[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

George Floyd BLACK LIVES MATTER

⣼⣿⣿⢿⡻⢝⠙⠊⠋⠉⠉⠈⠊⠝⣿⡻⠫⠫⠊⠑⠉⠉⠑⠫⢕⡫⣕⡁⠁ ⣼⡻⠕⠅⠁⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⠈⠄⠁⠄⠁⣿⡮⠄⠁⠄⠄⡠⠶⠶⠦⡀⠈⣽⡢ ⣿⣧⠄⠁⠄⠔⠒⠭⠭⠥⠥⠓⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡄⠁⠠⣤⠉⠉⣭⠝⠈⢐⣽⣕ ⣿⣷⡢⢄⡰⡢⡙⠄⠠⠛⠁⢀⢔⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡈⠁⠈⠁⠉⡹⣽⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⡭⠔⣠⣪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⡒⠫⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣶⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⠁⢀⠑⠓⠫⢝⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⠊⢉⣄⠈⠪⡫⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣢⢤⣀⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⠠⠪⢝⡻⣷⡀⠊⡪⡻⣿ ⡫⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡊⢠⣿⣿⡫⠚⣊⣡⠶⢦⣤⣤⠶⠞⡛⠳⣌⠫⡻⡀⠈⡺⢿ ⠪⡪⡫⢟⡿⣕⠁⡫⠝⠊⡴⠋⠁⠁⠐⠁⠂⠈⠐⠈⠈⠐⠐⠳⠄⠹⣇⠪⡻ ⠄⠁⠊⠕⡪⢕⢀⠞⠁⠄⣁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣠⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄⠆⢷⠕⡪ ⣄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⢬⣮⣕⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⡪⡵⠄⠁⠄⠈ ⣿⣄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡣⠄⠁⣷⣯⣵⣢⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣠⣬⣟⡕⠄⠁⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⠻⣿⣾⣯⣪⣔⢄⣀⣀⣀⡠⣶⣾⣽⣿⠃⠄⢀⣼⣿ ❤️🤍💙GEORGE FLOYD 1973 - 2020❤️🤍💙 ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 I CAN'T BREATHE ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 BLACK LIVES MATTER ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
March 2021

IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE

twitchquotes: BUG TEST 🐛 IF YOU TOUCH THE BUG, PROGRAM HEARTHSTONE ⎝ Jebaited
twitch chat
June 2017

Hearthstone

Chat Test

Bear hands up

⡰⠴⠢⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢙⣐⡰⢺ ⠺⢀⡃⠋⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⠠⠤⠄⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠸⣿⠟⢸ ⡤⣿⣿⡧⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠰⠋⢀⠄⠄⡀⠤⣶⡾⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⡇ ⠑⠉⠉⠁⠅⢰⡦⠉⡙⡽⠄⠄⠜⠛⠴⠊⠄⡀⢼⣧⡀⠅⠄⠄⠄⡌⠄⠄⠄⢴ ⢰⠄⠄⠄⠘⡌⢷⡄⢁⠁⠈⠄⠄⢀⡃⣠⣾⣆⣼⣿⣧⡗⠄⠄⢰⡅⠄⠄⠘⢿ ⠸⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⢄⠙⡎⡇⡦⠄⠄⠈⠹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡇⠄⢀⣇⠂⠄⠄⣌⢸ ⠄⡟⠄⠄⠄⠰⠼⢢⡳⣄⢀⡀⠂⠄⠄⠣⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⢱⢠⠞⠆⠄⠄⠄⠰⣾ ⠄⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠓⣟⢰⠁⠐⠄⠄⠄⠉⠑⠄⠄⢐⠊⠍⠉⠁⠄⠄⠐⠶⣪ ⠠⢾⡈⣄⡤⠄⠄⠄⠘⠘⠑⢡⡄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡬⢗⡎ ⠄⠬⢧⣄⠖⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠰⡝⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢈⣳⣭⡃⠆⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄▄▄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠁⠄ ⡀⢐⣛⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⢶⣰⢀⡢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄█░░▀▄⠄⠄⠁⡠⣟⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣧⣇⠊⢙⢣⡄⠄⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⢀⣙⠛⠨⡄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠿⢿⣲⠄⣁⡀⠄⠄▀▄░░▀▄⠄⠄⠐⠑⠾⢨⠆ ⠤⠖⠒⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠶⠦⠷⠁⣔⡯⠄⠄▄▀░░░░█⠄⠐⠖⠋⠄⢪⠄
March 2021

ForsenE Don't talk to me or my son ever again

twitchquotes: forsen1 forsen2 don't talk to me or my son ever again forsenE forsen3 forsen4
twitch chat
October 2016
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing