[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

Pimp had to discipline his whores

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つReynad, I am a pimp and recently I had to discipline my whores, how will this affect my canes༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

To protect the chat from devastation... Team Rocket and Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇɴᴏᴜɴᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴏғ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴅs. ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ sᴘᴀᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀʀs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ. ᴄᴏᴘʏ! ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ! ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴘᴀᴍ ʙʟᴀsᴛ ᴏғғ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴇᴇᴅ ᴏғ ʟɪɢʜᴛ! sᴜʀʀᴇɴᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴏʀ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ғɪɢʜᴛ! Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜᴀᴛs ʀɪɢʜᴛ!
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

Classic

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

ඞ AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I'm Tanner jr. btw!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I just turned 5 years old! My dad says I'm pretty good at this game at that I should watch your stream to learn how not to play bad. He says he stole your high school girlfriend. Oh yeah, I'm Tanner Jr. btw! Nice to meet you!
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing