About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta
HEY ππ© there comrade π¦πͺcummy! the πΉ supreme π cockπ has π³voted to strike π©ββοΈβοΈdown the π sexy π€§π€°π»roe v. wade decision πaccording π€€π¦Άπ»to a opinion πwrittenβοΈπΈ by daddy π
π»π sammy πΆπ»π
π»ββοΈ aLITo. π·π¨ the opinion is a π¦π FULL THROATED π²β€οΈβπ₯GIRTHY π contraDICKtion π«π of the 1973 πΏπdecision that ππ»ββοΈπ guaranteed federal π€ cocks-titutuinal π³ protection π
πof abortion rights!!! β€οΈβπ₯π«‘everyone who π³οΈβππ¦ woke remember πβπ»π€ to fund πΈπ₯΅ planned parenthood and πͺπΌ donate to π§πΌβπΌπ€abortion funds! get yo πΈuturuses ππ turnt you πwhore! πevery whore knows π§ πΌthat everyone πshould have π©ββοΈπ₯access to safe π πabortions β€οΈπ if they choose π
π»π to have one. ππΉsend to ten π¬πof your closest π±π
ΎοΈWHORES to secure abortion π«π€rights in ameriCUM π€€πΊπΈif you get five β back abortion ππrights will be codified π©ββοΈπ€€in law πΈπ
Emoji Pasta
Politics
Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
Kripp
Sanic Hegehog
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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thank you for slow mode
twitchquotes:
thank you for slow mode. im an old man and chat scrolling so fast makes it hard to keep up. thank you again from a 56 year old veteran.
twitch chat
You can't stop what's coming leafboy
You can't stop what's coming leafboy. I walk all over leaves every autumn, you think this year will be any different? Your flag is a fucking leaf. You chose the one part of the tree that dies every year. Not only that, but it's one of hundreds of leaves, thousands if it's a big tree. All dead come winter. Every winter. A vicious cycle. Totally insignificant. As soon as the tree has had it's way with you you are cast to the Earth to be trod by all other living things. Ants? They not only stomp about you, they will steal your corpse and use it for their people. Birds steal your lifeless shell with impunity. Leaves not only die once, but every year. A brave man dies only once, but leaves die a thousand deaths, or at least 20 or 30 if the tree lives that long. Perhaps more. Every year, leafs crunch beneath my boot. This year shall be no different. So it shall be written. So it shall be done. The day of the rake is at hand because every day is the day of the rake and has always been.