[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Kripparrian Lord of the Saltmen has returned to me

twitchquotes: ( อกแด อœส– อกแด) I แดกแด€สŸแด‹ า“แดส€ แด…แด€สs, สœแด€s ษชแด› ส™แด‡แด‡ษด แดแดษดแด›สœs. sแด แดแด€ษดส sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดแด‡ส€s ส™แดœแด› แดส สŸแดแด แด‡ า“แดส€ สแดแดœ sแด›แด€สs สŸแดสแด€สŸ. แดษดแด‡ แด…แด€ส ษช สŸแดแดแด‹. แด„แด€ษด ษชแด› ส™แด‡ sแด? แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชแด€ษด สŸแดส€แด… แดา“ แด›สœแด‡ sแด€สŸแด›แดแด‡ษด สœแด€s ส€แด‡แด›แดœส€ษดแด‡แด… แด›แด แดแด‡. ษช แด€แด sแด สœแด€แด˜แด˜ส. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ษดแด แด„แดแด˜สแด„สœษชษดแด แดแด€แด„สœแด˜แด€แด˜แด‡ส€ษชษดแด. ( อกแด อœส– อกแด)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

have you ever had a dream like this?

have you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ ever ๐Ÿ˜  had a dreams ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ญ- thats โœ”- that you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ค uhm ๐Ÿ˜ค you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ had you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ do what you ๐Ÿ‘‰ want ๐Ÿ˜- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could do- so you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ do- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could do you ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ‘ˆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ‘‰ wan ๐Ÿ”‘- you ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ‘‰ want ๐Ÿ˜‹ him ๐Ÿ‘ด to do so much ๐Ÿ”ฅ that you ๐Ÿ‘‰ could do anything ๐Ÿ’ฐ?
April 2021

Emoji Pasta

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Seven flamestrikes is not a FREE TO PLAY deck

twitchquotes: Kripp, how can you even PRETEND that you are playing with a FREE TO PLAY deck when yours has seven flamestrikes? I thought this stream was newbie friendly, well apparently I was mistaken. For the sake of ***. Unsubbed, unfollowed and unremembered. Bye, Kripp.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Faceful Void

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘ โ–โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
June 2015

Dota 2

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