[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
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GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

For the blind, it is light

twitchquotes: Who is [streamer name]? 🤔 For the blind, 🦇 it is light. 💡 For the hungry 😣 , it is bread. 🍞 For the sick, 💉 it is the cure. ⚕️ For the sad 😢 , it is joy. 😂 For the poor 🚫💰 , it is the treasure; 💰 ⛏️ for the debtor ➖ 💰 , it is forgiveness. 🙏 For the face 😶 , it is the lips 👄
twitch chat
October 2021

Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
twitch chat
March 2020

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Lazy gypsy man Kipparian

twitchquotes: Every days the lazy gypsy man Kipparian plays the game on computer when he make future wife Rania cook foods for him all day in kichen. Kripp stream can see Rania deliver food to him on Twich every day like slavery. Romani kripp must be stop rania is edcated woman who to good to be make food and babies for horrible gypsy man Kripparian all day. I be beg you all to help save good girl rania from life of barefeet in kichens.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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