[Copypasta] I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021
I used to be a real ad
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣩⣤⣤⣤⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣉⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣌⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢡⡿⠛⠉⠩⣭⣉⣉⣉⣉⡛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣶⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣼⠄⢨⣭⠄⠄⢹⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⡟⠉⣴⡇⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⢀⡇⢠⠄⠄⡄⠄⣹⣟⠄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⣴⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⡏⠘⠁⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠄⠄⢰⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⠅⠄⠄⠄⠠⣶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠁⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠉⠉⠉⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⡼⢃⠰⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠏⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠁⢰⡶⠖⠈⠑⠒⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⢢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the vaccination sites!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to receive my vaccine when all of a sudden this medical "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my patient registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm patient identity. Because I thought he was a medical official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I received the vaccine I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy vaccinating!
August 2021

Coronavirus

COVID

Vaccines

Padoru

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⡠⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠔⣈⣀⠄⢔⡒⠳⡴⠊⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⢜⡴⢑⠖⠊⢐⣤⠞⣩⡇⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠝⠛⠋⠐ ⢸⠏⣷⠈⠄⣱⠃⠄⢠⠃⠐⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⣅⠞⢁⣿⢸⠘⡄⡆⠄⠄⠈⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⡀⠄⠡⢀⠄⣀ ⠄⠙⡎⣹⢸⠄⠆⢘⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⠈⠢⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠑⢿⠈⢆⠘⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢐⢾⠄⡘⡏⠲⠆⠠⣤⢤⢤⡤⠄⣖⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣴⣶⣿⣿⣣⣈⣢⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⣷⣾⣮⣤⡏⠁⠘⠊⢠⣷⣾⡛⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠒⢽⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⣿⣟⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⡿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠰⢼⠄⠄⠄⡄⠁⢻⣍⣯⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣻⠃⠈⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⠿⠿⠛⣿⣶⣤⡇⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠈⠄⢠⠂⠄⠁⠄⡀⠄⠄⣀⠔⢁⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠢⣖⣶⣦⣤⣤⣬⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⡏⠠⢃⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠿⠟⠛⡹⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⠤⠤⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣤⣀⣀⣀⡘⣿⠿⠙⠻⡍⢀⡈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠉⠄⠻⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

I want to come. Not on your face

twitchquotes: I want to come. Not on your face. Not on your titties. I want to come over whenever you need me. Those late nights when you have too much on your mind. Or you have nothing on your mind. I’ll be there, whenever you need me.
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

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