[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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forsenX WutFace

⣿⡉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣛⣛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠓⠄⢁⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠙⣿ ⣷⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠱⠮⠽⡍⣙⡿⣟⠋⠥⠄⠄⠸ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⣴⣀⠈⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣾⣿⡿⢿⠧⢸⣶⣄⠠⠄⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡖⣧⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠶⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⡟⠄⠄⠈⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡄⠙⣿⣏⣀⣠⡀⠄⣸⠇⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⡀⠛⠿⠿⠿⠃⠄⠏⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣠⣀⠄⡀⡂⣠⠄⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

A response to Elon Musk's tweets

March 2022

By the order of Donald of the house Trump

twitchquotes: SMOrc By the order of Donald of the house Trump SMOrc First of his name SMOrc True heir of these United States SMOrc Builder of Walls, Protector of the Border SMOrc I deport you from this chat
twitch chat
October 2016

HYPE cat

⠀⢀⣤⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠈⢹⠀⠀⢸⡛⠏⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠋⡟⡧⠀⠀⡟⠁⠙⢛⣁⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠓⢢⡀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠑⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣇⣀⣀⣠⠴⠃⠀⢰⠃⢀⣀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡖⠢⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⣼⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢸⡄⣿⠟⠙⢿⣿⣧⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣴⠒⠚⠋⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⢁⡜⢸⠀⠀⠹⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡆⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠇⡏⠸⡆⠀⢻⣿⡇⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠀⣾⠸⡸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⢳⡀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⢞⡼⠁⠀⣷⠀⠀⢻⣧⢿⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣐⣠⠎⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠳⣝⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣷⢞⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢻⣮⣓⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⡰⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⢋⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠃⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡎⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠇⡞⠀⠀⠠⣾⠛⠲⣤⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣹⠈⠉⠉⢻⠉⠉⠙⡿⠛⠛⠛⡟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡴⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⢸⠀⠀⣠⡶⠚⠓⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠗⠒⠦⡀⠀⠸⡈⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⠀⢈⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⣠⠇⢹⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠓⠦⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⣠⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠁⠀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⠀⠙⢆⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣹⣿⣧⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⠎⠀⠀⣴⠏⠻⢦⣤⡴⠞⠻⢶⣤⣤⣤⡿⢷⡄⠈⢧⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣆⠀ ⢠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠉⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⢁⡠⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧ ⢸⣿⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠋⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢣⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠙⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠛⠁⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⠤⠤⠤⠎⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠃⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠦⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠾⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⡇ ⠸⣿⣇⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⠘⡞⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢣⠀⠈⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⢫⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⣿⣿⡀⠈⠓⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠙⠑⠒⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠉⠀⣼⣿⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠑⣄⠀⢀⡤⠔⠊⠁⠧⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢤⣀⣀⣰⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀
February 2024
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