[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
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Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
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Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon

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IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER!

twitchquotes: IM DELETING YOU, BROTHER! β–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 πŸ’―TrueπŸ’― Brothers of Islam are irreplaceable β˜ͺI could never delete you Brother!πŸ’– Send this to ten other πŸ‘ͺMujahideenπŸ‘ͺ who would give their lives for ο·²Allahο·² Or never get called ☁️Brother☁️ again If you get 0 Back: Juhanam for you πŸš«β€ βœ‘πŸš« 3 back: you're off the martyr listβ˜οΈπŸ’¦ 5 back: you have pleased Allah greatlyβ˜ͺπŸ’¦ 10+ back: JANAHο·²!ο·²!πŸ’•πŸ’•β˜ͺπŸ‘…πŸ‘…
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The salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound

twitchquotes: Dear reynard. I was hiking in the Amazon Rainforest the other day when I was bit by a snake. Miles from the nearest city, I thought my life was over as the venom slowly spread across my body. But then I used my 4G to open twitch and the salt from your stream sucked the venom out of my wound and saved my life. Thanks Reynad!
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Reynad

Feminist deck

twitchquotes: Kripp you should make a feminist deck with double equality and faceless manipulator (because all are equal), double stonetusk boar (because all men are swines) and a lot of beast synergy (because all men are animals). Thanks Kripp
twitch chat
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Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing