About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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FrankerZ
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Catch ya in the gym... not
twitchquotes:
moon2EZ sup nerds 
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
*sips Monster Energy Drink*. Name's Kyle, and you losers wish you were me. All I need in this world is my sick JUUL Vape pen, a 12 pack of Monsters, and some drywall to punch. I only wear the finest Tapout and Affliction T-shirts and I'm the best fry cook Applebee's has ever had. While you waste away your day on this fucking bald guy's nerd chat, I'll be talking to tons of hot babes on my MetroPCS iPhone. Anyways, stay mad losers, I'm outta here moon2EZ Catch ya in the gym... not
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MOONMOON
I'm not your typical 12 year old
twitchquotes:
I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old.
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Kissahomie
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All becoming SELLOUT
twitchquotes:
Ｗｈｅｎ ＳＰＯＮＳＯＲＥＤ， ｍｙ ｈａｎｄ ｇｏｅｓ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｐｏｃｋｅｔ． Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｔｈｅ ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｌｌａｒｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｐｏｎｓｏｒ． Ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ
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Kripp