What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Reynad, this is excellent music
twitchquotes:
Reynad, this is excellent music. I'm slowly stroking my shaft to it. With each card you drop I grip slightly tighter, the smooth jazz elevator music hybrid piping in my soft supple ears. You sexy bastard you
twitch chat
Forsen
Uma Jan laughs at fear, afraid of nothing
twitchquotes:
❤Uma Jan laughs at fear, afraid of nothing, He does not shy away from the sword.The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the enemies! He cannot stand still when the game start,our lord and saviour Uma Jan.❤
twitch chat
League of Legends
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
WallStreetBets
Catch ya in the gym... not
twitchquotes:
moon2EZ sup nerds 
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome
My name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
That’s right, Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!