[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I hope you enjoy being tucked

twitchquotes: The year was 1999. A much younger trump was getting ready for bed when his mother entered the room. "Sweetums, it's much past your bedtime!" she chides. Obediently, Trump climbs into bed. As his mother lovingly lays the covers over him, she whispers "I hope you enjoy being tucked."
twitch chat
February 2015
Trump

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist

"Soul" in any sense, metaphorical, spiritual or religious, does not exist. What simpletons experience, specifically in the sense of a game having a "soul" is a feeling of comfort, enjoyment and fulfillment (among other positive feelings). Those simpletons, usually rarely experience such feeling, especially outside of gaming, and cannot comprehend that non simpletons can find positive feelings and emotion in many games (as well outside of gaming). You're a prime example of such creature, and the most fascinating part is you do not even understand or comprehend how wasted and useless your mind is. Truly a wonder to behold and a warning for all parents.
June 2021

I'm tired of this terrible chat

twitchquotes: I'm tired of this terrible chat. I make thoughtful comments and cheer the teams on, but then chat spams and my comment gets lost. I might as well just spam PunchTrees 7 like the rest of you...
twitch chat
April 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Hippo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ(◐)β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β€ƒβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex

twitchquotes: I want to sleep with you. No, i dont mean have sex. I mean sleep. Together. Under a blanket. In your bed. While your laying on my arm with my other hand on your tummy. With the window cracked, so its chilly and we have to cuddle closer. No talking, just the muffled cries.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Text-to-Speech Playing