I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Based? Based on what?
Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
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Riot's MIGHT SPAGHETTI CODE of elo hell
twitchquotes:
IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MI瞳蛣G虆虅铜艇虘虌蛦H虄虅叹虄通蛼T虉虗通虌蛫彤Y虓虅蛣 通虆蛣S虄停蛬蜅桐P虆童虋虖虒A蛺虙G炭HE虃虗蛯T蛡炭虘瞳T亭彤艇I叹蛫庭虌蛫 虄虒C挺探O同挺D處虖E蛫通虋童蛺停虇 蜅蛬虊虇挺探o虜虘虗蛫虄虇f虛蛯同 虘桐停亭el虊o虙同蜅虤亭 亭童蛯桐h炭亭e蛼虌虙虅l酮處叹虂蛫l虁蛬虤虋 has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times
IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MI瞳蛣G虆虅铜艇虘虌蛦H虄虅叹虄通蛼T虉虗通虌蛫彤Y虓虅蛣 通虆蛣S虄停蛬蜅桐P虆童虋虖虒A蛺虙G炭HE虃虗蛯T蛡炭虘瞳T亭彤艇I叹蛫庭虌蛫 虄虒C挺探O同挺D處虖E蛫通虋童蛺停虇 蜅蛬虊虇挺探o虜虘虗蛫虄虇f虛蛯同 虘桐停亭el虊o虙同蜅虤亭 亭童蛯桐h炭亭e蛼虌虙虅l酮處叹虂蛫l虁蛬虤虋 has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times
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Riot Games
Classic
League of Legends
Singlee and ready to Minglee
twitchquotes:
SINGLEE AND READY TO MINGLEE
SINGLEE AND READY TO MINGLEE
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Classic
OVERCLOWNFIDENCE
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
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