[Copypasta] YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Elephant

β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“(O)β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ
November 2014

Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat"

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is your cat, "small cat", since you don't listen to my cries I decided to contact you on this twitch chat. If you don't feed me right now im going to shit in your shoes tonight, fuccboi. Your loving "small cat"
twitch chat
May 2015
imaqtpie

The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
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June 2017
Kripp

I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out β€œOscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

Missed lethal does not exist

twitchquotes: Missed lethal does not exist. It is all a well planned and intelligent BM. Now, BM is a very fragile subject. Some say it is bad, some say it is good. But only the best of the best BM kings know the truth. Putting your opponent on 1 health and ending turn is NOT missed lethal. Not using Grommash on explosive trap for lethal is NOT missed lethal. It is pure outplay and master-level BM. So, next time you spam 'MISSED LEGAL' in chat like retards, think again. Watch and learn kids, do as the masters.
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Forsen

Hearthstone

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