If Reynad was a Hearthstone card he'd be a Giant Douche
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

8th year without variety

📜 ✍ Sadge 𝓜𝔂 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓸𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓴𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 8𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓿𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓽𝔂. 𝓦𝓮 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓮. 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. .
February 2021
Forsen
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