[Copypasta] I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Padoru 2

PADORU PADORU ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠚⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠈⠀⢸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⢀⠌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⠑⣌⡉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⡆⠀ ⠀⢀⠇⠀⢸⡭⡷⡶⢤⡤⣤⣀⣀⣀⢠⡤⢤⡶⣾⢡⠀⠀⢠⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⢳⣦⣷⣇⣱⠁⢧⠟⡜⣈⣆⣦⣧⣯⢾⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢠⡇⠀⠀⡄⠰⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡀⠀⢸⠇ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠀⠇⢀⣿⣦ ⢉⣿⣤⡄⣱⣄⡀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⡌⠀⣼⣿⠋ ⠈⠁⠠⢤⢗⡨⠽⠉⠐⣾⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣶⣌⣿⣿⣤⡼⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
December 2018

Female Amogus Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠛⠋⠉⣭⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠙⣀⣠⡤⠶⠶⠶⠾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡏⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⡇⠀⠸⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⡀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠛⠶⢶⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⣿⣶⣶⢤⣤⣤⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠉⢉⣛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣿⣤⣄⣀⢸⣿⠆⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠏⠍⠀⠀⢹⣿⠈⣿⠀⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠏⠈⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⠀⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣻⡇⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⣿⣇⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣄⣀⣀⢀⣼⡟⠀⢰⣿⢿⢼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠛⠀⠀⠈⣿⢸⣆⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠛⠷⠦⣄⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡯⡄⠀⠀⠀⣰⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠀⠀⢂⣀⡻⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣧⠁⠀⠀⢠⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣧⣤⡶⠿⠙⢹⣿⠃ ⠀⠀⣀⣻⣷⣦⣤⣴⣿⣷⣤⣀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣠⣶⡿⠋⠀ ⣴⡿⢯⠅⠉⣹⣿⠟⠛⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⣀⣤⣴⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀ ⠙⢿⣷⣤⣤⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

It's 2094 and Jared still can't get back to challenger

twitchquotes: It's the year 2094 jared still can't get back to challenger. Qt and dom have trolled him in every promo he has played for the past 80 years. FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
April 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

FeelsDankMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⡿⠛⡍⠉⠙⣿⡆⣒⣈⣥⣤⣶⢖⠒⢲⣶⣽ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠂⠀⠁⣨⠜⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠰⠀⢋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⠝⠊⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣁⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣛⣓⠲⠖⠒⠋⢉⣉⠩⠥⢐⣶⣽⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⣔⣴⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

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