[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is the Totemic Might police

twitchquotes: β—₯Β·ΜΏΔΉΜ―Β·ΜΏ ΜΏβ—€ This is the Totemic Might police, you're coming with us Reynad. β—₯Β·ΜΏΔΉΜ―Β·ΜΏ ΜΏβ—€
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

Only way I can feel safe

twitchquotes: When I'm ready to go to sleep I grab my laptop and get in bed. I open my laptop, go to Kripps youtube, turn the brightness all the way up and watch the video with the laptop screen close to my eyes. When the video is done I close my eyes and can still see Kripps face while I go to sleep. It's the only way I can feel safe.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

Sell out

twitchquotes: Now You're somebody that used to code
twitch chat
September 2014
Notch

πŸ‘…HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS πŸ†

πŸ‘―hey SlutS! πŸ‘―πŸ’… Now that we got our yearly 🎁 FUCK πŸ‘ŠπŸΌfrom good ole Saint DICK πŸŽ…πŸΎ it’s FINALLY New Years Eve!!!πŸ—“πŸΎπŸ‘… 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣0️⃣ was a LONGG πŸ†πŸ† and HARD πŸ˜‰βœŠπŸ»πŸ˜« year.... we laughedπŸ˜‚πŸ˜†πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ We cried πŸ˜’πŸ˜–πŸ‘Ž We coughed πŸ’¦πŸ€’πŸ€§ we fucked GOODπŸ‘πŸ» dickπŸ† and 😡😡BAD πŸ˜” dick, 😫 BUTT πŸ‘ now let’s πŸ‘πŸ‘Celebrate πŸ™ŒπŸŽ‰ and watch that πŸ’¦πŸ†BIG πŸ‘… BALL πŸ˜ŽπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ Drop πŸ‘„πŸ‘„ on us! πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ So spread πŸ‘πŸ½ those πŸ‘πŸ½ legs πŸ‘πŸ½ and count down ⬇️ from πŸ”Ÿ until your man πŸ’ͺ🏾 pops πŸŽ‰ his CORK 🍾🍾 into that thirsty πŸ‘…thirsty πŸ‘… hole! πŸ₯°πŸ₯° Send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ COCK-BEGGING βœŠπŸ»πŸ† WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED πŸ‘πŸ˜± for the next 3️⃣6️⃣5️⃣ days 😍😍😍
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

New Years

Holiday Emoji

NSFW

Holiday

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