[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Nyan Cat

________▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄______ _______█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░█_____ _______█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▀▄▒▒▒░░█▄▀▀▄_ __▄▄___█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▀▄▄▄▄▀▓▓▓█_ █▓▓█▄▄█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀▄_ _▀▄▄▓▓█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▄█▓▓▓▄▓▄█▓▓█_ _____▀▀█░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▓▒▒▓▄▓▓▄▓▓▄▓▒▒█ ______▄█░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▓▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▄▀_ ____▄▀▓▀█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████▀█▀▀___ ____█▄▄▀_█▄▄▀_______█▄▄▀_▀▄▄█_____
November 2014

Ukrainian President asks Kripp for help

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ, ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴜᴋʀᴀɴɪᴀɴ ᴘʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴏʟᴇᴋsᴀɴᴅʀ ᴛᴜʀᴄʜʏɴᴏᴠɪɴᴏ. ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴏᴘᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʀᴜssɪᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴs ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴏʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴏᴊ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

FeelsOkayMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣥⣴⣶⣶⣶⣬⣙⠻⠟⣋⣭⣭⣭⣭⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⠿⢷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠷⠥⠱⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠮⠤⣌⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⢛⡁⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⡫⢕⣪⡭⠥⢭⣭⣉⡂⣉⡒⣤⡭⡉⠩⣥⣰⠂⠹ ⡟⢠⣿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣏⣛⢲⣾⣿⠃⠄⠐⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠁⠃⢸⣿⣿⡧ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣊⠙⠳⠤⠤⠾⣟⠛⠍⣹⣛⣛⣢⣀⣠⣛⡯⢉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⢒⣠⣼⣿⣿⣛⠻⠛⢛⣛⠉⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⡛⢿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡻⢷⣍⣛⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢇⡘⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⠻⠶⣬⣍⣛⣛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠤⠬⠭⠤⠶⠶⠞⠛⣡⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣭⣍⣙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠛⣠⣿⣿ ⣦⣈⠉⢛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⣁⣒⣒⣒⠂⠠⠬⠭⠭⠭⢀⣀⣠⣄⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021

Now I remember why I fell asl...

twitchquotes: Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Mill Druid. Now I remember why I fell asl... ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust

twitchquotes: I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
November 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing