[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Hearthstone Devs change a lightbulb

twitchquotes: How many Hearthstone Devs does it take to change a lightbulb???? It doesn't matter, because they don't know how to balance the ladder.
twitch chat
March 2017

Hearthstone

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad?

What the fuck are you doing in my fucking swamp you little Farquaad? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the brogres, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on your anus, and have ogre 300 confirmed layers. I am trained in making early 2000's pop cultural references, and am the top ogre in the entire far far away armed forces. You are nothing to me but another Drek. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which have never been seen in Dreamworks, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that dreck to me over the swamp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of fairy tale creatures across Far Far Away and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, Farquaad. The storm that will end your fucking life. It's fucking ogre, Donkey. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare asscheeks. Not only am I shrextensively trained in onionade combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Fairy Godmothers Factory and I will use it to its full shrextent to wipe your miserable little ass of of the face of meh swamp, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn Rumpelstiltskin. I will slay abuse all ogre you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, Pinocchio.
August 2021

Shrek

Navy Seal

Anime girl 6

⠄⠄⢿⣇⠄⠄⠘⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢧⡲⣿⢷⢦⡀ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⠄⠄⠄⢙⢞⢿⣿⢹⢿⣦⢏⣱⢿⠘⣿⣝⠹⢿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣏⣆⢿⣿⡞⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⡀⠄⠄⠈⣾⡸⡏⢸⡾⣴⣿⣿⣶⣼⣎⢵⢀⡛⣿⣷⡙⡻⢻⡴⠨⠨⠖⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⣧⢀⡴⠊⢹⠁⡇⠈⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣷⣜⡳⣝⢧⢃⢣⣼⢁⠘⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⡇⠄⣠⠔⠚⣅⠄⢰⣶⣦⣭⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠿⣷⡧⠄⣘⣟⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢷⠎⠄⠄⠄⣼⣦⠻⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡾⢱⣿⡏⠸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⡄⠄⡄⠄⣿⢧⢗⠌⠻⣇⠿⠿⣸⣿⣿⡟⡐⣿⠟⢰⣇⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡆⠄⠃⢠⠏⣤⢀⢢⡰⣭⣛⡉⠩⠭⡅⣾⢳⡴⡀⢸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⡟⣽⠼⢀⡕⢀⠘⠸⢮⡳⡻⡍⡷⡆⠤⠤⠭⢸⢳⣷⢸⡟⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣴⣿⢫⢞⣵⢏⡞⠄⢸⠄⣛⣗⠩⠄⣰⣚⠒⠂⣀⡀⢸⢸⣿⣧⠇⡼⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⣾⢟⡴⢫⡾⣱⢟⠄⠄⢸⠄⢈⡓⡮⡦⡬⠽⡠⠄⠔⠄⢸⠈⣿⣿⡄⣷⢹⣆⠄⠄ ⡿⢁⠞⢀⣿⢣⠇⣿⠄⠄⠸⢀⢳⢣⣗⣿⡇⡔⠄⠔⠄⠄⢠⠄⠹⣿⣷⡝⣧⢻⣆
ascii art
December 2018

Weebs

The year is 2035, you buy g fuel with doge coin

The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla
December 2021

Cryptocurrency

TOTEMIC MIGHT

twitchquotes: ◥█̆◤ TOTEMIC MIGHT ◥█̆◤
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing