About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
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More Copypastas
You Fell Off + Ratio
you fell off + ratio + you're white + you're british + who asked + no u + deez nuts + radio + don't care + didn't ask + i'm a minor + i'm neurodivergent + caught in 4k + cope + seethe + GG + in 1947 the world's first general purpose computer, the 30 ton ENIAC was created + your mom's + the hood watches markiplier now + grow up + L + L (part 2) + retweet + ligma + taco bell tortilla crunch + think outside the bun + ur benched + ur a wrench + i own you + ur dad fell off + my dad could beat ur dad up + ur aimhacking + silver elite + tryhard + boomer + sksksksk + ur beta + i'm sigma + ur submissive + L (part 3) + yb better + ur sus + this is a cry for help and i'm extremely depressed. + quote tweet + you're cringe + i did your mom + you bought monkey nft + you're weirdchamp + you're a clown
Ratio
SCP Jerma
Item #: SCP-985-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance.
Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state.
SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment.
Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact".
SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on โโ/โโ/201โ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
Jerma985
mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition
I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale.
It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other.
But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum.
All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse.
We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole
twitchquotes:
lmao mizkif maybe if u werent such an asshole with a huge ego maybe the cool streamers like mitch jones would come over and learn mario 64 speed running tricks with you. lmao but ur just depressed its actually sad ur sad, i would know i'm a hate watcher that used to make $600k a month... anyway my dad's coming downstairs gotta go
twitch chat
Mizkif
im not homophobic, just extremely racist
Hi i got suspended from reddit for the "what are you fucking gay" comment and just wanted to say that it was a joke and i thought that it could obviously be seen as one but i guess it wasnt. So yeah im not homophobic, just extremely racist, sorry if i made you feel bad, all my homies are allies of the lgbtq community. idek if you reported it maybe you got the joke but better safe than sorry and all that