[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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boatyVV

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β”€ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–—β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–›β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────▄▀────────▓─────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„ β”€β–„β–„β”€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–›β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ”€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–€β”€ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–„β–€β”€β”€β”€ ───▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀──────
September 2018

Mr I'm too dank to call or write my fans

twitchquotes: dear mr im too dank to call or write my fans. this is the last meme ill ever send your ass. its been 6 months and still no accept. i dont deserve it? i know you got my last two friend requests i wrote the memes on em perfect. i love you cutie, we culdve been together think about it
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Young Sheldon is better than Rick and Morty

"Rick and Morty"? Only a plebeian worm such as yourself would engage in viewing broadcasts of such a sad and idiotic show. Unlike you low IQ apes, I please my optical sensors with only the finest of entertainment. I'll bet that you're inquiring as to what source of entertainment I am referring to. Although I don't expect you to comprehend it, the television show in question is "Young Sheldon". You see, the humor is vastly superior to that of "Rick and Morty". First of all "Rick and Morty" relies heavily on improvisional comedy, while the intellectual humor of "Young Sheldon" is scripted and well thought out before being presented to an audience. Second of all "Rick and Morty" is extremely unfaithful to its source material (Back to the Future, for you simpletons) while "Young Sheldon" is just as good if not better than watching "The Big Bang Theory". I could go on and on about how "Rick and Morty" is vastly inferior to "Young Sheldon" but I highly doubt that you have the mental capability to process such logic. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of brandy whilst I redigest the latest episode of "Young Sheldon" so I can make an entry about it to the "Young Sheldon" wikia. Hopefully, I can forget about ever having the displeasure of interacting with you.*Sighs... How tedious.
December 2020

Rick and Morty

His name was Norman Reedus

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like β€œdude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say β€œwhat the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus.
April 2021

Imagine spamming chat

twitchquotes: Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing