Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today
I saw 1.9293948382% of a girl's shoulders today. I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine caused my the impending earth-shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen everyone in the immediate vicinity. What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever have or ever will produce, shot out so hard that my dick was ripped apart by my übernut accelerating to 5% the speed of light by the time it left my urethra. It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, barely slowed, before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear-powered angle grinder. The sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path, caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of New Jersey to fall pregnant with my children. When the final death toll was tallied, there were 146 deaths, 458 injuries, and over 4 million pregnancies. As I lay dying under the rubble of my high school, I rest easy, knowing every one of my sons will repeat my glorious actions.
bestest tf
twitchquotes:
Hello, my name is dongerino. I want to be the bestest TF just like OLDSCHOOL GG. I still work in banana factory as i m banana. I want to move to america land of FREEEEEDOM to live american dream. However i scared that best wukong reginald will eat me. Plz no copy dongerino my life story I got a dreamo al pacino stevo-o mike the situation sorrentino
twitch chat
TSM_Reginald
League of Legends
Back from my 600 seconds timeout
twitchquotes:
Hello guys, I'm back from my 200 seconds timeout. During that time I was able to finish my 200 words essay on the topic of Nazi Germany. My thesis is that Hitler & Nazi beliefs are carried on by twitch tv Nazi moderators who like to act as if they themselves were literally Hitler. I think I should score at least 90 out of 100 points for that paper. Pls no coperino my paperino.
twitch chat
MODS
Tesla is restarting production today
twitchquotes:
Tesla is restarting production today against Alameda County rules. I will be on the line with everyone else. If anyone is arrested, I ask that it only be me.
twitch chat
WutFace crazy arms
twitchquotes:
╲⎝⧹╲⎝⧹ 
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
twitch chat