[Copypasta] CoolStoryBob tell me more

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob fascinating, tell me more
twitch chat
November 2016
What happened to this ad? :(
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Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Applejack

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘.’.β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
ascii art
November 2014

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY πŸ‘‹πŸ˜© there comrade πŸ’¦πŸ’ͺcummy! the πŸ‘Ή supreme πŸ† cockπŸ› has πŸ—³voted to strike πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈβŒ›οΈdown the 🌈 sexy 🀧🀰🏻roe v. wade decision 😏according 🀀🦢🏻to a opinion πŸ–ŠwrittenβœοΈπŸ’Έ by daddy πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ™ˆ sammy πŸ‘ΆπŸ»πŸ™…πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ aLITo. πŸ·πŸ’¨ the opinion is a πŸ’¦πŸŒ FULL THROATED πŸ“²β€οΈβ€πŸ”₯GIRTHY πŸ† contraDICKtion πŸš«πŸ‘ of the 1973 πŸ‘ΏπŸ‘Ždecision that πŸ’πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ‘Œ guaranteed federal 😀 cocks-titutuinal 😳 protection πŸ‘…πŸ’„of abortion rights!!! ❀️‍πŸ”₯🫑everyone who πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ’¦ woke remember πŸ™‹βœŠπŸ»πŸ€” to fund πŸ’ΈπŸ₯΅ planned parenthood and πŸŒͺπŸ‘Ό donate to πŸ§‘πŸΌβ€πŸΌπŸ€‘abortion funds! get yo πŸ“Έuturuses πŸ’‹πŸ‘ turnt you πŸ’ƒwhore! 🌭every whore knows 🧠🍼that everyone πŸ”œshould have πŸ‘©β€βš•οΈπŸ₯access to safe πŸ™ 🌎abortions ❀️😘 if they choose πŸ’…πŸ»πŸ‘€ to have one. πŸ‘‘πŸ‘Ήsend to ten πŸ˜¬πŸ™of your closest πŸš±πŸ…ΎοΈWHORES to secure abortion πŸ“«πŸ€rights in ameriCUM πŸ€€πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έif you get five βœ‹ back abortion πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹rights will be codified πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈπŸ€€in law πŸ“ΈπŸ‘ 
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I want to fuck a cheeseburger

I want to fuck a cheeseburger. Just having that cheesy goodness melt all around my cock would make me feel at ease with the world again. Being able to cum inside a dead cow makes me feel so alive. I have been banned from 231 McDonald’s for public masturbation. Whenever I see an ad for McDonald’s I get so fucking horny. God I want to fuck a cheeseburger.
April 2021
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