[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Kripp, this is OJ, your long lost brother

twitchquotes: สœษช แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs แดแดŠ, สแดแดœส€ สŸแดษดษข สŸแดsแด› ส™ส€แดแด›สœแด‡ส€. ษช า“แดแดœษดแด… สแดแดœ แด ษชแด€ แด˜แดส€ษดสœแดœส™ แด€ษดแด… ษช แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸแดแด แด‡ แด›แด ษขแด‡แด› ษชษด แด„แดษดแด›แด€แด„แด› แดกษชแด›สœ สแดแดœ แด€ษขแด€ษชษด แด€ษดแด… ษขษชแด แด‡ แด˜แด€แด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชแด€ษด แด€ สœแดœษข. แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ สŸแด‡แด›s ส™แดษดแด… แด€ษดแด… แดกแด€แด›แด„สœ แด˜แดส€ษด แด›แดษขแด‡แด›สœแด‡ส€ แด€แด› แด›สœแด‡ แด˜แดส€ษดสœแดœส™s, ษช สœแด‡แด€ส€แด… สแดแดœ แดกแด‡ส€แด‡ sแด›แด€ส€ส€ษชษดษข แดษดแด‡... แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ ส€แด‡แด˜สŸส แด€sแด€แด˜ แดแด„แด›แด€แด ษชแด€ษด, สแดแดœส€ สŸแดแด ษชษดษข ส™ส€แดแด›สœแด‡ส€ - แดแดŠ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Everything points to Amogus

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Among Us / Amogus

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twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

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To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: Iโ€™m sorry I kept referring to Fredโ€™s liberally mayoโ€™d oven-roasted chicken sub as a โ€œbukkake specialโ€. Iโ€™m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. Iโ€™m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling โ€œETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?โ€ in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
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twitchquotes: In their upcoming heist, The 100 Thieves Team visited an orphanage in LA. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope", said Charlie, age 6.
twitch chat
March 2019
Riot Games

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