[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Ok, so I main Mercy

twitchquotes: Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Thanks for backseating

On behalf of the Streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable care about this hardstuck challenger players mental state, since after 10 years of streaming he is not able to control his anger and tilt. Your contribution to helping him get over his weak mentality and becoming an untiltable champion of the top lane will never be forgotten!
July 2022

League of Legends

We are the ߷fidgets߷

twitchquotes: We are the ߷fidgets߷ 🔥😂 my friends 💯✌️✌️ We'll keep on 🕒spinning🕒 to the end 💀😪 We are the ߷fidgets߷ We are the the ߷fidgets߷ 💪👌🔥 No time for 👿haters👿😂 cuz we are the ߷fidgets߷ of the world 💯💯🔥 yes, we are the ߷fidgets߷ of the world!😃😃😍
twitch chat
August 2017

Fidget Spinner

Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022

Tell us what's in the sandwich

twitchquotes: ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^ tell us what's in the sandwich and nobody gets hurt kripp ̿ ̿'̿'̵з=༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽=ε/̵/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿[} ̿ ̿ ̿ ̿^
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing