About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
What happened to this ad? :(
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Dex sits in a huge doghouse
twitchquotes:
A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
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Kripp
McDonald's BTS Meal
So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster.
Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created.
I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army".
bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
Troves lump
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once
A Jerma clone showed up at my school as a substitute once. He comes is and is posturing like heās really tall and large but the guy couldnāt be more than 5ā4ā. The class starts and he is just sitting there in quietly staring forward in the front of the class with an awfully distorted picture of his face that said āThe required information is in the lab directionsā but he never handed us anything. This goes on for a minute until one of the talkative kids just asks if he is okay he hadnāt even taken a breath yet and veins were popping out of his neck and forehead. The moment the kid made a noise he stated wildly shaking his head around while making high pitched laser(?) sounds. Worst period of geology Iāve ever had. The rest was just him passing out the lab sheet but he would just hold it toward them motionless until they reached for it and he would snatch it away and laugh at them right in their face. Couldnāt find a more fucked guy if I tried. I'll edit in the image if anyone got a pic of it.
Jerma985
I want to fuck a cheeseburger
I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonaldās for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonaldās I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.