[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Exercise caution and stay away from the Subs

twitchquotes: SECURITY ALERT: A Romanian man, roughly 6'5", skeleton thin, with black hair and scraggly beard has been seen riding the NYC Sub train and violently "Bro-Fisting" passengers. He's accompanied by a short Asian man dressed as Hitler who reputedly cuts out the tongue of anyone who refuses to give him $5. Exercise caution and stay way from the Subs!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp Fapparian

twitchquotes: After the execution of Cattarian, orchestrated by House Fapparian, Rania Cattarian of House Cattarian vowed to take revenge on her husband and the king of Twitcheros, Kripp Fapparian. Rania infiltrated Kripp's Landing to sprinkle PJSalt on Kripp's foodies during the royal streaming session. Kripp's last words were, "***, I'M NEVER LUCKY!"
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat

twitchquotes: Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat and apron onto the beer-stained couch. He turns on the computer monitor which nearly blinds him, and light floods the room, revealing the months worth of pizza boxes and beers strewn about the floor. He opens Microsoft Edge. His fingers stick to the keyboard as he types "Kripp's stream" into Bing search, ready for another successful day of roasting Kripp.
twitch chat
January 2019
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis team's salary is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œReynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9's” β˜‘ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" β˜‘ β€œThey bribed the only player that would turncoat” β˜‘ "They had the perfect negotiator" β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing Reynad could do” β˜‘ β€œI backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime!

twitchquotes: α••β”Œβ—•α—œβ—•β”α•— Dongers in the morning, dongers in the evening, dongers at suppertime. If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime! α••β”Œβ—•α—œβ—•β”α•—
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing