[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Please pray for Kripp's ears

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Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
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KKona boy I was at that darn there

twitchquotes: KKona boy I was at that darn there hootenanny shindig gitten down on some damn there squaredancin, when a fine belle asked me for a dance. Couldn't see nuthin, the damn barn dint have no damn light fixtures. But I knew she was prettier than fresh cooked stew from mama. Boy I tell you, I said yes faster than a one legged gator on a tractor boy I tell you. Once we had a darn tootin time in that darn there doe-see-doe, i took er out 'hind the hay bales. Mmm boi I tooker pants off faster than a hot knife through butter yessir. Lets just say i gave er the ol' Tennessee One Two. We both laid down right there on the spot mmmmboy. Held er nice an tight til mornin light. Opened my eyes and I couldnt believe what I saw! It was my damn sister the whole darn time. I aint opposed to it KKona
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October 2018

In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Chibi Leona

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣟⣛⣛⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣧⠄⠄⠱⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠘⣿⠇⠄⠄⠉⠱⢻⣿⡟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣝⡲⢤⠄⠈⠢⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⢠⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢀⠘⢱⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣱⢄⠄⠈⠬⡛⢻⠟⠄⢰⠄⠄⠘⣃⣶⣘⣿⣈⣼⣷⣄⠄⠈⠁⠸⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢣⣀⠄⢡⠈⢀⠄⠸⠇⠄⣴⠿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⠟⢛⡓⡄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠾⠯⠔⡴⠺⡠⠾⢛⢁⣴⣶⣿⢈⣿⠿⢿⣔⠿⠂⡙⡆⡀⡀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⠍⣁⢣⣀⠇⠰⣷⣸⣮⣭⣶⣿⣧⣛⣸⠻⢿⡇⠓⡁⢃⠌⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠼⢛⣱⣷⠄⠙⢿⣷⡬⢙⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠷⠁⡟⠄⠄⡆⣉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠉⠐⠄⠙⣼⡛⠿⠟⣴⠌⠄⠻⢦⣤⢃⢠⣄⠳⣝⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⡄⢰⣷⠸⠈⠐⠆⠆⠂⢁⣻⠄⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠓⠘⣿⡄⢻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⠄⢹⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⢐⠸⣧⠘⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⡆⠈⣷⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣶⣦⠄⢀⡄⠉⠒⠬⡅⣿⠄⠻⣤⡀⠄⠄⣾⠇⢠⠏⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢃⢠⡾⠁⠄⠠⠁⠄⠈⠑⢦⣈⠙⢶⣴⠏⠄⠎⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢣⡿⣾⠇⠄⠄⠄⢹⠄⠇⢹⠄⣈⡓⣄⡈⡈⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣜⠇⣿⠄⠘⠋⠂⠊⠢⢴⠊⠈⠈⠁⠁⣄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣤⠄⠄⡀⢰⣶⣶⣶⣦⠂⡀⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠒⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠨⠮⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

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