[Copypasta] Anduin and Uther

twitchquotes: Anduin is standing outside, looking through the window. He sees how Ben Brode SCAMAZes Tyrande. A small tear runs down his face. "Since Tyrande is the new Priest hero, nobody will ever fulfill my wishes and desires..." A muscular hand lays down on Anduin's shoulder. He turns around and gasps. It's Uther, the Lightbringer himself. "Don't worry, I will make sure you will get my Blessing of Might". Anduin's sorrow immediatly vanishes as he is about to receive his blessing. Uther smirks and reveals his 5/3 Assbringer. "Wow..." Anduin says. Uther slams his Assbringer into Anduin's 1/1 Lightspawn. "Well Played" Uther yells as he Consecrates all over Anduin's face. "BY THE HOLY LIGHT!"
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

What happened to this ad? :(
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Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
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Hi I'm Reynad, I run a website called Tempo Storm...

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Therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty

twitchquotes: ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽ This is Blizzard, Forsen. We've detected reduced gaming time of our game, Hearth of Stone from you and therefore we reduced your RNG as penalty. ༼▀̿ Ĺ̯▀̿༽
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May 2015
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Gold Cards should have a slight buff

twitchquotes: I feel like Gold Cards should have a slight buff, like +1 attack or -1 mana or something... not that big of a change, just so it’d make Gold Cards worth it..
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September 2018

Hearthstone

4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent

twitchquotes: What chat is glossing over with this "misplay" is the 4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent. He's making the opponent think he's a terrible player, and therefore more likely to make bad choices, when in reality he's playing against Kripparian the master of salt, and salty plays. He's a real wiz at juking people in a children's card game.
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April 2018
Kripp

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Text-to-Speech Playing