[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
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Trump shrug

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠟⠟⠟⠿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠉⠈⡀⠄⠔⠄⠅⣐⠐⡄⠄⠂⠄⠠⠑⡝⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢨⠠⡐⢈⠄⡅⠐⠨⢐⠁⠃⠔⠡⣂⢅⢊⠸⡐⠄⠁⢟⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢣⢑⡕⢄⠥⡡⢊⠌⣒⢔⡪⣖⢥⡣⣎⢞⢜⢜⢢⡁⠂⡈⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡼⡽⡮⡳⡡⢨⠱⠹⢰⠹⡚⡸⡘⡜⠜⡜⡜⡐⠡⡘⠐⣜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⡯⣯⢏⠪⡰⠔⡢⢡⢣⢕⣜⣼⣶⣮⡺⢐⠆⠅⠕⣌⠠⣯⢿⣿⢿⣿⣾ ⣿⣿⣯⢯⢺⢪⢑⣀⣦⣾⣿⣿⠁⠙⡿⢿⠵⡛⣚⠶⢘⡢⡘⡆⣿⢟⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣣⣷⡑⣼⡾⡺⣘⡬⢹⠠⠐⢀⠂⠉⠉⠄⠄⠅⢌⢊⢎⢧⡫⠣⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣗⣗⢍⠊⠉⠁⠄⡷⡀⣀⢄⡑⠦⣆⣆⡢⡡⡊⢆⠕⠍⢞⢀⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣾⣗⣳⢕⢔⢐⢤⡳⡺⣿⣿⢟⠋⠈⠌⡛⣷⠳⡡⡑⢜⠌⠄⣊⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢝⢗⣝⢾⢏⣣⣱⣩⡽⠴⠖⡓⡚⠩⢃⠯⡪⢪⢪⢽⡪⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣅⢕⢵⡑⡉⠏⢷⢵⡶⠶⠗⠭⠘⡈⢘⢞⢜⢵⣫⡚⡮⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣧⣻⣮⢮⡪⡀⠑⢔⢈⢄⡐⡀⠢⢅⢇⢧⢗⣗⢇⣿⣽⣾⣿⣿ ⠿⠻⣛⡽⡽⢿⢻⣖⡽⣷⣘⢯⣦⡥⣟⣾⣾⣾⣽⣽⣯⣷⣻⣮⡳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡞⡯⡯⡿⣻⢵⣻⢿⣿⣾⣞⣮⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣷⠟⠄⢿⣽⣻⡺⡽ ⡣⡫⡪⡫⡺⣹⢞⣟⡿⣿⡪⡛⢞⢟⣿⣾⣿⣿⣻⣿⣽⠟⠁⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣟⢿
March 2020

Biden transplants his brain into the United States' neural network database

thats very true. if you vote trump, there is no nuance in that little flipping nugget of a brain of yours. you are a simpleton, comparable to the gum stuck on the heel of my shoe- dirtying an institution which needs to be scraped clean. thankfully, your time has come. the antics end with joe biden, who has squandered the far-right and united a nation, and once he transplants his beautiful old slimy man brain into the United States' neural network database (which is encrypted and connected to the internet, along with google's whole database, so yes, he WILL know what you're doing) we can finally live in a safe country.
July 2022

Politics

Joe Biden

Donald Trump

I sexually idenfity as VapeNation

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as VapeNation . Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling the air with the fattest rips. People say to me that a person being VapeNation is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install cloudchasers, coils, and a battery on my body for the perfect vape. From now on I want you guys to call me “Lit” and respect my right to rip the fattest vapes. If you can’t accept me you’re a vapiphobe and need to check your VapeNation privileges
twitch chat
March 2016

VapeNation

I sexually Identify as

Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian. Its Becky from the Sesame Street Celebrity Recruitment Department. Although "E-Sports" has indeed become mainstream, we unfortunately have declined your application to be on an episode of Sesame Street. We have already filmed the episode where "K" is the letter of the day. Thank you for your interest.
twitch chat
October 2015
Kripp

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
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