[Copypasta] bears are always fucked

Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a šŸŒˆšŸ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
April 2021

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbetsOGs/comments/mwdc9e/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_april_23_2021/gvjfcfb
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. Iā€™m disgusted and Iā€™m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itā€™s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenā€™t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadā€™s wifeā€™s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iā€™m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iā€™m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheā€™s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itā€™s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itā€™s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itā€™s 2021 you bigots.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called ā€œdoctorā€ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donā€™t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Iā€™m a simple guy

Iā€™m a simple guy. I donā€™t know about all these fancy ā€œfinancial instrumentsā€ or ā€œmarket dynamicsā€ or ā€œwhere the clit is.ā€ I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing