[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Kripparrian... this Bro Fist is for you

twitchquotes: As he raises his "Bro Fist" gently against his cam, I raise my donger against my cam. I feel how for that moment, Kripparrian and I become one. My donger starts to shake, and I close my eyes, letting out a small moan as our "Bro Fists" e-touches. "Kripparrian.. this Bro Fist is for you" I whisper to myself. Kreygasm
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

MagicAmy copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey Reddit, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena deck and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Conceal (like how MagicAmy concealed her identity), Sap (like all of us were), or Vanish (like what MagicAmy is about to do)?
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie?

What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch...
August 2021

Navy Seal

forsenE

⢸⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣗⣂⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠫⢁⣥⣤⣤⡁⠢⣤⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠻⣿⠿⠿⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡇⠛⠉⠍⠉⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣶⣤⡠⠄⠼⠗⠄⢠⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⢛⠛⠥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣅⣐⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣊⣁⠑⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣤⣔⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣽⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⡿⠁⣠⡾⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣗⠜⠋⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⣼⣷⣦⣤⠭⠍⠉⠙⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⣠⡿⢟⢿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠓⠒⠄⠄⠄⠰⠊⠓⠂⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⣿⣿⣿⣁⣠⣤⡀⡄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠂⠊⠈⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2019
Forsen

Emote

Text-to-Speech Playing