Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk
I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and Iām a fucking Twittard but I donāt care, Iām the richest man on Earth. Iām having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me āTechnoking of Teslaā and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you canāt accept me youāre a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
I sexually Identify as
I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitchquotes:
They say 9 out of 10 twitch users are dumb. I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitch chat
Trump
Classic
You have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin
sigh
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Bitcoin. Its future applications are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of computing and economics most of its possible functions will go over a typical investorās head. Thereās also Sitoshisās free market outlook, which is deftly woven into his creation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Robert Malthus, for instance.
The shills understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of this coin, to realise that it is not just speculation - it says something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Bitcoin truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldnāt appreciate, for instance, the brilliance in Satoshiās brilliant programming method - the āBlockchain,ā which itself is a cryptic reference to Haber and Stornetta's Merkle trees. Iām smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our lord and savior's genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them. š
And yes, by the way, i DO have a Bitcoin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. Itās for the ladiesā eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that theyāre within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid š
Cryptocurrency
Bitcoin
Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices
twitchquotes:
Twitch Chat (āChatā) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (ānl_Krippā) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
Kripp
Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia
Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isnāt belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole.
While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love!
Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too!
Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldnāt build communism due to being tied to stool. Peopleās Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.