[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, I am a casual player

twitchquotes: (ง ◉◡◔)ง Hello Kripp. I am a casual player who always managed to get 1-3 in arena. I wanted to know if you want to hire me, I could train you to be better in arena, and maybe one day, you could manage to have 1-3 as I do. My prices are 15$ per hour. Just PM me if you are interested. (ง ◉◡◔)ง
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Pennywise 2

⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣽⣶⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣏⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢅⠄⠶⠿⣿⡿ ⠄⠈⣿⣿⡏⣀⠉⡍⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⢠⣆⢆⡀⠄⠄⠈ ⠟⢃⣼⣿⣿⭕⣀⣶⣬⣛ ⠈⠄⢀⣠⣼⣿⡿⡁⠄⭕⠄ ⠄ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⢷⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⣛⠛⠿ ⠄⢻⡟⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⠏⠿⡿⢿⡿⠿⠯⠎⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⡿⢖ ⢀⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠿⠟⠋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠙⠻⢿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣠⡤⠞⡋⡍⠄⠂⠄⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⡁⣾⣹⡍⣁⠐⡆⡇⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⣿⣿⣷⡘⢻⣧⣇⡟⢿⢿⠄⢷⢸⡧⠁⠄⠄⢰⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⢹⠸⢣⢈⠘⡇⠘⠈⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣏ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣷⡀⠄⠸⢿⣿⡏⣾⠓⠃⠄⠄⢀⡟⠎ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⡤⣼⣷⡀⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡞⣼⡴ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣭⣥⣤⣤⣶⣾⡟⠑⠋⠄
November 2019

If you touched a slug it would die

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad you're so salty, if you touched a slug it would die
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

salty

yo

twitchquotes: To ̼̜͈͔̰i̲͓̬̜͓̳ͅn̪̹v̨͚̜̪̠͉̝͉o͕̤̘̻̮̘̭k̦̦̖̠̪e͇͎̙̖ͅ ̭̗͚̠t̻̥h̻͜e̲̩̣̩ ̖̹h̯̟i͕v͏̼͙͖̮͍̞e̺͙͉̦͡-͏̥̻m̷̤i͓n̻̱͍̼̼d͖̜̝̰̳̱͇͟ ̠͍̳ṛ̷e̱͎̟pr̬ḙ̗̫̖͖̜͓̀s̵̗̲͉̭̤en̥̣͟t̨̬͔̣̼̹̘i̶̼͚̻̻n̬g̱̗̩̯̭̬͘ ̻̻̮̪̬ͅc͞h̯̼͇̥ao̫̳̭̲̹̲͟s.̙͓̲͍͉͞ͅ ͖͎̳͕Ìṋ̲̻̞̫̠̫v̛̯͍̞̘̼̮ͅo̬k̻̺͚̲͖ͅi̢n̵͇͖̼g ͓̺͈̬̞͖͉t̰͕̟̭̱̩ḩ̠̪͕͙͓̘̝e̱͖͔͙͝ͅ ̫̲̤͢f̸̻̣̰͔̳̪͚e̯ẹ̤̣̫l̤̀i̢̲̩n҉̲̹g̵̜̺̙͈͔̦̼ ̼̘͙̹͍̟̻͝o̢̟̺̹̮f͜ ͖͕͟c̸̠̤h̠̙͇͉a̳͍̕oș̡.̦͈̱̱̝̣ ͇̗͖̩̣̣͝W̨͎̱̬̞͓̼ḭ͎̖t̳̜̩͕̬͕h ̞̺͇̤̫̤͜o͓͓̮̤u̞̗̰̮̘t̼́ ̖̺̳̩̦̝ͅo͕̝r͔͓̗d͇̩̙͟ḙ̻̫̭̯̣r̸͉̯̠̯̥̺.̺̼͚̳̘͈͈ ̮̳͉̖͟Ț̛̠̙͍̻͚͖h͟e͈̪̙̗̰̖ ̛̠̹̜̲̞͖ͅN͔̪̼̬̗͉͟e̫͔̼͉̹z̬̠p̯͈̰̯̫͡è̪͖͉͓̼͇r̻͝d̲i͓̻̳̼̘͜a̧͈̲n͉̮̻͈̯͘ ͚̼̝h̯̰̞̥͉͈i̷͓̖͓̟ͅv̷̭͎̳̰e͇͔͍̩̭-̠̟̣̺̱̣̹m͍̬̳͚̙i̝̭n̪͖̳d̻͟ ̞̠͔̹o̢̖̺͈͓͖͎f̭̬̥͍̳̜ ̣̣̪̻̹̥̙c͢h̶a̛̼̙̞̜̮͓o͓̣͕͙̫̩͢ͅs͙.͎̱̹̳͍̫͚͢ ҉͓͕̱̟͓Z͔͈͓̙̮̮̭̀àl̞̥͎̜g̝o.̻͉͚͢ ͕̦͖̹͙̙͓H̘͇̖e͝ ̰̹̭͡wh̺̺͔͙o͕̖̱͕̖̞͉ ̦W̺a̖̱̙̙̬̺̘i̘̻̮̲t͙s̵͈ ̟̕B̛̯e͔͘hi̺ͅn͕͚̣̟̼͘d ̟͠T̵̞h̘̭̝̭̺̀ẹ̸͇ ̘̖̖̟̪̼̞̀W̧͙̱̠a̫ll.̱̥̣͙̤̮ͅ ̩͙͍̝͔Z͏̲̝̜̹̹̱A̴͕̲̥̟͖͈̭Ḷ͞G͇͙̣̞O̸̖͍͕!̛̻
twitch chat
July 2014
Kaceytron

Sell out

twitchquotes: Now You're somebody that used to code
twitch chat
September 2014
Notch
Text-to-Speech Playing