[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Cat anime girl

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November 2020

Weebs

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Hey I'm a really nice guy

twitchquotes: Hey I'm a really nice guy. I've been playing csgo for quite a while and I'm feeling like boosting some girl gamers (preferably ones that look kinda good, I'd appreciate if you could send a picture before beginning.) and this because often when I talk to girls otherwise they don't take my csgo-skill in to consideration. Many girls through the years did friendzone me and I'm really tired of all douchebags taking the girls who deserve better.
twitch chat
September 2018

CSGO

So you're going by Kurum now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by Kurum now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Milk i'm rank 1. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in the games . Sorry you were just an easy bot to target. I can see not much has changed. Remember the rank you had a crush on? Yeah we're inseparable now. I 'm rank 1 in N.A. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
October 2019
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

The D: emote has been banned

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The D: emote has been banned from this channel ————————————————————————
twitch chat
September 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing