[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Tricky the Clown (Madness)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⡤⠤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠻⢟⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠤⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⡶⠴⠞⠳⠋⢉⠽⢷⡒⢲⠇⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠁⣄⣠⣀⣄⢀⠀⠀⠈⢰⢎⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣄⠀⢀⣀⣀⡴⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⡖⠤⣈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢹⠉⠀⢧⠀⡞⢉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡋⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠈⠻⢻⠈⠀⠈⡙⠻⠛⠻⠛⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⡰⡿⠁⡤⢎⢫⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⡁⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠶⠴⠦⢤⣠⠀⠀⢤⣰⠧⢾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣣⡗⠲⡋⣋⠹⢾⢙⣿ ⣿⢿⠁⠀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⣆⢰⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⡄⠀⢸⡀⢳⡠⠻⢄⣉⣱⠝⣿ ⡏⠈⠁⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⡆⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣡⠀⠀⢳⣞⠛⢦⣤⣧⣼⣾⣿ ⣧⠀⢰⡇⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⣀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⢹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣿⠀⠀⠀⢩⡿⠾⠷⠛⠉⠈⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠘⠓⠲⢶⣄⡴⠃⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠉⢩⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣿⠲⠞⠋⠀⢀⡜⠉⠁⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠽⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡘⢷⡿⢦⣤⣼⣣⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣾⠿⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠤⣀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

hackermans

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⣵⣾⣿⣿⡶⠦⠭⢁⠩⢭⣭⣵⣶⣶⡬⣄⣀⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠩⠶⠚⠻⠟⠳⢶⣮⢫⣥⠶⠒⠒⠒⠒⠆⠐⠒ ⠄⢠⣾⢇⣿⣿⣶⣦⢠⠰⡕⢤⠆⠄⠰⢠⢠⠄⠰⢠⠠⠄⡀⠄⢊⢯⠄⡅⠂⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠘⢼⠬⠆⠄⢘⠨⢐⠄⢘⠈⣼⡄⠄⠄⡢⡲⠄⠂⠠⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣥⣀⡁⠄⠘⠘⠘⢀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣦⣁⠙⠃⠄⠃⠐⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣶⣾⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⣥⣬⣭⣛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣏⣙⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣍⣙⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣩⣶⠄ ⣛⣛⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣙⠿⢿⣶⣶⣭⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠻⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⠁⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⢙⡻⠿⠿⣷⣤⣝⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⣡⣴⣿ ⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⡑⡿⢻⢻⠲⢆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⡴⢻⢋⠻⣟⠈⠿⠿ ⣿⡿⡿⣿⢷⢤⠄⡔⡘⣃⢃⢰⡦⡤⡤⢤⢤⢤⠒⠞⠳⢸⠃⡆⢸⠄⠟⠸⠛⢿ ⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸
November 2021

Pepe

The LoL player couldn't deny

twitchquotes: A Dota player and a LoL player walks into a bar. The Dota gamer turns around to the LoL gamer saying, "LoL sucks!" The LoL player couldn't deny. BrokeBack
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March 2016

Dota 2

Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty?

twitchquotes: 4Head Hey Europoops, who built the statue of liberty? NOT YOU EleGiggle STAY POOR EU EleGiggle
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February 2016
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Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name

twitchquotes: Our Salt Lord who art in Canada. Kripparian be thy name. Thy Bad RNG come. Thy topdecks be done. On Arena as it is in Ranked. Give us this day our daily rant. And forgive us our button presses as we forgive those who don't press theirs against us. For thine is the never lucky. The bullsh*t RNG. Forever and ever. Ameno.
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April 2017
Kripp

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