[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
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March 2019
OverwatchLeague

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Canadian sex

twitchquotes: thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!" thrusts "Sorry!"
twitch chat
November 2020

Hey Imaqtpie, I think you should play Kogmaw

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, theres a new champ named kogmaw who i think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after hes been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
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June 2019
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League of Legends

PepeLaugh

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠤⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠬⡣⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠤⠤⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢀⡒⠤⠭⠅⠚⣓⡆⡆⣔⡙⠓⠚⠛⠄⣹⠿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⢀⠤⠬⠐⣈⠠⡤⠤⠤⣤⠤⢄⡉⢁⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣐⡖⢦⣽ ⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡿⠛⠯⠍⠭⣉⣉⠉⠍⢀⢀⡀⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠂⠄⣻ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠩⠵⠒⠒⠲⢒⡢⡉⠁⢐⡀⠬⠍⠁⢉⣉⣴⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢉⣒⡉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠉⠂⠙⣉⣁⣀⣙⡿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⡖⢉⠥⢤⠐⢲⠒⢲⠒⢲⠒⠲⡒⠒⡖⢲⠂⠄⢀⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢆⡑⢄⠳⢾⠒⢺⠒⢺⠒⠚⡖⠄⡏⠉⣞⠞⠁⣠⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢆⠄⠄⠄⠈⠢⠉⠢⠍⣘⣒⣚⣒⣚⣒⣒⣉⠡⠤⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠷⣤⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠉⠐⠢⠭⠄⢀⣒⣒⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing