[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Albert Einstein watches Rick and Morty

twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
twitch chat
September 2017

Classic

Rick and Morty

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUELℒ️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind β˜‘ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Copy and paste anything as long as there are clap emojis

twitchquotes: πŸ‘ YOU πŸ‘ IDIOTS πŸ‘ WILL πŸ‘ PASTE πŸ‘ ANYTHING πŸ‘ AS πŸ‘ LONG πŸ‘ AS πŸ‘ THERE πŸ‘ ARE πŸ‘ CLAP πŸ‘ EMOJIS πŸ‘
twitch chat
March 2018

Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp

twitchquotes: helo my name is dongerino pasterino γƒ½ΰΌΌΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΌ½οΎ‰, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°) to young dongers.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games
Text-to-Speech Playing