[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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Ram Ranch Hearthstone

twitchquotes: Jebaited 22 Murlocs in the PJSalt at Tavern Brawl! Big hard mind blasts wanting to be RENOUNCED! 22 Armorsmiths wanting to be pinged! Holy Novas in the PJSalt at Tavern Brawl! On their haHAA wanting to topdeck Krippo salt! Tavern Brawl really rocks! Jebaited
twitch chat
October 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

PewDiePie saying the N word

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣭⡇⢽⣿⣿⠏⣀⣶⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡛⠈⠛⠁⠙⠉⠛⠿⠛⢟⡿⣿⣷⡝⢿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡹⠄⢀⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡍⠹⡿⠆⠙⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢫⣷⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣏⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡘⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣹⣏⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣼⣋⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠈⠛⢿⠏⢙⠈⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠹⠟⠛⠉⠡⠿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⢀⡆⣰⠟⠷⣤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⠎⠄⠃⢀⠞⠉⢳⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀
December 2018

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Cute / Satisfied cat

⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣩⣉⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣶⣕⣈⠹⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣛⢋⣰⠣⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⡝⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⢏⣿⣿⣋⣀⣈⣻⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣿⡐⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢩⣝⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠿⠦⠀⠸⠿⣻⣿⡄⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⣿⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018
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