[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dex is Kripp's opponent

twitchquotes: "My apologies" Kripp's opponent emotes as he casts fireball on Kripp, ending Kripps arena run. "That guy was so lucky! He curved out every turn, had every answer and topdecked lethal!" Kripp sighs and loads up another arena run. His opponent closes his laptop and thinks "What a scrub. And now for the cherry on top" as his opponent walks out from the other room goes up to Kripp and licks Kripp's arm. "Good doggie" Kripp says "Here's a treat for a good doggie".
twitch chat
October 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Nyan Cat

________β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„______ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ_____ _______β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–„_ __β–„β–„___β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ_ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–„_ _β–€β–„β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–“β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆ_ _____β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–“β–„β–“β–’β–’β–ˆ ______β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–„β–€_ ____β–„β–€β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€___ ____β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_______β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€_β–€β–„β–„β–ˆ_____
November 2014

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Masturbation Notice from school

MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the pipes. Multiple pipes have become close to bursting due to the amount of excessive semen build-up. This will cost THOUSANDS of dollars coming from our funds to repair the damage caused by this Please masturbate in your own homes and at your own disposal If any discharge is discovered in the bathroom, it will be collected and analyzed to determine who it belongs to. If it is discovered that the discharge is yours, YOU will be fine $ 1,000 and be reported to proper authorities Thank you for your cooperation
March 2022

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city Start taking anti-depressants hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends) Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge The new suicidal collection from Lego City
December 2020

Lego City

Text-to-Speech Playing