About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
I used to be a real ad
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That's some bad shit right there
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do NOT sign me the FUCK up ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ bad shit baฬทฬถ ิ sHit ๐ thats โ some bad ๐๐shit right ๐๐ th ๐ ere ๐๐๐ right โ there โ โ if i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ๐ซ i say so ๐ซ thats not what im talking about right there right there (chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต แตสฐแตสณแต) mMMMMแทะ ๐ซ ๐ ๐๐ะO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ Ooooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแต ๐ ๐๐ ๐ ๐ซ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐Bad shit
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Hearthstone is unfair!
twitchquotes:
HEARTHSTONE IS UNFAIR! FACE WARRIOR IS IN THERE! PATCHES IN HIS POSSESSION! PLO TTING HIS AGGRESSION!
HEARTHSTONE IS UNFAIR! FACE WARRIOR IS IN THERE! PATCHES IN HIS POSSESSION! PLO TTING HIS AGGRESSION!
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Hearthstone
If Apple opens super green tomorrow
If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
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If you're a grown-ass man and you still wipe your ass, you're not a real man.
This should be self-explanatory but apparently, I have to justify myself.
There's nothing more feminine than using a product on your body. Makeup is 100% feminine and by the same logic, so is wiping your ass. I haven't wiped my ass in about 4 years, and I've NEVER had any issues. My digestive system is in the top 1% in terms of regularity, functionality, and performance, and I've never once felt the need to "clean up" after myself.
If you shit, and you need to wipe, you've got an emasculated GI tract and that's your own issue. Man up and get your shit (literally) together.
Your team is all washed up
twitchquotes:
Rick Fox invites Shiphtur to his private island, and says to him, "I want you to play on my team." "But who will be my teammates?" Shiphtur replies. Just as he asks that, Dyrus, Scarra, Voyboy and Imaqtpie swim ashore. Rick Fox smiles as he looks towards the shore: "Your team is all washed up."
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