Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
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Buying Monster and adult diapers
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I’m telling you, TidesOfTime is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he rode a boar out the door
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TidesOfTime
Only the chosen one can stack 7 Doritos chips
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Knight of Negativitironi
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<:::::[]=¤༼ ◉_◔༽凸 I am the knight of Negativitironi. Stand back foul positivitironi! <:::::[]=¤༼ ◉_◔༽凸
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Kripp
I need the 2-3 police here right away
twitchquotes:
╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ hello 2-3 police, i need you here right away, its an emergency ╰(”◕﹏◕”)つ
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Kripp
Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!
twitchquotes:
Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
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