[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Listen up here c9 police

twitchquotes: Listen up here c9 police, if the enemy team capture the point and nobody gets in it to stop them then it is scientifically classified as a c9 so stop trying to ruin everybodys fun and get a life
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May 2018
OverwatchLeague

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MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
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April 2020
Kripp

Alinity poem

twitchquotes: There is a cat in the vicinity. I summon Alinity. She yeets the cat into infinity. And then feeds the cat vodka martini. Takes some booty picture accidentally. Sells couple of her panty. Takes a twitch staff's virginity. Still no ban apparently.
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November 2019

MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

Fortnite

Globglogabgalab

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠠⡄⢠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣰⣿⢡⣶⣼⣿⡿⠋⠙⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⢋⠀⢻⡟⠐⠻⣇⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣟⣛⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠛⠛⣶⣾⣠⣅⣀⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡄⠀⣯⣭⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣦⢠⣿⡟⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⡟⣿⡿⠁⠀⢶⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠈⠁⢀⡤⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⡀⣠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⡓⣦⠀ ⠀⠐⠋⠛⠉⠙⣿⣿⣯⡉⠉⠙⠳⢿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⡏⠁⠈⠉⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀
ascii art
September 2021
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