[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
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In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

OURcraft?!?!?

Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜œ Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
December 2020

Emoji Pasta

Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: เผผ โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ เผฝ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. เผผ โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ เผฝ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

SPAM THIS CHILI TO HELP OUT PHILLY

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ SPAM ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ THIS ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ CHILI ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ TO ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ HELP ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ OUT ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ PHILLY ๐ŸŒถ๏ธ
twitch chat
July 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

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