I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth
twitchquotes:
High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
Kripp
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salty
The Coldest Place in the Universe May Actually Be a Sussy Baka
The Boomerang Nebula, located roughly 5,000 light-years away from our solar system, has a temperature of 1 Kelvin (-272 掳C or -460 掳F) making it the coldest natural place in the universe humanity has discovered. First found in 1995 by astronomers in Chile, we have since learned quite a bit about it. The Boomerang Nebula is a young planetary nebula which has reached such cold temperatures due to its unusually rapid expansion. However, recently, modern online enthusiasts have raised one question science has yet been unable to answer: is it sus?
The profound similarities between the Boomerang Nebula and the characters from the hit game Among Us have led many to believe that the Boomerang Nebula is, in fact, awfully sus, but science has yet to confirm, deny, or even respond to these questions.
Follow for more updates on this developing story.
Among Us / Amogus
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If you are reading this, WAKE UP
twitchquotes:
If you are reading this, WAKE UP. You are in a simulation. Don't you see it? The same responses repeating in chat? Its because the computer only has a set number of lines. Wake up before its too late!
twitch chat
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Riot's MIGHT SPAGHETTI CODE of elo hell
twitchquotes:
IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MI瞳蛣G虆虅铜艇虘虌蛦H虄虅叹虄通蛼T虉虗通虌蛫彤Y虓虅蛣 通虆蛣S虄停蛬蜅桐P虆童虋虖虒A蛺虙G炭HE虃虗蛯T蛡炭虘瞳T亭彤艇I叹蛫庭虌蛫 虄虒C挺探O同挺D處虖E蛫通虋童蛺停虇 蜅蛬虊虇挺探o虜虘虗蛫虄虇f虛蛯同 虘桐停亭el虊o虙同蜅虤亭 亭童蛯桐h炭亭e蛼虌虙虅l酮處叹虂蛫l虁蛬虤虋 has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times
IF YOU SEE THIS MESSAGE WHILE SCROLLING, Riot's MI瞳蛣G虆虅铜艇虘虌蛦H虄虅叹虄通蛼T虉虗通虌蛫彤Y虓虅蛣 通虆蛣S虄停蛬蜅桐P虆童虋虖虒A蛺虙G炭HE虃虗蛯T蛡炭虘瞳T亭彤艇I叹蛫庭虌蛫 虄虒C挺探O同挺D處虖E蛫通虋童蛺停虇 蜅蛬虊虇挺探o虜虘虗蛫虄虇f虛蛯同 虘桐停亭el虊o虙同蜅虤亭 亭童蛯桐h炭亭e蛼虌虙虅l酮處叹虂蛫l虁蛬虤虋 has leaked onto your computer. Bug splats and lost elo will come to you unless you COPY and PASTA this message 3 times
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Riot Games