[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Kripp's sonnerino

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏɴɴᴇʀɪɴᴏ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ, ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇɪᴠᴇᴅ ɪɴ Gʀᴇᴇᴄᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ Tʀᴜᴍᴘ's ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ. Yᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇᴅ ᴀ ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ʟᴇɢᴀʟ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴀɪᴅs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴏᴏɴ ɪɴғᴇᴄᴛ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀɪɴᴏ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴜʀᴇ ɪs ᴀ ᴘʜᴇʀᴏᴍᴏɴᴇ sᴇᴄʀᴇᴛᴇᴅ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴʟʏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ. Pᴀᴘᴀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ! Pʟs ɴᴏ ғᴇᴛᴛᴜᴄᴄɪɴᴏ ᴀʟғᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Please confirm Kappa is working

twitchquotes: This is an automated message from Twitch TV. We have been experiencing technical difficulties related to the Kappa face. Please confirm that your Kappa face is working properly.
twitch chat
March 2014

Homer mmmm

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠒⠀⢀⡔⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠓⢄⡀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡄⠁⠀⢀⣀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⡞⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡠⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢢⣿⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⡀⢐⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣄⡄⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⠏⠻⠟⠀⡌⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠀⠀⠀⠠⠐⠉⠀⠀⢀⠨⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻
July 2019

Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.

twitchquotes: It has come to my understanding that our very own Forsken has turned in to a sellout. He no longer reads chat but only reads the $2 donations he gets. He accuses Frump of being a sellout, but is actually now worse than Frump. Please copy and paste this message to spread awareness. Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

sellout

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing