About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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I've never even watched The Simpsons
I am beyond fucking angry right now. As I type this message I can physically feel my muscles tensing and my blood pressure rising. Why the fuck would you call me a "simp"? I've never even fucking watched The Simpsons. Not one fucking episode. I hope you retract that statement, because i'd never refer to you as a dick for not watching Dick and Dom in da Bungalow.
Don't mind me taking my IKE for a walk
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ___[NAIR][NAIR] Don't mind me taking my IKE for a walk
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Super Smash Bros
Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards
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Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence 
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Hearthstone
Sigma male schedule
2:00 am- Wake up
2.05am-Cold shower
2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall
2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup.
2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline)
6:45am-cold shower
7:00am-begin sprint to work
8:00am-arrive at work
8:05am-get called into boss' office
8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour"
8:10am-sprint back home
9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal
9:10am-edging(as punishment)
3:00pm- bed time
Qtpie plays Apex Legends
twitchquotes:
qtpDANCE on me qtpDANCE hes one hit qtpDANCE hes lit qtpDANCE hes no armor qtpDANCE im fucking running qtpDANCE im dead as fuck qtpDANCE im far as fuck from you guys qtpDANCE im gigalooted qtpDANCE give me a real gun game qtpDANCE oh my god qtpDANCE im so fucking bad qtpDANCE oh shit qtpDANCE im fucking trolling qtpDANCE if anyone has a skullpiercer qtpDANCE
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imaqtpie