[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Going against the Summoners Code

twitchquotes: Hello twitch chat, this is "xXswaglordDarienXx" from Rito Games. I've noticed a lot of you are copy pasting the same message over and over again and that unfortunately goes against the Summoners Code, so I will be forced to ban everyone in this chat. Thank you and please do not copy and paste this message.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Perfect LUL Pyramid

LUL only real LULer can build this perfect pyramid LUL LUL . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! LUL LUL LUL And my pyramid still higher!!!!!! LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
June 2016

Classic

Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Text-to-Speech Playing