[Copypasta] what do you say when you come? murk durgle

About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist. I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out" Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
January 2022
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Biden transplants his brain into the United States' neural network database

thats very true. if you vote trump, there is no nuance in that little flipping nugget of a brain of yours. you are a simpleton, comparable to the gum stuck on the heel of my shoe- dirtying an institution which needs to be scraped clean. thankfully, your time has come. the antics end with joe biden, who has squandered the far-right and united a nation, and once he transplants his beautiful old slimy man brain into the United States' neural network database (which is encrypted and connected to the internet, along with google's whole database, so yes, he WILL know what you're doing) we can finally live in a safe country.
July 2022

Politics

Joe Biden

Donald Trump

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.ο»Ώ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade (Portal)

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
May 2021

Applejack

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘.’.β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
November 2014

Purify is not particularly fun or interactive

twitchquotes: Purify created a strategy that revolved around trying to lose to your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Silencing your own minions and battles between the players and Blizzard make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but spending 2 mana on a trash card in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
August 2016
Reynad

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing