[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Troll face 6

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣟⡿⠏⠛⠛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⡛⡙⠛⠻⠯⠿⠟⢯⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⢟⡾⢛⡿⠿⢶⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣲⢶⣶⢭⣙⠻⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⡽⣀⡫⣽⣿⣿⣻⠟⠀⠀⠀⠑⢽⢿⢟⢿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠙⠿⣷⣝⢷⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣰⢟⠛⢝⣺⡭⣃⡀👁⠀⠀⣨⣗⣾⣷⢘⣄👁 ⣀⣔⢺⣟⢿⣥⠛⢿ ⡏⣵⡎⣵⣱⣶⡀⠈⠙⢯⣳⣶⣶⢂⣼⠹⠿⠛⣿⣦⢳⣄⣶⡺⠝⠈⠁⢰⠏⣷⠈ ⡀⢿⣿⣄⣿⢿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣛⡗⣞⣉⡉⢉⣈⢭⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣾⡹⢀ ⣷⣌⠿⣼⣜⣿⣿⡽⣦⠀⠀⠀⣼⣷⡸⣰⡎⢋⣾⣷⢣⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢠⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⠙⣿⡿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣄⠀⠈⠉⠁⠛⠃⠘⠿⠿⠈⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣘⠿⡽⣿⣿⣮⣳⣱⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣷⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣽⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢦⡀⠀⠐⣆⢷⣿⡎⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⡘⠻⢿⣷⡺⣴⣦⣥⣍⣈⣁⣀⠈⠤⣖⣶⣾⣵⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⣙⣒⡶⠾⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣻⡽⠛⢟⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣭⣥⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⢿⣽⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣻⣽⣿⡿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣽
October 2021

Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
November 2018

A physicist called Octavian

twitchquotes: The year is 2027. A physicist called Octavian has created the first inter-dimensional portal capable of exploring alternate galaxies. "Finally, I have done it..." he says as he steps into the portal. He enters a room where he sees himself giving a "Brofist" to his computer. His only reaction: " FailFish ".
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

THERE'S TOO MUCH SALT

twitchquotes: (╬ ಠ益ಠ) IM GETTING ANGRY THERES TOO MUCH SALT (╬ ಠ益ಠ)
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Daga Kotowaru (I refuse)

⣼⠀⠀⢻⠿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣟⣒⠶⠿⢿⣷⣷⣦⣟⣻⡿⠿⣷⣶⣭ ⠻⣄⢀⡤⠤⠴⠛⢦⣩⡭⠗⢺⡿⠯⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣽⣟⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦ ⠀⠹⣾⠁⣀⠀⠀⣊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⣤⠴⠛⠉⢿⡓⠶⣯⣭⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⣿⡟⢹⢠⡞⣡⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⡋⠁⠀⠙⠻⣭⣟⡒⡲ ⠀⠀⣿⠶⠾⡟⣆⢰⡄⠀⣠⠔⠋⠁⡗⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⣉⡳⠄⠀⣠⣾⠿⠈⠙⢓ ⠀⣰⣿⠁⢀⣙⢮⡳⣥⠞⠁⠘⠄⠀⣧⣶⣋⣥⢶⣻⡭⠿⣗⣴⡋⣟⣆⣠⠾⠋ ⠀⣧⣿⠼⣿⠛⢷⣿⣾⡇⠀⢠⡏⢉⣉⣥⣖⣋⠛⠦⢤⣀⠀⠀⡽⠸⣏⡀⢠⠋ ⠀⢳⣾⠀⠈⢩⢹⣿⡿⠁⠀⠁⠸⣄⠘⢯⣉⣉⣯⣿⣳⣮⠀⠘⣇⣠⡬⣺⣏⢣ ⠀⠈⣿⠀⠐⠀⢀⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠊⠓⠄⡉⢩⣭⠿⠀⠐⠒⡉⣯⠞⣧⢸⠈ ⣤⠤⣼⡇⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⡏⠀⢈⣤⡼ ⢠⠞⢉⣧⠀⠀⣇⠤⣦⣄⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⡐⠛⠂⠀⢀⡟⣀⡾⠋⠁ ⠏⢠⡞⣿⢠⣶⣞⢷⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢁⡜⠀⠀⠀⣔⣫⣾⡿⣧⠀⠀ ⢀⡟⠀⢻⣠⣿⡾⣭⣽⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⢡⠏⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⡾⠋⠀⢼⡇⠀ ⢸⠁⠀⢸⡏⢣⣝⡛⠛⠻⠧⠀⠀⠀⢀⠚⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⢻⢳⢆⢀⣼⡇⠀ ⠸⡇⠀⠸⡇⠈⠌⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠏⢿⣾⣿⣰⣿⠎⣿⠦ ⠀⢹⡄⠀⣿⢐⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠆⣀⣠⠴⠖⠛⠉⠀⠀⢀⣤⢞⣵⠃⠀⠹⣇ ⢣⡀⠙⢦⡈⠓⠮⢤⣤⣤⣤⡶⠞⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⡤⠞⠋⡤⠜⠃⠀⠀⠤⠛
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing