[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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More Copypastas

You are NOT a closer

It's SURPRISING that QT lives at your house. I don't know HOW you closed that deal cause you've never closed anything EVER. You're not a closer. You're a relief pitcher AT MAX. You're not a fucking clos- you don't got the ICE COLD VEINS like ME that I was BORN WITH to COMPETE. You're a 6th/7th inning PITCHER! You pitch those 1 2 innings FOR ME. So mango can come in and CLOSE THE DEAL. Cause I'M A CLOSER.
August 2021
ludwig

Super Smash Bros

Debunking the existence of females

"FEMALES" DON'T EXIST!!!!!!๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ A "FEMALE" is a fake person designed by the ๐ŸคฎGOVERNMENT๐Ÿคฎ to enslave men!!!!๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ PROOF๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‰ "FEMALE" stands for; F ake E ngineered MALE !!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ So be ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐCAREFUL๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ around someone who claims to be a ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก"FEMALE"๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก because they might be a ๐Ÿ˜ฑSPY๐Ÿ˜ฑ sent by the ๐ŸคฎGOVERNMENT ๐Ÿคฎ ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ If you ๐Ÿ˜กDONT๐Ÿ˜ก farward this to 20 ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿฆฑpeople๐Ÿง’ ๐Ÿ˜จLITTLE TOMMY๐Ÿ˜ฑ will crawl out of your sink and eat Your eyeballs ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿ™‚
November 2021

Emoji Pasta

Leaf Of Legend

twitchquotes: Hello mr michael "ImAPie" santana i am writing to tell you how removing adblock make me better at "Leaf Of Legend". i remove adblock and see add for "Skillcap". Skillcap help me become bestest LoL player in Somalia - Bronze 4. Worth sell wife.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

Wasting time on Twitch, must be me

twitchquotes: No job โœ”๏ธ 4Head No girlfriend โœ”๏ธ 4Head No friends โœ”๏ธ 4Head No talents โœ”๏ธ 4Head Wasting time on Twitch โœ”๏ธ 4Head Must be me 4Head
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Gold Cards should have a slight buff

twitchquotes: I feel like Gold Cards should have a slight buff, like +1 attack or -1 mana or something... not that big of a change, just so itโ€™d make Gold Cards worth it..
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing