[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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Minion Joker

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September 2021

OhMyDog

β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β ‰β ‰β ™β »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‡β Ώβ’Ÿβ£ β£€β£„β‘€β €β €β €β£ β£΄β£€β‘ˆβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻Ⓙ⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β »β‘Ώβ Ÿβ ›β β €β €β €β €β ‰β β €β €β ˆβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’»β£Ώ β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘―β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ώ ⣿⑿⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⠀⠀⠀⒀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣆⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ β‘Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ‘„β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£¦β €β €β €β €β €β €β’ β €β €β €β’Έ β ƒβ €β €β €β €β €β €β£‡β €β €β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β£Έ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ώβ €β €β’Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ’›β£Ÿβ €β’Έβ£Ώβ β €β €β €β €β €β£°β €β €β €β €β Έ β£·β£€β‘€β£€β‘€β£€β£΄β£Ώβ €β €β ˜β£΅β €β£Όβ£β’°β£Ύβ Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘Ώβ €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⑁⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⣀⣴⣿ β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⑀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Hey Nairo this is your cat

twitchquotes: Hello @NairoMK , this is your cat, Mr. Fluffers, I heard that you were complaining about my excessive meowing. I don't complain about having to hear you talk to yourself for 8 hours while playing that stupid game so I expect the same. Come here and feed me scrub CoolCat
twitch chat
September 2018
NairoMK

Streamers should eat before they start streaming

twitchquotes: Streamers should eat before they start streaming. Eating while streaming, unless you put other content on and take the camera off you, is extremely bad manners and disgusting. "Streaming is a real job!" It is. But most streamers dont treat it like a real job. Between failing to make schedules, acting in a way that would be considered unprofessional, constantly calling off, etc etc. Content creation can be a real job. But most dont treat it as one.
twitch chat
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing