[Copypasta] This message legally certifies that I was here

twitchquotes: This message marks my place as a viewer at this moment, and hereby certifies that I "was here" for any and all subsequent significant events in the near future. This message contains no other particular information, and does not imply any endorsement of, nor involvement in, the events which occur. This message is signed by Twitch authentication and dated by chatroom timestamp, and hence is legally binding.
twitch chat
February 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

hey Tyler, its me Brad

twitchquotes: hey Tyler, its me Brad, remember me . Ha, remember that time when you tried to run trough the A gap but i tackled you so hard you started crying. yes good times man.
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

Tanner from High School

Twitch Chat and Team Rocket

twitchquotes: тo proтecт тнe cнaт ғroм devaѕтaтιon, тo υnιтe ѕpaммerѕ wιтнιn oυr naтιon, тo denoυnce тнe evιlѕ oғ вanѕ and мodѕ, тo eхтend oυr ѕpaм тo тнe ѕpace aвove. copy! paѕтe! тwιтcн cнaт, ѕcroll aт тнe ѕpeed oғ lιgнт! Sυrrender or prepare тo ғιgнт! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) тнaт'ѕ rιgнт!
twitch chat
June 2014
imaqtpie

Remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat

twitchquotes: Wow great game!! PogChamp PogChamp (remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

Classic

I think my boss might be a communist

I think my boss might be a communist. So a while ago, I got my first paycheck at my new job at a fast food place. I guess it wasn't too bad, but I did the math and figured out that I sold a lot more food per hour than I got paid for, even when you account for the price of the food. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said we're all part of one big team, but some people get paid more than others. This is suspiciously close to the famous "some are more equal than others" from my favorite book, Animal Farm and is what really got me thinking about this. We make the money, and then he takes it and gives it to someone who doesn't even work! I'm not economist, but this is textbook socialism. I think I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to combat these socialist business practices would be teaming up with my fellow workers unify our power and demonstrate that we understand the full value of our labor. Anyone else have similar experiences with obviously Marxist bosses before, or any other advice?
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing