Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
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Teaching him how to throw so well
twitchquotes:
Hey xQc my son is a huge fan of yours. Anyway over the past few days of watching you play this game hes got much better at playing baseball (he plays in the 11-13 year old division). I just wanted to stop by and thank you for teaching him how to throw so well.
twitch chat
xQcOW
Overwatch
Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur
twitchquotes:
Imagine getting BOO'd by Aurateur. Literally instantly you get disintegrated. Before you can even react, every fiber of your being is atomized and lost to a mere button press. Every memorable moment of your life and all hope of a future is wasted in this brief moment a BALD Texan disliked your level. In a flash your existence is nothing but a poof. Thereafter, the BALD Texan continues on, swiftly forgetting of your existence, you having been nothing but an obstacle in his way.
twitch chat
Aurateur
Trump and Scooby Doo
twitchquotes:
"Well Shaggy and Scoobs, you caught the Twitch Chat ghost. Where are Fred and Daphne?" Fred and Daphne appear, their clothes ruffled. Fred pulls off the ghost's hood. "Rit's Rrump!" exclaims Scoobie. "Why'd you do it Trump?" asks Velma. "Because I hate Twitch chat and I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
twitch chat
Trump
I hate Twitch Chat
Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile
twitchquotes:
Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
Kripp
NA ULT LUL
twitchquotes:
Listen up you fcking dweebs, this is a WAKE UP CALL to all those who type "NA ULT LUL". I'm from NA and let me tell you what happens when I use my Ultimate Ability (Q on PC, Triangle on PS4, Y on X-box 1). The enemy team is eviscerated. Decimated. Their souls are expelled from the server and banished to Hell. They wallow in their own filth and shit for 10,000 days and it is disgusting. So next time you type "NA ULT LUL" you fcking remember this post.
twitch chat