About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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Ebettle
twitchquotes:
I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of e-betting website to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ebettle, the best betting website on the internet. Now available for children.
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sellout
Classic
Putin had a private screening of Morbius
Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded āI have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.ā
Morbius
We truly do live in a society
twitchquotes:
I only have Joker art, because I'm so oppressed by society 
I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
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MOM I NEED V-BUCKS
twitchquotes:
āļøā OK MOM āāļøWE NEED TO TALK š”š¤ I NEED V-BUCKS ššµ I'VE MADE STRAIGHT A'S šš¤Ø I'VE CLEANED MY ROOM š«š¤¬ I'VE TAKEN OUT THE TRASH šļøš« I CUT THE CATS ASSHOLE HAIR šš NOW I NEED YOU š§š TO BUY ME V-BUCKS šš„ I'VE GOTTA SHOW š¤Æš¤¬ MY CLOUT ON FORTNITE š„ššÆ NOW I'LL BE IN BED š“š¤ BY NINE BECAUSE IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT šššø
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