About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Watch out I'm driving (Truck)
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββ β 
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
β(@)βββββββ(@)(@)βββββββββββββ(@)β
WATCH OUT I'M DRIVING
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
β(@)βββββββ(@)(@)βββββββββββββ(@)β
Classic
Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you
twitchquotes:
(Ζ Λβ£Λ(Λβ£Λ) Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you. (Λβ£Λ)Λβ£Λ C)
twitch chat
Kripp
Can Everyone stop spamming J LUL K E
twitchquotes:
Can Everyone stop spamming J 
K E he is a pro player that is on the level far above any of you will ever be and its disrespectful for him as a legend dps to play junkrat when J K E is being spammed
K E he is a pro player that is on the level far above any of you will ever be and its disrespectful for him as a legend dps to play junkrat when J K E is being spammed
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Among Us concerned father
Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game βAmong Usβ after playing it on his computer. While i didnβt mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'susβ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said βkickedβ. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying heβll βejectβ me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Dripβ, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a βcrewmateβ. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use βventβ to get there. I donβt know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
Among Us / Amogus
your streams lately have really helped me
twitchquotes:
hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat