What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
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Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. โWhat?โ you ask absentmindedly. Youโre looking at Futures, and youโre surprised to see them red.
โI want you to play with me.โ She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnโt totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, โI want to do that more.โ
But youโve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. โUh huh,โ you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donโt realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donโt say a word because you donโt notice.
She hasnโt left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
Hello this is Dan from the next room over
twitchquotes:
Hello this is Dan from the next room over. Can you be quiet for 2 minutes it's almost 2am and I can still hear you. I have had a hard day doing REAL work for 13 hours and all I want is a bit of peace and quiet. LOL just kidding it's Tanner from highschool again, enjoy playing your kids games while I'm hanging out with Becca. We're watching re-runs of that time you lost that video game tournament. Peace out!
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Tanner from High School
Hello crip, this is uggernakkerweer-taguanga from Thailand
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Kripp
Oh god I want xqc so bad
twitchquotes:
Oh god I want xqc so bad ๐ฉ ๐ฆ he's so smart ๐ค ๐ and cute ๐ ๐ I would take him to my apartment and kiss him ๐ ๐ lick him ๐
๐ and finger him 
๐ I would fuck him ๐ ๐ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐คฐ ๐ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ฎ โจ๏ธ xd
๐ I would fuck him ๐ ๐ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐คฐ ๐ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐จ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ฎ โจ๏ธ xd
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xQcOW
Emoji Pasta
Iโm hoping Seraphine DIES xD
twitchquotes:
Iโm hoping Seraphine DIES xD Iโm a Seraphine HATER because sheโs so cute and EVIL! People get so trolled by her beat drop and her voice lines are SATANIC, like the one about high school! Sheโs super DEGENERATE but also smarter than she looks, just like SATAN as a kid XD
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