[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Allu is a tactical genius

twitchquotes: Allu is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”going B, but then benching AleksiB”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”going A, but then going home without any wins”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.
twitch chat
October 2020

CSGO

Be the better man and stop the spam

twitchquotes: I don't understand all these spammer hooligans. Its as if the pinnacle of human innovation has resulted in the creation of these inbred spammers with nothing better to do in their life other than copy and paste what the person above them wrote. Whats worse is the people using scripts to spam. Be the better man and stop the spam. Thanks.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

Police clearing out a homeless encampment

On my way into the office today I saw the police clearing out a homeless encampment under a bridge, forcing them into the cold and rain. I keep playing it over in my head and haven’t been able to focus on work all day because of my erection.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Hafu likes money a lot

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Hello! My name is Hafu! (◡‿◡✿) My boyfriend just broke up with me! He said he doesn't like looking at my beef curtains and my chest is too flat. (◕‿-) But it's okay! I will sob uncontrollably on stream. My viewers will feel sorry for me and give me lots of money. I like money a lot. (｡♥‿♥｡)
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
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