[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Dance party

β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘β–Œβ–Œβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘XXβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014

I'm a teacher but I'm treated like I'm a streamer

twitchquotes: I'm a teacher, middle school ages, we have a gaming club in our school. Most of the kids are vocal about watching Twitch, who their favorite streamers are and when playing games the would suggest who to watch to get better at a game, e.g. watch Hashinshin to improve at League etc. Now when the kids come to the gaming club they no longer ask about games, they all just chant 'Miss, get your tits out, get your tits out, get your tits out for the lads' or 'Miss, I'll pay you a dollar to show me your feet' or 'Miss, how much too see your butthole' or 'Miss, I'll gift 50 subs if you get your tits out now' or 'Miss, the lads need those big juicy milf titties out' or 'Miss, get your tits out or I'll bring a gun to school tomorrow'. It's getting a bit tiresome, will Twich Tv ever do anything about this epidemic?
twitch chat
April 2021

So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020

Brofist and crofist

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a lawyer and I represent StrifeCro. I notice that your 'brofist' is strikingly similar to StrifeCro's 'crofist'. Given that StrifeCro owns the 'fisting' patent, I request that you immediately cease and desist from 'brofisting' any more subs, or my client will take you to court. Yours sincerely, Eddie Barristerino.
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?

Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a thread, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some of your "crew" and downvote my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life One, you are a talentless and unoriginal hack. And two, you wasted time trying to post other people's thoughts as your own while you could've been honing your skills to be actually creative instead of a thoughtless loser with a paste fetish.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing