[Copypasta] My name is Dennis Pasterino

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ Hello, Kripp. My name is Dennis Pasterino and I'm a talent scout with 'Morton Modeling Agency'. I wonder if you would be able to discuss a business opportunity. We're holding open auditions for n**e models to pose for the first 'Hunkaroonie Beefcakes of Twitch Calendar'. Please send close up donger pics. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, this is Jessica from Vegan Heritage Corp. We scanned our ancestry data-base and it appears you're related to the dinosaur known as Willy Vegansaurus the Herbivorous Dinosaur from 194 B.C We have tried contacting him, but it appears he died from a giant 'Meat-eor' sent from Villa the Spaghettisaurus from space. We fear he's making giant meatballs again, we recommend going carnivorous or earth could be doomed again!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp

twitchquotes: If Kripp was a vacation he'd be nl_Tripp 4Head If Kripp was a leaky pipe he'd be nl_Dripp 4Head If Kripp didn't wear a shirt he'd be nl_Nipp 4Head
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Hello Kripp, Flute Guy here. TUTURURU

twitchquotes: Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｋｒｉｐｐ， Ｆｌｕｔｅ Ｇｕｙ ｈｅｒｅ． Ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｔｏ ｓａｙ： ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ ♩♬～♪ ． ♩♬～♪ ＴＵＴＵＲＵＲＵ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Bowling simulator: E-Bowler

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Kenneth Jizbombski, president of Viral Games, Inc. Recently sales of our most popular Bowling simulator "E-Bowler" have plummeted. Please help my small company by going out and getting E-Bowler any way that you can. I want E-Bowler to spread infecting people with it's incredible gameplay!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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