[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me?

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper HUH k ResidentSleeper I'm really strong right now ResidentSleeper Wow, that ACTUALLY killed me? What the fuck ResidentSleeper We played that so bad ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Dragon

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣲⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠖⠋⢀⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠜⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠊⠀⠀⡠⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠊⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⠚⠁⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠤⠖⠈⠀⠀⢀⡜⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠓⠲⢤⣸⠒⣊⣭⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⢿⡶⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠎⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⢀⡠⠔⢊⡥⢺⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠎⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠁⣠⠞⠁⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠃⠀⡠⠊⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡊⠁⠁⠀⢊⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣉⣓⣦⡤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡤⠊⠁⠸⠀⠀⠀⡠⡖⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢉⡩⠭⠒⢋⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠛⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠤⣀⡀⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⡰⠚⢧⠉⠒⠒⠮⠽⣾⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠁⡠⣖⠂⠀⠀⠀⡠⠋⠉⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠁⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠙⢌⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⠐⠁⣀⡠⠔⠋⣀⣀⡴⠚⠓⡶⣞⣉⣀⣀⡠⢤⠇⠀⠀⠀⢰⣃⡀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⣀⣠⡊⠁⡀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⠑⢄⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣽⢻⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠞⠑⠦⠤⠤⠤⠄⡸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⣆⠀⠀⠘⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⢏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠑⠦⠤⠤⠄⢲⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⣀⣹
July 2022

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

Scamaz had struck again

twitch chat
November 2015
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing