About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy
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Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." 
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Kripp
S T A Y W O K E
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πππ S T A Y W O K E
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Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying
Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
Weebs
Classic
Just me and EA hanging out
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Just me and π°πEAππ°, hanging out I wanted some Star Warsπ so I started to pout π He asked if I was down β¬for something yummy ππ and I asked what and he said he'd give me his π°π¦looties!π¦π° Yeah! Yeah!ππ¦ I earn them!π¦ I buy them!π¦ I purchase them wholeπ¦π° π It makes π°πEAππ° πhappyπ so it's my only goal... ππ¦π«Harder EA! Harder EA! π«π¦π 1 lootieπ¦, 2 lootieπ¦π¦, 3 lootieπ¦π¦π¦, 4π¦π¦π¦π¦ I'm π°πEA'sππ° πDisney princess πbut I'm also a consumer whore! π He makes me OPπ!He makes me feel goodπ! πππHe makes me feel everything a whale should!~ πππ ππ¦πWa-What!ππ¦πο»Ώ
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Smartest Man in Existence
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When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.
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