About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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More Copypastas
Doesn't mean I'm a virgin
twitchquotes:
π‘ Just because I watch Kripp π‘ doesn't mean I'm a virgin π‘ It's just a coincidence π‘
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Kripp
OFFICIAL BRUH MOMENT
twitchquotes:
βEMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEMβ .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β HAS ISSUED AN OFFICIAL .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β .β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β β π΄π΄BRUH MOMENTπ΄π΄
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Le Boobhead has arrived
βββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββ(β)βββββββ(β)βββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββleββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββboobheadβββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββhasβββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββarrivedβββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now
twitchquotes:
God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now. 
I want his scientist ape body all over me every day, it brings me to orgasmic relief that he could yell "OH YEAH" or "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" to me at anytime. moon2GASM If Activision Blizzard made Winston sexdolls I would buy them all for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Winston is so fucking smart, I want him to teach me science and I'll teach him about fetishes. Fuck I just want Winston to be real. π«
I want his scientist ape body all over me every day, it brings me to orgasmic relief that he could yell "OH YEAH" or "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" to me at anytime. moon2GASM If Activision Blizzard made Winston sexdolls I would buy them all for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Winston is so fucking smart, I want him to teach me science and I'll teach him about fetishes. Fuck I just want Winston to be real. π«
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Overwatch
Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew
twitchquotes:
Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
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Kripp