About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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I will now transform this human into a cat
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I WILL NOW TRANSFORM THIS HUMAN INTO A CATβ°( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β° )γ€βββ -> -> -> 
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Classic
She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high
until they're rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em
Hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well!
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore.
Kripp will baby rage no matter the game!
twitchquotes:
Hearthstone? 
Artifact? it's all the same! Kripp will baby rage no matter the game!
Artifact? it's all the same! Kripp will baby rage no matter the game!
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
neverlucky
Artifact
The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed
twitchquotes:
The year is 2025. Kripp lies on his deathbed, the countless years of veganism finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Rania "K"
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Kripp
Hyper improvement platform
twitchquotes:
Micheal, in this brand new season full of unexpected challenges and adventures in the world that is solo q, what can I / We / YOUR VIEWERS use in order to maximise our game knowledge and as a result increase our chance of getting higher ranks, I need a hyper improvement platform man, hit me up!
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imaqtpie