[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Get a life nerds

twitchquotes: Honestly though, copy-pasting the same thing over and over again, how dumb can all of you be? The more i post it, the funnier it gets ResidentSleeper You guys are so easy to trick into spamming. Get a life nerds
twitch chat
November 2019

this streamer is look very nerd

twitchquotes: this streamer is look very nerd :\
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, sleazy video game developer here. I understand you are willing to sell yourself out like a cheap Romanian hooker to any two-bit game development outfit as long as they dangle some shekels in front of your beady little eyes? Great! Because I have this brilliant game in beta testing right now called "Watching Paint Dry" and I am willing to pay you $5.00 USD to play it for 24 hours straight. Let me know what you think, you glorious sellout!
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

sellout

Classic

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much, I had all the merchandise and VODS. I pray to xQc every night, thanking him for the life I've been given. "xQc is love" I say "xQc is life" My dad hears me and calls me a Juicer. I knew he was jealous of my devotion to xQc. I called him baj He hits me and sends me to sleep I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... Its xQc! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my jungle" He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for xQc. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for xQc. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering. I want to please xQc. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with the juice. My dad walks in. xQc looks him straight in the eye and says, He got the Juice now. xQc leaves through my window. xQc is love. xQc is life.
January 2022
xQcOW

veryFors

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠄⠈⠉⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⣛⣛⣛⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡟⢱⣆⠄⠿⢿⣿⣿⣯⠬⣙⡇⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣭⣵⣦⠄⣠⣿⡈⢿⣀⣸⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢨⠟⣷⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⡿⢂⣀⢸⣦⠄⠄⣹⣿⠇⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣟⣉⣴⣿⠇⣠⣾⠂⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⡿⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⠿⠋⠉ ⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
July 2022
Forsen

Emote

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