[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

He logs onto his Paypal account

twitchquotes: Several hours later, Svenskeren sits alone in his room at the Cloud9 team house. All of the other players are fast asleep. He logs onto his Paypal account and a wan smile etches its way across his face.
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff

twitchquotes: Hello there, Octavian! This is Kurt McGriff, executive producer for the Food Channel. We have reviewed your recent application to be a host of your own TV show on our network titled, "Salty Vegan Eats - A Pro Gamer's Way of Life" However, after further reviewing your claim of being an "extremely popular professional gamer" we found the evidence lacking. Mr. Octavian, casually playing a children's card game does not make you a "pro gamer." Have a nice day and good luck to your future endeavors.
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

salty

Iron Man v2

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October 2021

Intelligest response to "Who asked?"

What if somebody did ask, huh, what then? I'm sure they were quite satisfied with the answer. But you, no, you cannot for the life of you find a way to somehow think about what someone else thinks or feels. When you imply that nobody asked, you're talking solely about yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. Try to find the simple joys of life instead of wasting perhaps the best years of your life away, sitting in your shit smeared, cheeto dust covered, cum bespeckled ergonomic office chair. Maybe start working out, think about somebody other than you, secure yourself a date, anything will work, so long as you get the fuck outside and stop asking "who asked" every 2 fucking minutes, because quite frankly nobody asked for your opinion as well. You're but a speck of extra stinky shit in a pile of manure, that's all the significance you have in this world, but you can change that with 4 simple words: Shutting the fuck up. Thank you and have a good day
November 2021

Who Asked?

Kindred

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⣴⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡆⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢳⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠦⢤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠥⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⠿⠋⠁⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠀⢠⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠈⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⠓⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠿⠿⠿⠋⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣆⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠓⠲⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠟⠻⠿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣷⡸⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶⠀⠋⣠⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⢀⣾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠙⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2021

League of Legends

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