About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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DON'T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS ROOKIE
twitchquotes:
📞 
HELLO ROOKIE, DON’T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS 📞
HELLO ROOKIE, DON’T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS 📞
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Riot Games
League of Legends
You have posted a bad meme
twitchquotes:
Greetings. It appears as though you have posted a "bad meme". Now, it isn't too late to rectify your error! With these simple steps, you can redeem yourself int he eyes of your internet peers. 1) ctrl + w 
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I just nutted to your comment FAQ (Reddit)
I just nutted to your comment.
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
The amount of cum (semen) on my phone and Reddit phone has increased by one.
## Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be worthy of cum. These include, but are not limited to:
• you being a femboy, • Spreading sti infections, • Sarcasm correctly flagged with a /s.
## Am I banned from the Reddit?
No. But you should make comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to not cum.
## I don't believe my comment deserved a nut. Can you un-nut to it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a nut. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot your nut on me. I tend to respond to Being shot with nut within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of nut appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the nut and move on. your behavior will be nutted to on Reddit.com. I will continue to nut until you stop being so hot 😩 Remember: I’m horny uwu
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Kripp should change his name to hl_kripp
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripparino, this is Noah Liferino, CEO of No Life Incorporated©. As you may already know, we are requiring you to change your Twitch name to hl_kripp (has life) as you no longer are a "no life". This was stated in the contract you signed under section 6 article 9 paragraph 420. This is to be enforced immediately.
twitch chat
Kripp