[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021

A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021

If Morbius has a trillion fans

If Morbius has a trillion fans I am one of them. If Morbius has 10 fans I am one of them. If Morbius has no fans, that I means I am no longer on Earth. If the Universe is against Morbius, I am against the Universe. I love Morbius until my last breath.
June 2022

Morbius

You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

G2, aka “Gold 2”

twitchquotes: G2, aka “Gold 2”, named after their players average skill level. They are currently the best team in EU and are best known for their inting midlaner, CRAPS, and their inability to defeat PVB, Vietnam’s worst team.
twitch chat
September 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing