[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I fucking hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the mousefucker didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote β€œyou’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.
twitch chat
May 2020

Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome

My name is Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome! Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? That’s right, Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome!
April 2021

Ultra EDM dance

twitchquotes: ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›β”—(-_- )β”“β”—(-_-)┛┏(-_-) ┏(-_-)┓┏(-_-)β”›
twitch chat
March 2016
Ultra

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Darude Sandstorm

twitchquotes: Kreygasm DUDUDUDUDUDUU Kreygasm
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing