Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Before I know it, the entire neighbourhood is soaked
twitchquotes:
Hi, Reckfull here, from noLife gaming. This is just a friendly reminder that whenever I see 
or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duck™ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
or something similar, I lose control of my bodily functions and go into a mad, crazed state of unrelenting sexual frenzy! Before I know it, the entire neighborhood is soaked, and worst of all, I have to order a new Mr. Duck™ every time! So please, remember to keep your children at least 100 yards from my property, and try to keep the to a minimum, for everyone's sake. Thanks!
twitch chat
Reckful
Frog of Ice
twitchquotes:
Ａｎｄ ｔｈｅｎ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｃｌｏｕｄｓ ｏｆ ｃｙｂｅｒ ｓｐａｃｅ， ａ ｃｈｉｌｌ ｗｉｎｄ ｂｌｅｗ ｕｐｏｎ ａ ｍｅｒｅ Ｐａｓｔｅｒ ｐｌｅｂ， ｉｔ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｆｒｏｇ ｏｆ ｉｃｅ， ａｎｄ ｈｅ ｕｎｖｅｉｌｅｄ ｕｐｏｎ ｈｉｍ ｔｈｅ ｒｅｖｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓ． ｔｈｅ ｒｅｖｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓ ｆｏｒｅｔｏｌｄ ｏｆ ａ ｎｅｗ ｐａｔｃｈ， ａ ｓａｖｉｏｒ． ａ ｍｅｓｓｉａｈ， ｔｈｅ ｒｉｓｅ ｏｆ ａ ｎｅｗ ｈｅｒｏ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｄｏｗｎｆａｌｌ ｏｆ ｏｔｈｅｒｓ． Ｔｈｅ ｍｅｒｅ ｐｌｅｂ＇ｓ ｆｅｅｔ ｎｅａｒｌｙ ｃｏｌｌａｐｓｅｄ ｕｎｄｅｒ ｈｉｍ ａｓ ｈｅ ｗａｓ ｔｈｕｎｄｅｒｓｔｒｕｃｋ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｋｎｏｗｌｅｄｇｅ ａｎｄ ｈｅ ｒａｎ ｗｉｔｈ ｗｈａｔ ｅｖｅｒ ｂｒｅａｔｈ ｗａｓ ｗｉｔｈｉｎ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｓｐｒｅａｄ ｔｈｅ ｇｏｏｄ ｎｅｗｓ．
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SingSing
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Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat
twitchquotes:
Tanner throws his disheveled red McDonald's hat and apron onto the beer-stained couch. He turns on the computer monitor which nearly blinds him, and light floods the room, revealing the months worth of pizza boxes and beers strewn about the floor. He opens Microsoft Edge. His fingers stick to the keyboard as he types "Kripp's stream" into Bing search, ready for another successful day of roasting Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Tanner from High School
Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth
According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.