[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Dad's Office with Among Us (Office Series Part 5, Finale 2)

That's right. I am the IMPOSTER. I just killed my boss. I now had to convince everyone that I wasn't the imposter. "Chad is the imposter!" I randomly yelled out. Another coworker said "Well, I did see him running towards the stairs/elevator. "Wait, think about this!" Chad stated. "How do you know I'm the murderer? It could be him!" "Hmm.." My coworker, John, said. "Why do you think it's him, Darrius?" "Well," I started, "The same reason as you. I saw him running towards the elevator when the killing happened. "Wait, wait, wait!" Angelica proclaimed. "How do we know it happened on the top floor?" Another coworker, Adam, pointed out the window towards the paramedics wrapping up my boss' mangled corpse in a body bag." Oh!" Angelica said." That's a bit sussy," I said. "I think it must have been Angelica, she's pretending she doesn't know anything?" "Hmm, you might be right." My coworker Dave spoke up. "But I think that it might be you, Darrius." "Wait woah woah, why is it me?" I defended myself. He said "I saw you enter the elevator right before the murderer hit!" He said. Shit. he's onto me." Woah, you could be lying! I was in my cubicle doing my office work!" I yelled back." Oh really, what were you doing?" Dave said." I was uh.. scanning for viruses on my computer!" "Hmm.. okay." "I think that we should get rid of Liam." Angelica proclaimed. "Woah woah woah, pretty lady! Why do you think that?" He quickly hopped to his defense. "I haven't been a part of this discussion at all!" "Well, you're pale, and you work on the closest floor to the boss." Angelica replies. "Yeah, that's sus, Liam." I said. "We should get rid of him." "I agree." Chad said." Me too!" Adam said." Me three!" John said. And so we decided to throw him out the window.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius

twitchquotes: Tyler1 is an absolute fucking legend and genius. We have never before had the ability to step inside the mind of these great ADC players - thanks to streaming and his willingness to commentate what he is thinking, we now have a glimpse into how much deeper they are thinking about the game than the rest of us. What a time to be alive!
twitch chat
February 2019
Tyler1

League of Legends

Trollge from Typical Colors 2

โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃญโ นโ ›โ ›โ ›โขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃฟโ ทโ ถโ ฟโขปโฃฟโฃ›โฃฆโฃ™โ ปโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโขฟโฃฟโ โ €โ €โก€โ €โ ˆโฃฟโข›โฃฝโฃœโ ฏโฃฝโ €โ €โ €โ €โ ™โขฟโฃทโฃปโก€โขฟ โ โ ›โขฟโฃพโฃ–โฃคโก€โ €โข€โกฐโ ฟโขทโฃถโฃฟโก‡โ ปโฃ–โฃ’โฃ’โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโข™โฃถโฃฎ โฃคโ €โ €โ ›โ ปโ —โ ฟโ ฟโฃฏโก†โฃฟโฃ›โฃฟโกฟโ ฟโ ฎโกถโ ผโ Ÿโ ™โ Šโ โ €โ ธโขฃโฃฟ โฃฟโฃทโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ  โ ญโฃโก‰โขฉโฃฅโกคโ ฅโฃคโกถโฃ’โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฐโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโกฝโก„โ €โ €โ €โขฟโฃฟโฃ†โฃฟโฃงโขกโฃพโฃฟโก‡โฃพโฃฟโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโก‡โ ƒ โฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃปโฃ†โข„โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ ›โ ›โ ˜โ ›โ ›โ ›โ ™โ ›โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃฟโก‡โขธ โขžโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃโฃทโฃโ ฆโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก€โข€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ›โฃฟโ ˆ โฃฆโก‘โ ›โฃŸโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃทโฃโขงโก€โ €โ €โฃถโฃธโก‡โฃฟโขธโฃงโ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโกฟโก† โฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฎโฃญโฃโก›โ ปโขฟโฃทโ ฟโฃถโฃถโฃฌโฃฌโฃโฃ‰โฃ€โฃ€โฃโกคโขดโฃบโฃพโฃฝโก‡
July 2022

Hammer and sickle

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘
January 2017

You cheated not only the game, but yourself

twitchquotes: You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing