What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
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As a MOTHER, I am OUTRAGED
The Ghost of Gaming Future
twitchquotes:
The Ghost of Gaming Future shows Kripp a nice house in the Toronto suburbs. Inside, Kripp, Rania and their sons are happily gaming as a family. "This isn't so bad," says Kripp. "Look closer," speaks the Ghost. Kripp looks in horror to see his sons are using tablets and playing browser cash-shop games. "This is your future Casualarrian."
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Kripp
President's Day Emoji Pasta
ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! ๐จ๐จ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธtime to hop onto that founding father dick๐๐๐๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ป๐ด๐ปor should i say founding DADDIES!!!๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐๐
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๐ฆ๐ฆ out here tryna get rammed from behind ๐๐๐๐harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMOREโ๏ธโ๏ธโฐ๐๐george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh โ๏ธโ๏ธ๐ฌwinters๐ฌโ๏ธโ๏ธ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets๐ช๐โโโbe the monica Lewinsky ๐๐ปto my bill clinton๐โโ๏ธ baby and i wont deny i had ๐๐โ๏ธsexual relationsโ๏ธ๐๐ with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs๐ธ๐ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธโ๐ปsend this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES๐ธ๐ผ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐ธ๐ผwho will throw the nastiest neck๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฌ๐ฆ on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY๐๐๐๐จโค๏ธ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ๐บ๐ธ
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President's Day
To a horse, the world is basically Candyland
Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.