[Copypasta] There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
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More Copypastas

nature has molded females to become a holy being

nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting 💦 for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
October 2021

Simps

It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.

It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore. SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Ugandan Knuckles 2

⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠶⣿⣭⡧⡤⣤⣻⣛⣹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣼⣊⣤⣶⣷⣶⣧⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠸⠿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⡀⠘⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣯⣽⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠚⢛⣛⣃⢄⡁⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁⠛⠛⠛⠛⠚⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⢀⢀⣴⣶⣶⣶⣷⡄⠊⠉⢻⣟⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⡠⠔⠒⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀ ⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣙⠻⠿⠶⠒⠁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄ ⢿⠟⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡿⠷⣶⣶⣶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⡿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⢀⢀⢀⠈⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⢀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣸⣿⡇⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢨⣿⣿ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⣾⣿⡿⠃⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢸⣿⡏ ⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⠻⠿⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢀⢠⣿⣿⡇
December 2018

12-1 Cheerleaders

twitchquotes: ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁ This is the 12-1 Cheerleaders, Go Kripp Go! ❁(◕ ‿ ◕)❁
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

MONTHLY PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: PLEASE COPY PASTE THIS FOR YOUR MONTHLY PLEB TEST: ✓ amazW ✓ krippW ✓ trumpW ✓ btsLdW ✓ reynadW ✓ kolentoW ✓ bajW ✓ btsKotlW ✓ dewW ✓ emjaneW ✓ forsenW ✓ krippW ✓ mitchW ✓ singsingFcuk ✓ reckW ✓ sodaW ✓ btsGodzW ✓ merliniHappyMerlini ✓ taymooW ✓ rtzW ✓ admiralW ✓ envySwag ✓ sumailKappa ✓ btsMerliniW ✓ wtrWtR ✓ dagerDendi ✓ ppdSalt ✓ fearGASM ✓ singsingP ✓ fluffyW ✓ ratW ✓ Pleb test passed
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

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