[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

Type !69 to activate

twitchquotes: ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ imGlitch You've been gifted a sub. Type !69 to activate ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
twitch chat
July 2020

Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

AYAYA star

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡴⠶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠶⢦⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⡟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠈⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⠁⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠸⣇⠉⠻⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⠟⠉⣸⠇⠄⠄⠄⠹⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡆⠄⠄⠙⠷⣦⣴⠾⠋⠄⠄⢰⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣧⠄ ⢰⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢀⣤⡾⠋⠙⢷⣤⡀⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡆ ⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣷⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠟⠉⢻⡄⠄ AYAYA ⠄⣾⡟⠉⠻⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⡀⠄⢀⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⠁⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿ ⠸⣧⠾⠿⠷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢾⣷⠶⠶⠶⠶⣾⡷⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠾⠿⠷⣼⠇ ⠄⢻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡟⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⠄⠄⣾⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣇⣸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠳⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⠞⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠳⠶⣦⣤⣼⣧⣤⣴⠶⠞⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Weebs

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing