[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Racoon

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣤⠀⣿⣿ ⡿⢛⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣡⣴⠏⠁⠀⡚⠀⢸⣿ ⠁⣿⠉⢀⡉⠉⢿⣷⣄⠈⠉⠁⣠⣀⣤⡀⣤⣤⣀⣴⠂⢺⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿ ⠀⢷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⣷⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡟⠃⠠⢄⣀⢀⡴⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣧⠈⠣⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠸⠛⠃⠉⠋⠹⠀⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠺⣟⣷⣦⣄⠙⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢈⢿⣷⣾⣦⡤⢴⣿⣶⡀⢠⣔⣤⣤⡀⠀⠲⣾⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⢻ ⣿⠏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⡻⣿⠀⠘⠿⡟⠡⠄⢉⡼⢿⣿⣿⣦⠈ ⡏⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡁⠐⠃⠈⠀⠐⠀⠀⣀⢠⡤⣾⠃⠀⠉⠛⠛⢠ ⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠘⠿⣶⣤⠴⠶⢟⣰⣶⣾⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣟⠿⣿⡆⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿ ⣷⡄⠛⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠈⠁⠀⠘⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣛⣉⣉⡙⠋⠋⠁⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2020

As soon as you stop being hardcore

twitchquotes: "H-h-ey Rania, could we go on a date when I visit Europe for ESGN?" Kripp blushes as he asks him timidly over skype. "It doesn't have to be serious, just coffee or something." Rania smirks. "Sure Kripp, as soon as you stop being hardcore," She types while tucking Frump
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh?

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someone’s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. You’re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I don’t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didn’t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesn’t lie. Even if you try to save it, it’s my property. You’re just angry that you couldn’t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldn’t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. You’re just mad you don’t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Service dog approaches you

twitchquotes: If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and in need of help. Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.
twitch chat
April 2019

The Emoji Movie summary

The Emoji Movie unlocks the never-before-seen secret world inside your smartphone. Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone's user. In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression - except for Gene, an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak. Together, they embark on an epic "app-venture" through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it's deleted forever.
August 2021
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