What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hey Kripp, Art of Conquest developer here
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, Art of Conquest developer here. Just sending this message to make sure you are promoting our game via the fake questions we send you. Please answer two or three every hour. Make sure to only talk positive about our game otherwise you won't be getting your payment. Any violation of our terms and you can say goodbye to your sponsorship.Have a nice day! 
twitch chat
Kripp
My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???
He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
WallStreetBets
Classic
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child (among us)
I am a concerned mother with a 13 year old child and I am here to seek help regarding my son. Last week when we went to the supermarket, my son pointed to a red trash can and started jumping around screaming “THAT’S AMONG US! THAT TRASH CAN IS SUS! 
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
IS THE IMPOSTOR!” As soon as he did that, the manager told us to leave. I told him that my son is just excited about something, and apologised. But the manager still told us to leave so I picked up the red trash can that my son was going crazy over and threw it on the managers head. Then my son shouted “DEAD BODY REPORTED.” Can someone please tell me what on earth is wrong with him?
Among Us / Amogus
A very convincing EU > NA
twitchquotes:
C9 loses to G2 with First time Top lane Perkz ✅ • TL loses to FNC with a sub jungler debuting for them ✅ • TSM loses to OG role swapping Nukeduck and Patrik and Patrik’s first competitive Neeko game ✅ A very convincing EU > NA
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
This chat is now under the sole proprietorship of Sebastian "Forsen" Fors
twitchquotes:
******ATTENTION ***** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) This chat is now under the sole proprietorship of Sebastian "Forsen" Fors. Please type forsen W (no space), into your chat box to verify yourself as a follower of Forsen. Those who do not verify themselves and are caught posting in this chat will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
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Trump