[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
March 2021

Bring on the PLEBOLUTION

twitchquotes: Dear subs, I may be a pleb but I am a human being. Please stop taking out your BDSM fantasies of caging us to satisfy your sexual frustration. Bring on the PLEBOLUTION แ•™(ุจ_ุจ)แ•—
twitch chat
August 2015
Trump

plebs vs subs

Red sus. Red suuuus

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Master Hand

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โ €โ €โ ˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ Ÿโ ›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโข€โก€โ €โ €โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โขนโก‡โ €โ ‰โ ™โ ‹โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โ ‰โ €โ ™โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ —โขคโฃคโฃดโ €โ โ €โ ˜โ ‹โ ฐโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ‹โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โข˜โฃฟโฃฟ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โ ›โฃฟโฃฟโ „โ ˆโ ›โ ƒโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขจโฃฟโ ‹โ €โ €โ €โ  โฃ„โ €โฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟ โฃงโฃคโ คโ €โ €โ €โ ˆโขฟโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก†โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ‰โ ‰โ ›โขฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃคโฃคโฃคโฃ€โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โ €โ €โข†โก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ 
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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