[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

Tricky the Clown (HellClown)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡇⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠀⢸⠋⣹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠌⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⠒⡒⢾⣦⡀⣀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⡅⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⡈⢿⣷⣽⡿⣣⣿⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠄⠀⠀⠰⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⡿⢃⣼⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣷⢈⣏⣴⣿⡥⠂⠀⠀⠀⢠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠃⠀⠊⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣏⣸⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠁⠀⠀⠈⠈⢢⠤⢤⢠⣾⣏⡟⠋⠀⢀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠙⠃⠸⠾⠟⠐⠀⠙⠿⠋⢉⣀⠀⡈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⡀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⠉⠒⢮⣦⣠⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣦⢻⣦⠀⣠⣆⠈⠑⢌⠒⠺⠦⠤⠠⠎⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⡄⣿⣦⣬⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠤⠐⠲⠾⢿⣷⣝⣻⣿⠹⡶⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣴⡋⠻⣿⣷⣗⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣟⣿⣯⢿⣿⣶⣿⡿⠿⢷⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣻⣿⣧⢃⠀⠀⠛⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠋⠀⠈⢙⡽⠀⣾⣿⣿⣧⣜⣿ ⠉⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠀⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⢾⠀⠀⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣩⣾⣿⣿⡽⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠘⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣄⣀⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Will twitch chat copy pasta anything?

twitchquotes: Will twitch chat copy pasta anything? I sometimes type up big paragraphs trying to be clever and pander to the type of humor that copypasters enjoy. I am beginning to wonder if that matters at all though, will they paste this even though I'm not being funny or referring to some 2015 hearthstone joke about some other dead HS streamer? I guess I'm about to find out.
twitch chat
August 2018

Morons will copy anything if it's long enough

twitchquotes: Morons in this chat will copy anything you say if it's long enough. They won't even read the entire message. They just see a paragraph of text and instinctually copy it and paste it as if they wrote it themselves. It's actually sad how brain dead you people can be, copying and pasting things that have no meaning only because it caught your attention. FailFish
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

salty

Anime ass

March 2021

Weebs

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing