[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
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More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

WHEN DOES NA PLAY?

twitchquotes: WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO PepeLaugh WHEN DOES NA PLAY PepeLaugh OH NO NO NO
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

VIRGIN CHECK Pokimane emote

twitchquotes: VIRGIN CHECK monkaS ๐Ÿ‘‰ pokiW I'm safe PogU
twitch chat
March 2019
Pokimane

Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs. Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup
August 2021

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing