Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING.
$COCK IS RISING TODAY.
Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK.
πβ your πππ $COCK to the π
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
The Battle of Gamestop rages on.
Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-manβs land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen.
When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground weβd lost in the past week.
As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds.
This war wonβt be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wifeβs boyfriend to tell her I love her.
WallStreetBets
If Apple opens super green tomorrow
If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
WallStreetBets
Stimulus talks going well in 2946
The year is 2946, Robot Mitch McConnel and Cyborg Nancy Pelosi report stimulus talks going well.
The Dow rewards them and hits 6.02 x 1023.
WallStreetBets
Team Bull vs Team Bear
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
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VS
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Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
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Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
WallStreetBets
Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025
The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.