[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

HYPE cat

⠀⢀⣤⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠈⢹⠀⠀⢸⡛⠏⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠋⡟⡧⠀⠀⡟⠁⠙⢛⣁⠀⠀⠈⠛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠳⡀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⡞⠁⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠉⠉⠓⢢⡀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⡖⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠑⣤⠴⠋⠀⠀⣰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣇⣀⣀⣠⠴⠃⠀⢰⠃⢀⣀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡖⠢⠤⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣤⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⣼⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢸⡄⣿⠟⠙⢿⣿⣧⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣴⠒⠚⠋⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⠟⢁⡜⢸⠀⠀⠹⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡆⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢸⠇⡏⠸⡆⠀⢻⣿⡇⣇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠀⣾⠸⡸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠉⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⢳⡀⠀⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⠤⠤⢞⡼⠁⠀⣷⠀⠀⢻⣧⢿⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣐⣠⠎⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠳⣝⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡴⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣷⢞⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢻⣮⣓⠒⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⡰⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⢋⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⠃⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡎⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠇⡞⠀⠀⠠⣾⠛⠲⣤⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣹⠈⠉⠉⢻⠉⠉⠙⡿⠛⠛⠛⡟⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡴⠚⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⢸⠀⠀⣠⡶⠚⠓⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠗⠒⠦⡀⠀⠸⡈⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⠀⢈⠀⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⣠⠇⢹⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠃⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠓⠦⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⣠⠴⠚⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢦⡀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠁⠀⣸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣦⠀⠙⢆⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣹⣿⣧⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⠎⠀⠀⣴⠏⠻⢦⣤⡴⠞⠻⢶⣤⣤⣤⡿⢷⡄⠈⢧⠀⠀⠈⠻⢿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣆⠀ ⢠⣴⣿⠟⠋⠉⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⡏⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⢁⡠⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧ ⢸⣿⠀⢰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢳⡀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⠀⠘⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡿⠋⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠈⢣⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡄⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⠀⠀⠑⢄⣀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⠀⠙⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠛⠁⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠲⠤⠤⠤⠎⠀⢠⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⠴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠃⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠦⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⠤⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠾⡀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⡇ ⠸⣿⣇⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡎⠀⠘⡞⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⢣⠀⠈⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⢫⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⣿⣿⡀⠈⠓⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠙⠑⠒⠦⠤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠔⠋⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠉⠀⣼⣿⠇⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡜⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠑⣄⠀⢀⡤⠔⠊⠁⠧⣠⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⡤⠴⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠦⢤⣀⣀⣰⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀
February 2024

I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen

This is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. 100 years from now when I'm dying on a hospital bed and I'm asked what my biggest regret was it will be that I turned on my internet and scrolled through the internet on that fateful day... I will never be able to recover from this. No amount of therapy will save me. No amount of prescription pills will let me recover. I am a shell. This memory is so bad my brain is physically rejecting it and now I have a headache every time I think about it. Why did you post this, thinking it was a good idea? You've permanently ruined my life because of this, I hope you're happy. I hope that one day this gets branded as a war crime and you get hauled off to prison, never to see the light of day again. The fact that you're already not in a psych ward for insanity is so baffling I have lost all faith in every kind of justice system. If you subscribe to any religion, you'd best spend the rest of your time atoning for this ultimate sin. Have a terrible day, I hope this creation of yours haunts you in your dreams.
January 2021

Classic

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021

Doot diddity donger cuckerino

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob 𝓓𝓸𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓸 CoolStoryBob
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing