[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kennen's son

twitchquotes: Hey Hydra, this is Kennen's son. You pick my dad so much I don't get to see him anymore. Can't you give him a break or two every now and then? He's in your comp every game and he's so tired all the time from you working him so hard. Please Hydra, I just want my dad back.
twitch chat
August 2019
DarkHydra

Teamfight Tactics

Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Whale and bee wrestling

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡴⠊⠉⠁⠄⡱⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⢩⢽⡝⠒⠒⡩⢍⣍⠉⠁⠄⢄⣸⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠟⠚⠋⠄⠄⠄⠣⠻⠟⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣆⠄ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠢⡀⠄⠄⢧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄ ⠄⠉⠑⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⠄⠄⠻⡛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⢖⣲⠒⢦⣀⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⣀⣱⣄⣠⠴⠚⢭⡙⠉⠙⠲⣼⡷⠤⠤⣤⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⣇⠄⠸⡇ ⠄⠄⢎⢰⣿⠈⠄⠘⢄⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⣇ ⠄⢀⠎⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⠄⢨⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡇ ⠄⢜⢀⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣾⣿⠇⢀⣼⣿⡿⠄⠈⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡏ ⠄⠘⠢⢄⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠚⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠦⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⡿⠉⠄⠄⣠⠾⢋⡼⠃ ⠄⠔⠂⠈⠙⢲⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⡡⠤⠶⡋⠁⠄⢸⡇⠄ ⠎⠄⡠⠴⠒⠼⣿⣽⣯⣶⣤⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣶⡇⠄⠄⢠⠁⠄⠄⣧⡀⠄⠸⡇⠄ ⣀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡎⠄⠄⡰⠠⡙⢦⣀⢧⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⢸⠁⠄⠊⠄⣀⠇⠄⠉⠛
March 2021

Teamfight Tactics

Twitch logo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡇⠀⡇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣤⣾⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠘⠋⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠿⢦⠤⠤⣤⠤⠤⡤⠤⢼⡧⠤⢼⠀⠀⠿⠤⡄⡠⠤⠴⠿⡇⠀⠀⠧⠤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠿⢿⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠇⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠿⠿⡇⠀⠸⠿⠿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠀⢸⣄⠀⠀⠀⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
April 2021

Ben Shapiro counts to one million

So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing