[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ry216i/comment/hrmismb/
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Hey Kripp! It's Arena...

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! It's Arena... It's been a while, haven't it old buddy? I see that you've been playing Battlegrounds and have completely forgotten about me, even though I was always there for you. Low blow Kripp, hope you finish 8th in all your next games. Toodles!
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Unhappy Gordon Ramsey

⠁⑼⠋⠀⣆⠀⠀⣰⣿⣫⣾Ⓙ⣿⣿⠍⒠⠠⠀⠀⒀⠰Ⓘ⣺⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⑀⠀ β£₯⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠠Ⓕ⒬⠁⣠⣾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠱⠏⑉⠙⣿⣿⑇⠀ β’³β €β’°β‘–β €β €β ˆβ €β£Ίβ’°β£Ώβ’»β£Ύβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£€β£€β£΄β£Ύβ£Ώβ£·β£Όβ‘†β’Έβ£Ώβ£§β € β ˆβ €β œβ ˆβ£€β£”β£¦β’¨β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£…β£Όβ ›β’Ήβ € β €β €β €β €β’‹β‘Ώβ‘Ώβ£―β£­β‘Ÿβ£Ÿβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£½β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β‘˜β € ⑀⠐⠀⠀⠀⣿⣯⑿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑿⠋⣉Ⓗ⣿⑆⠀⠀ ⒳⠀⠄⠀⒀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⠉⠉⠉⠛⣻⒛⣿⠛⠃⠀⠐⠛⠻⣿⑇⠀⠀ β£Ύβ „β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ›β β’€β €β’€β‘„β£€β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘ β£΄β£Žβ£€β£ β£ β£Ώβ‘‡β €β € ⣧⠀⣴⣄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣢⣢⣖⣢⣬⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀ β£Ώβ£Άβ£ˆβ‘―β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β£Ήβ’§β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£„β ™β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β €β € β Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β’Œβ’½β£»β’Ώβ£―β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ£ β‘˜β Ώβ Ÿβ ›β ›β Ÿβ ›β£§β‘ˆβ »β£Ύβ£Ώβ €β €β € β €β ˆβ ‰β£·β‘Ώβ£½β Άβ‘Ύβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’ƒβ£€β£Ώβ£·β£€β£€β£„β£„β£ β£Όβ‘Ώβ’·β’€β£Ώβ‘β €β €β € β €β €β’€β£Ώβ£·β Œβ£ˆβ£β£β ½β‘Ώβ£·β£Ύβ£β£€β£‰β£‰β£€β£€β£€β£ β£ β£„β‘Έβ£Ύβ£Ώβ ƒβ €β €β € β €β£°β‘Ώβ£Ώβ£§β‘β „β ±β£Ώβ£Ίβ£½β’Ÿβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£β ‰β’€β£€β£β£Όβ£―β‘—β Ÿβ‘β €β €β €β € β£°β£Ώβ €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£΄β‘€β ‚β ˜β’Ήβ£­β‘‚β‘šβ Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ώβ’Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ’β£΄β£Ώβ£·β£Άβ£¦β£€
ascii art
February 2022

A hole in my son's body pillow

My son is 13, recently I've bought him a body pillow of a cartoon he liked and I've noticed he made a hole in it, does this mean he doesn't like the pillow? Should I buy him a new one?
May 2021

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

Hippo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ(◐)β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β€ƒβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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