[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesusโ€™s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Godโ€™s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. ๐Ÿ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Chat has just turned into a cesspool

twitchquotes: At this point in the night the chat has just turned into a cesspool. There is no point in trying to have a meaningful discussion with anyone, it's just copy pasta this PJ Salt that. And the worst part is no one in the chat knows how to play the game so they just give ass advice. If this gets copied I will leave.
twitch chat
August 2017

I hate Twitch Chat

Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks

twitchquotes: Sir you have been found with Rocket League hacks. A SWAT team is on the way to your location. Make sure the door is open, otherwise they are ready to break it down. Don't destroy any evidence and don't contact your accomplices! Prepare disks, flash drives and any other multimedia devices containing illegal materials, proving your criminality. Be prepared to answer the questions during your interrogation! Cooperate and don't deny the charges against you.
twitch chat
June 2019

Twin Towers

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
April 2018

Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’DIDDLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’SPAMLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’DOODLYโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–
September 2016

Classic

Oh god I want xqc so bad

twitchquotes: Oh god I want xqc so bad ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿ’ฆ he's so smart ๐Ÿค“ ๐Ÿ“š and cute ๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿ™ˆ I would take him to my apartment and kiss him ๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ˜˜ lick him ๐Ÿ‘… ๐Ÿ˜› and finger him ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘Œ I would fuck him ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ’ฆ then I'd get him pregnant ๐Ÿคฐ ๐Ÿ‘ถ and we'd raise our own little baby ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘ฆ and play fortnite with him ๐ŸŽฎ โŒจ๏ธ xd
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing