[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

America as a nation can be defined as a single word

"America as a nation can be defined as a single word: Iwasinthefootasdkjhasjckabcxdqiweywqfootuidhaksb... excuse me, I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping, traveling with him, traveled 17,000 miles when I was Vice President. I don't know that for a fact." - Joe Biden
April 2022

Joe Biden

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen and still be considred a vegan? Vegans don't eat dairy, semen is a protein containing substance from a mammal, that's very close to dairy. The fact that it comes from a mammal also means it's an "animal product" ... Sure you might not be hurting anyone, but does that seriously mean you would consider yourself a vegan if you swallowed semen? I don't mean any of this in offense, in anyway.. just wondered what the consensus was.
January 2021

Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: ☭ ☭ ☭ ☭ Nᴏsᴛʀᴏᴠʏᴀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, Tʜɪs ɪs Cᴏᴍʀᴀᴅᴇ Sᴛᴀʟɪɴ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ 1952. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ Gʀᴇᴀᴛ Pᴜʀɢᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴅs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ sʜᴀᴍᴇ. I'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄʀᴜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ʀᴜɴ ᴍʏ ɢᴜʟᴀɢs. Bᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ Rᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀɴ Dᴇᴀᴅ ☭ ☭☭ ☭
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

Crazy anime girl

⠄⠄⣠⠞⠁⢠⡞⣡⡴⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠓⠶⣤⣙⢦⡙⢦⡀⠄⠄ ⢀⡔⠁⠄⣰⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣆⠙⡄⠄ ⠋⠄⠄⣼⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢷⡜⣆ ⠄⠄⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⡏ ⢤⣰⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⠟⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⣿⠉ ⠄⣼⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣼⣉⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⣼⠏⠄⠹⠄⠙⣿⣦⠄⠄⣿⠄ ⠄⠛⡿⣧⠄⠄⢀⣴⠋⠿⠋⠻⣦⣝⠻⣦⣤⡾⢃⣠⡴⠆⠄⢸⠟⣿⣷⣄⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠹⣦⣀⣼⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⣻⣶⣿⣟⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⡟⠘⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⣿⢿⡇⣷⠄⠄⣠⣴⠾⠛⠋⠁⠈⠙⠛⠶⣤⡄⠄⢸⠄⢻⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⠇⠄⣿⣸⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡀⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⢿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⠃⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠛⠷⢦⣴⠶⠟⠁⠄⣠⣾⣇⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠲⢤⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢻⡇⠄⠄ ⣼⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣼⣿⣤⣤
January 2019

Weebs

Tricky the Clown

⣿⣿⡉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠸⠟⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⠀⡹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠤⠀⣈⡉⠁⠒⠒⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⡀⡠⠼⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⠀⠙⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠐⠒⠀⠤⠤⠄⢉⣀⣀⡒⠀⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠉⠀⠀⠙ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡴⠀⠀⠀⣀⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⡇⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡃⠀⢻⡀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠳⢶⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣾⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢀⣾⢿⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣠⠞⠁⠀⣿⠇⢀⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠈⠑⠂⢀⡀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠈⡟⠒⠚⠋⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⠠⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠤⠤⠤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣇⠀⠀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣍⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡦⠤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠓⠶⣶⣤⣤⣦⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021
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