[Copypasta] πŸ—Ώ is the worst emoji

πŸ—Ώ is the worst emoji. It's horrendous and ugly. I hate it. The point of emojis is to show emotions, but what emotion does this show? Do you just wake up in the morning and think "wow, I really feel like a massive fucking stone today"? It's useless. I hate it. It just provokes a deep rooted anger within me whenever I see it. I want to drive on over to the fucking emoji headquarters and kill it. If this was the emoji movie I'd push it off a fucking cliff. People just comment πŸ—Ώ as if it's funny. It's not. πŸ—Ώ deserves to die. He deserves to have his smug little stone face smashed in with a hammer. Oh wow, it's a stone head, how fucking hilarious, I'll use it in every comment I post. NO. STOP IT. It deserves to burn in hell. Why is it so goddamn smug. You're a fucking stone, you have no life goals, you will never accomplish anything in life apart from pissing me off. When you die noone will mourn. I hope you die.
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

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Reynad is the math teacher and I am a sexy lifeguard boy

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Professor Utonium

β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ
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Unimpressed Squidward

β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β‘€β  β €β €β£€β£€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£€β’€β‘’β ‰β β €β ’β’‚β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β£’β €β£€β €β €β €β € β €β €β£ β Ύβ …β ˆβ €β ™β €β €β €β ˆβ €β €β’€β£€β£“β‘€β ‰β €β ¬β •β’„β €β € β €β£°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β Άβ’¦β‘€β ‘β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’§β € ⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣀⣀⣀⣀⑀⒀⣀⣀⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⑄ β €β’Ήβ‘€β €β €β €β €β‘œβ β €β €β ™β‘΄β β €β €β ±β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ € ⠀⠀⠱⒄⑀⠀⒰⣁⣒⣒⣂⣰⣃⣀⣒⣒⣂⒣⠀⠀⠀⒀⑴⠁⠀ β €β €β €β €β ™β ²β’Όβ‘€β €β ™β €β’ β‘‡β €β ›β €β €β£Œβ£€β‘€β –β ‰β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘—β’„β£€β‘ β Šβ ˆβ’¦β£€β£€β ”β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β’°β β €β €β €β’£β €β €β£·β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£ β ”β Šβ ‰β β‘β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β €β Ώβ£„β£€β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β£§β Έβ ’β£šβ‘©β‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β£β£™β ’β’΄β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‹β ‰β €β €β’³β‘€β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ ‰β “β šβ β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β “β ›β ›
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How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
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