[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates

twitchquotes: Filthy degenerates throwing money at filthy degenerates behaviour. what filthy casuals you are throwing money and subbing at bad behaviour now i will cry on reddit and type a 10 page essay about how you guys are filthy degenerates because you support these stupid fistings and casual behaviour 凸 ◉_◔༽凸
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

Hey subs, it's me walking with my $5, don't mind me

twitchquotes: Hey subs! [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅5)̲̅$̲̅]ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ง It's me walking with my $5, don't mind me.
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

plebs vs subs

xqcP

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⡭⡩⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡞⣫⠎⢠⠊⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⣛⣛⠋⠒⠽⠏⠄⠐⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣷⣧⣧⣇⣨⣮⣦⣉⣦⢻⣦⡈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠄⠄⢠⡿⢿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠉⠉⠉⠛⠃⡀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣶⠶⠾⠿⠶⠿⠷⠚⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢀⣒⠉⢙⠻⠿⠄⢹⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⢸⡿⠟⠱⠾⠃⢼⡀⢐⣼⠇⠄⢀⡜⣿⣿⡀⠄⢹⣅⠉⠼⢃⡀⠄⠈⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⢸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠶⠂⣀⣴⣿⣷⢹⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣾⣿⠏⠁⠄⠄⣿ ⣇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⠟⣉⣹⣇⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠛⢛⠼⢿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⢰⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣉⡉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠛⢛⡛⠛⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⣛⣋⣭⣥⠖⠂⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣍⣉⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣉⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020
xQcOW

YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.
May 2021

Simps

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