[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Have your heard of the popular hit game among us?

Have your heard of the popular hit game among us? It’s a really cool game where 1-3 imposters try to kill off the crewmates, while the crew has to finish their tasks or vote off the imposters to win. It’s 5 dollars on steam and other consoles but it is free on App Store and Google Play.
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Trollge / TrollDespair emote

⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2021

Die spider!

twitchquotes: ༼ ಠل͟ಠ༽︻デ=一 DIE SPIDER /ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็╲/\╭(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)╮/\╱ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็\
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
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