About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
roleplay with you as your online gf
twitchquotes:
I just have seen your stream and wanted to say that I thought you were super adorable. you don’t know me at all and i know it’s kinda weird. I just thought maybe it’d be fun to roleplay with you as your online gf maybe? I know you’re straight. I’m a boy that’s why I was saying roleplay.. this isn’t a troll. again, I know it’s really random and weird. I’m sorry. It would just be a fun online relationship - nothing serious and I could donate to you and your stream and support you and just be here
twitch chat
Classic
Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST
twitchquotes:
└( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST! └( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐ ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ loidW ✓ mitchW ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ taymooW ✓ PLEB TEST PASSED
twitch chat
imaqtpie
plebs vs subs
Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie
twitchquotes:
He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
Pepega SUSHI SUSHI
twitchquotes:
SUSHI SUSHI 📞 
RUNNING LOW ON BRAINCELLS 📞 NEED BACKUP 📞 ALLIGATOR 📞
RUNNING LOW ON BRAINCELLS 📞 NEED BACKUP 📞 ALLIGATOR 📞
twitch chat
Papparian returns from a business trip
twitchquotes:
Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
Kripp