What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Ben Shapiro destroys another leftist
"Mr. Shapiro, what are your thoughts on women's rights to have an abortion?"
Ben: "WELL, that's a very interesting QUESTION, SIR. Before I get started, did you know that my WIFE is a DOCTOR?"
Reporter: "...Mr. Shapiro, that's- not-"
Ben: "I didn't think so, LEFTIST. Now back to your question- 'should women be allowed to MURDER and SHOOT innocent BABIES and CHILDREN?"
Reporter: "Sir, that's not what my orig-"
Ben: "OBVIOUSLY not. Now according to PragerU UNIVERSITY, there once was a FARMER who had a DOG, and Bingo was his name-o. Do you know how to spell it?"
Reporter: (silence)
Ben: "B-I-N-G-O. And Bingo was his name-o."
(Stares reporter in the eye; has not blinked since the asked question)
"B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, B, I, N G O, And Bingo was his name-o."
Reporter: (Visibly taken aback) "Mr. Shapiro, this is ridiculo-"
(The conservative crowd begins laughing and shouting and singing with Ben)
All: "And Bingo was his name-o!"
(Ben shouting as the curtains close,) "Another CUCK LEFTIST DESTROYED! BAZINGA!"
Ben Shapiro
Wake up realization
zZzZ...
＜⌒／ヽ-､_＿_
／＜_/＿＿＿＿／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
∧_∧
( ･_･) [insert text here]
＿| ⊃／(＿＿_
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!
GUYS IM MEETING AMOGUS!!!! 😭😭📮📮❤️❤️❤️ IM SERIOUSLY NOT LYING!!! My mom is also the impostor and she says i can meet him as long as i sign papers saying i can’t expose who he is to other crewmates 😱😱 This is so epic I will be updating and IM NOT LYING IF YOU THINK IM LYING THEN LEAVE 🤬🤬 Should I ask to report my mom cause she is sus?
Among Us / Amogus
Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino
twitchquotes:
Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
Reynad
My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)
At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.