[Copypasta] To be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand The Bible

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand The Bible. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jesus’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike The Bible truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in God’s existential catchphrase "Never trust anyone completely but God." which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as King James's genius wit unfolds itself on the pages. What fools.. how I pity them. πŸ˜‚ And yes by the way, I DO have a Bible tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix.

So me and my bros wanted to once and for all test the hypothesis that we are all living in a matrix. We came to the conclusion that a matrix could only run so smoothly because of our predictable behaviour. For example, if you eat it is likely that you swallow your food. Therefore, the matrix would be ready to initiate a digestion program. But if a group of people did something unpredictable, the matrix would shut down. So what we did is we randomly started gang banging each other. The matrix could have never predicted that because that is like super gay. But nothing happened (matrix-wise). But this is not point why am I writing about this. My friends now want to do the gang-banging shit again and I am not sure how to respond to that.
December 2021

Regi storms in the TSM meeting room

twitchquotes: In the TSM meeting room, Regi stormed in with the fury of God by his side. As everyone tried to flee, the Monkey King channeled cyclone effectively knocking the new imports back to China, he pulled his staff out of his ass and knocked Tactical back to Team Liquid. Spica and Huni manage to escape, but they are greeted at the exit, a contract enticing them to stay for 100 FTX bitcoins. They choose to stay.
twitch chat
March 2022

League of Legends

Smoking Frog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘ β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„(_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ…_Μ… () ΰΈ”ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‰ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ΰΉ‡ . β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
May 2017

This is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency

twitchquotes: Hi this is agent Kappachino from the Kappa agency. I would like to inform you that we have detected the KPM (Kappa Per Minute) to be far below the minimum level of 100 KPM. Please fix this by typing Kappa or Kappa agents will be dispatched to donger this stream
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022
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