[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

This "Okayge COCK" trend has got to be the WORST "meta" I have ever seen

This "Okayge COCK" trend has got to be the WORST "meta" I have ever seen, truly a new low for you brain dead ForsenBoys I know you Forsen viewers are not the brightest of the Twitch community, but holy shit this is a new low. Obviously, you people can't create any original content, so you resort to stealing other streamers ideas and overuse them to death. I'll admit, the "Doctor transparent" jokes were kinda funny at first but now anytime Doc is mentioned, a 12 year old Forsen fan and their mom post"hurr durr cheating" "hurr durr I can't see anything" it's ridiculous. Then there's the "Forcent bags molding", "Clip it and ship it" too. As if you guys can create anything without content from superior streamers like Doc or Xqc. And god forbid, you guys actually came up with some original stuff, and what is it? Literally a retarded frog spamming COCK. This is the absolute bottom of the barrel spam content. No better than grade schoolers drawing penises on the bathroom wall. Literally 50 IQ spam content. Yet, you guys have the audacity to mock other streamers and their fans for being immature. Whenever you are not spamming these garbage memes, it's blatant racism and sexism in chat. "CmonBruh" "Hotpokket" should be banned. I type "HaHaa" in response to these spams because I literally cringe at the thought of racist and sexist existing in the 21st century. Please stop this discriminatory act and grow up. I'm ashamed to be in the same Twitch communities as you childish fans
January 2022
Forsen

Mom, twitch chat is not a documentary on Nazis!

twitchquotes: My mom just walked into my room and asked why I was watching a documentary on Hitlers top officers. I told her "No mom it's just twitch chat mods" She called me a Jew hater and burned a Swastika into my forehead.
twitch chat
August 2014
Trump

ANY LOSERS?

November 2020

NSFW

So you're going by Kurum now nerd?

twitchquotes: So you're going by Kurum now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Milk i'm rank 1. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in the games . Sorry you were just an easy bot to target. I can see not much has changed. Remember the rank you had a crush on? Yeah we're inseparable now. I 'm rank 1 in N.A. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic.
twitch chat
October 2019
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

One ring to rule them all

twitchquotes: It began with the forging of the great rings. 3 for the ARPG gamers, immortals, for they cannot afford to die. 7 for the Strategy gamers, builders, who command entire armies. 9 for the MMO players, who spent days logged in without breaks, and who above all else desire loot. For within these rings was the strength and power to remain nolife. But they were all deceived. For another ring was made. In the land of Romania, in gypsy flames, the dark lord Kripp forged a secret ring, and into this ring he poured his trips, his want for a female, his family, but above all else, his desire to be casual. One ring to rule them all.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing