[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ben Shapiro's naughty girl

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl. Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

I want to date Pokimane so bad

twitchquotes: I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night “I love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
twitch chat
April 2020
Pokimane

PepeRip

⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⣉⣉⡙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠹⠟⣡⣶⡿⢟⣛⣛⡻⢿⣦⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢀⢤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢮⡃⣛⣛⡻⠿⢿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢡⣴⣯⣿⣿⣿⣉⠤⣤⣭⣶⣶⣶⣮⣔⡈⠛⠛⠛⢓⠦⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡪⢛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡭⠴⣶⣶⣽⣽⣛⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⣛⢛⡛⢋⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠱⣿⣿⣛⠾⣭⣛⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠑⠽⡻⢿⣿⣮⣽⣷⣶⣯⣽⣳⠮⣽⣟⣲⠯⢭⣿⣛⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⠑⠊⠉⠟⣻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣭⣿⣛⠷⠶⠶⠂⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠙⠒⠙⠯⠍⠙⢉⣉⣡⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2019

Pepe

Hey Krip, it's your hairdresser here, Snipparrian

twitchquotes: Hey Krip, it's your hairdresser here, Snipparrian, I just wanted you to know I'm greatful for the tip you gave me after I shaved your pubic hair into a Swastika, now your mods visit me on a daily basis too keep up the facist chat regime. Copy and pasta so Kripp knows of my thanks ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I love your stream. Just kidding

twitchquotes: I love your stream. Your energy and optimism is inspiring and you just make my day so much brighter. Just kidding lol. It's tanner. I see you're still playing this children's card game despite me stealing and selling your account back in the day. Anyways, good talk. See you at the gym ... not.
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Text-to-Speech Playing