[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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YOU'VE BEEN VISITED BY THE FEELS GOOD MAN

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan YOU'VE BEEN VISITED BY THE FEELS GOOD MAN FeelsGoodMan LOVE, HAPPINESS, AND SELF WORTH CAN ALL BE YOURS FeelsGoodMan BUT ONLY IF YOU COPY PASTE THIS MESSAGE THREE TIMES <3 FeelsGoodMan
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games

twitchquotes: Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games. We understand there was an issue with our last financial restructuring that inadvertently canceled the auto-pay into your account. We've gone ahead and rectified the issue, as well as forwarding an additional 10% as an apology. We look forward to your updated commentary regarding our latest content expansion for Path of Exile.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

sellout

haHAA emote

⡿⢋⡿⠛⣡⣿⣿⡟⢉⣽⣟⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠰⠏⠽⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⠛⣀⣈⠩⠭⠤⠤⠴⢶⣶⣤⡐⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠆⣠⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠦⣤⣤ ⣤⣾⡟⣋⣠⡄⡀⣀⢀⡢⢌⣙⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⠏⡸⠟⣩⢠⡀⠤⢠⡄⣲⣶⣿ ⣿⡿⢷⣌⡛⠧⠤⠄⠘⣛⣂⣼⣿⡇⢠⣶⡆⠄⣿⡶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠦⠬⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⢹⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠃⢸⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣋⠠⠂⣰⠁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣉ ⣿⣿⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣤⡆⢸⣿⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣦⣄⡐⠲⣿⡋⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣷⣤⣉⡑⠈⢻⣿⣿⠟⢉⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣷⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠇⣼⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠷⢤⣤⣤⠾⠿⠛⢛⣉⠉⡉⢻⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⠐⠄⡂⢀⣀⢐⡒⢒⠒⢒⠒⡒⠒⡒⢚⡉⣁⠰⠠⢀⣾⠇⣼⣿ ⣇⢻⣷⡈⢿⡇⢰⣌⡐⠨⢐⠛⠸⠇⠿⠇⠿⠸⠿⠘⣃⣩⡴⢁⣾⣿⣄⡟⢠ ⣿⡄⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⡟⢿⣷⣦⣌⡙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⠃⡼ ⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣦⣌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠊⣴
April 2021

Kappa

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November 2014

Classic

Art of Conquest Developer visits Kripp's stream

twitchquotes: 🔧(Art of Conquest™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to read the script we sent at the appropriate times, as stated. We have arranged for your requested reward of various veggies and rainbowed colored 10-inch cucumbers to arrive within a week at your house. We will send you some thick broccoli if you include "not sponsored" in your stream title. We hope you will enjoy your rewards and wish you and your vegan family a good day.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing