[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

This guy's DDOS is crazy

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis guy's DDOS is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy ISP can't win against a DDOS like that” β˜‘ "He NEEDED precisely this IP to win" β˜‘ β€œHe used the only DDOS site the that could beat me” β˜‘ "He had the perfect program” β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could do” β˜‘ β€œI streamed that perfectly"!!!
twitch chat
January 2015

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called β€œTalking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words β€œsing like dick”. The robot said β€œsing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said β€œsing like dick”. I was crying in fear, β€œis this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said β€œno”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: β€œ666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒ its Stavros ο½”ο½ˆο½… Fruit οΌ³ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½…ο½’ from the bazaar. I'm sorry to ο½”ο½…ο½Œο½Œ you but you've ο½„ο½’ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½…ο½„ Greece's ο½…ο½Žο½”ο½‰ο½’ο½… ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ο½Œο½™ of οΌ―ο½’ο½ο½Žο½‡ο½…ο½“οΌŽ 2ecause of ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ on ο½”ο½ˆο½… streets ο½—ο½… advise you to ο½ˆο½‰ο½„ο½… ο½ο½Žο½™ οΌ―οΌͺ ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ο½Œο½™ you ο½ο½‰ο½‡ο½ˆο½” ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½Œο½…ο½†ο½”οΌŽ οΌ·ο½… ο½ƒο½ο½Ž ο½Žο½ο½— ο½ο½Žο½Œο½™ ο½“ο½…ο½Œο½Œ you οΌ―ο½Œο½‰ο½–ο½… οΌͺuice ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½… odd ο½Šο½ο½’ of οΌ΄ο½šο½ο½”ο½šο½‰ο½‹ο½‰οΌŽ οΌ°ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½… no gyro ο½ο½•ο½šο½
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Dragon Rider

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
August 2018

Pizza

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣀⣢⣢⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’ β£·β£€β €β ˆβ ™β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β‘€β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ †β °β Άβ €β ˜β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£†β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⒀⣠⣀⣀⣀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⑀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’ β ‹β’ˆβ£‰β ‰β£‘β£€β’°β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β‘€ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑴⒑⣾⣿⣿⣷⠋⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⑻⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇ β €β €β €β €β €β’€β œβ β Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ €β €β ˜β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β °β –β ±β£½β Ÿβ ‹β ‰β‘‡ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⑰⠉⠖⣀⠀⠀⒁⣀⠀⣴⣢⣦⠀⒴⑆⠀⠀⒀⣀⣀⣉⑽⠷⠢⠋⠀ β €β €β €β‘°β’‘β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘„β ›β ‹β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ €β €β£β£²β£€β£―β žβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β € β €β’€β ”β β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β’€β£„β£€β‘žβ ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β‘œβ €β €β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ Ώβ£»β£₯β£€β‘€β’ β‘Ÿβ ‰β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β’°β β €β‘€β –β Ίβ’Άβ‘Ύβ ƒβ €β ˆβ ™β ‹β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β ˆβ “β Ύβ ‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
June 2019
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