[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, this is Juan Jose Manuel Torres Esteban Rodriguez Ochoa Martinez Lopez Jr

twitchquotes: нello ĸrιpp, jυan joѕé мanυel тorreѕ eѕтeвan rodrιgυez ocнoa мarтιnez lopez jr. нere. ι no lιĸe yoυr cнaт. pleaѕe ғrιendѕ, no мore ѕpaммerιno ιn cнaтerιno oĸ aмιgo? or elѕe ι нop вorderιno. no cappυccιno.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times

FUCK YOU. I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. GET FUCKING ORIGINAL. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. Just because you don't agree with me DOES NOT HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH PARTIES. What the fuck. Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I'll stick to my wine and cheese dinners, you know, REAL FUCKING PARTIES. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet. You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. WELL I'M FUCKING tired. of it. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said. Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. I will go STRAIGHT TO THE FUCKING TOP and then I'll be the one laughing while you beg for my mercy. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony? I'll say "You must be fun at parties." So yeah, If you must know, I am pretty fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick.
August 2021

MagicAmy copypasta

twitchquotes: Hey Reddit, I'm drafting a Rogue Arena deck and I'm 29 cards in. Should I pick Conceal (like how MagicAmy concealed her identity), Sap (like all of us were), or Vanish (like what MagicAmy is about to do)?
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

GUYS PLEASE HELP! I NEED HELP!

twitchquotes: WHEN I SAT DOWN ⬇️ TO PEE 💦 THERE WAS A BUG 🐞 IN THE TOILET 🚽 BUT I THOUGHT 💭 IT WAS DROWNED 🌊👻 ❓❔❓❔ N WHEN I GOT UP ⬆️ IT WASN'T ❌ THERE 👉 IM SOBBING 😭 IS IT IN MY FUCKING 🍆 BUTTHOLE 🍑⭕ WHERE IS IT⁉️⁉️⁉️
twitch chat
August 2019

Emoji Pasta

forsenCD PICK A CARD

twitchquotes: forsenCD PICK A CARD ✨ forsenCD ANY CARD ✨ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? ✨ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE ✨
twitch chat
November 2019
OfflineTV
Text-to-Speech Playing