[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. Can you take it easy with your complaints about Flamestrike? My friend is a developer at Blizzard and he invented Flamestrike. He has been getting spam letters in the mail threatening to "brofist" him. These spammers claim to be "insane" and "crazy" and "have exactly what they need to beat him." I am worried for him, please help. Thanks man.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans โŽ Kappa โŽ 
twitch chat
May 2016
Sneaky

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. Iโ€™m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

Scamaz had struck again

twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad

NORMIES OUT

twitchquotes: PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿšช NORMIES OUT PunOko
twitch chat
April 2017

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing