[Copypasta] copy: pastad

PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⣶⡶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡦⡟⠻⠛⠙⠉⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⠛⣾⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠽⢿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⠞⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠆⠄ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⣻⡃⠄ ⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣧⠄ ⠄⢿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⢰⡇⠄ ⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⠉⢉⣿⠋⣟⢻⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⡀⢳⡗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢳⣷⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⠄⠈⠙⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⢿⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢢⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣽⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣄⢀⠄⣀⣝⢻⣿⡿⠒⣀⣀⣸⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⣤⠁⠙⠎⢻⣄⠄⠄⣸⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠶⢦⣄⣀⣣⠴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

ascii art

February 2020

How I got into Harvard

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart.

December 2020

Rick and Morty

You kids call that a copypasta?

twitchquotes: You kids call that a copypasta? What do you whippersnappers even know about shitposting? You just go to that Twitch Quotes website and copy any kind of crap that is posted there every minute. Well let me tell you: back in my day, we used to craft our own copypasta by hand, full of love and care, using only the freshest memes from Kripp's stream, then shared it with everyone. We didn't simply copy any crap that appeared on our screens. And don't even think of copying this you lazy millenials.

twitch chat

October 2018

Kripp

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

August 2021

I'm not your typical 12 year old

twitchquotes: I'm twelve but everyone says I am very mature for my age and say I'm basically 16. Also, I love real bands like AC/DC and punk rock like green day so I'm not your typical 12 year old.

twitch chat

December 2018

[Copypasta] copy: pastad

PogChamp

How I got into Harvard

Rick and Morty

You kids call that a copypasta?

Why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911

I'm not your typical 12 year old

Confirm Subscription