[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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valorant is a child game

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twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ YOU CAME TO THE WRONG DONGERHOOD ༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º༼ ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽ºل͟º ༽
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Imaqtpie submits his Pocket Pick

twitchquotes: Hi Mr Santana. Marc Merrill here. Your recent submission to our 'Pocket Pick' video series left us scratching our chins. Whilst we agree that pepperoni has a nice "twang", the video was supposed to be about your favorite champion, NOT your favorite Hot Pocket. We would appreciate it if you could remake the video, thanks.
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March 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

twitchquotes: 𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓭. 𝓥𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓫𝓵𝓾𝓮. 𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓷 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓯*𝓰𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓴 𝓶𝔂 𝓭*𝓬𝓴
twitch chat
November 2014
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