[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Sadge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⣉⣉⠙⠿⠋⣠⢴⣊⣙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀⢀⠔⡩⠔⠒⠛⠧⣾⠊⢁⣀⣀⣀⡙⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡡⠊⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣌⣾⣿⠏⠀⡈⢿⡜ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⣤⣶⠏⢁⠈⢻⡏⠙⠛⠀⣀⣁⣤⢢ ⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣄⡀⠣⣌⡙⠀⣘⡁⠜⠈⠑⢮⡭⠴⠚⠉⠀ ⠁⠀⢀⠔⠁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⢀⣠⢠ ⡀⠀⢸⠀⢼⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣟⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠶⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣾⡿⠿⣫⣾ ⠇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡾⢗⣿⣿ ⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

crying emote

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠛⠋⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣉⣉⠛⠻⠿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠶⢫⡴⠞⠋⠋⠛⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠈⠉⠳⣄⠀⠀⠉⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⢀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠦⣀⡀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠠⣻⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣦⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠾⡳⣯⡳⡄⠸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠃⠀⠰⡱⡳⠃⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠀⠈⠒⢝⣸⠀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢃⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠙⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿⠿⠟⢋⣥⠾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⢶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⠴⢶⣶⣶⢶⣤⣤⣤⠶⠶⢶⠾⠿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

I'M SO STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT

twitchquotes: YOU SHOULD OF LEROYED OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

You aren’t like the other girls. You're built different

I have seen numerous people use this filter and I can confidently say that your rendition of the use of this filter is by far the best I’ve ever seen. You’re absolutely hilarious, very quirky, whacky, and unique. And you know you are all of those things. I just love how raw, unscripted, and genuine your reactions are whilst using this filter. No other person has ever posted something like this. It’s so refreshing to see someone as different yet original as you. As cliché as it may sound, you aren’t like the other girls. You were built different. And I applause you for that.
March 2022

Simps

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