[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Lego City copypasta collection

Prepare for landing at LEGO city airport. The giant passenger plane has just arrived. Lower the luggage, and prepare for boarding. Hey! Build the stairs, board the passengers, and take off! The airport collection from LEGO city. There is a traffic jam at LEGO city. Stop! The main bridge is out and needs to be repaired! Hey! Bring in the giant crane, rig the crane, lift up the heavy road and help your city! The construction collection from LEGO city. There's a new fire station at LEGO city! Build the new fire station! Start the fire trucks! And rush out the garage! Hey! Open the garage door! Race to the rescue! And save your city! The new fire collection from LEGO city. The big container ship arrives at the new LEGO city harbour! Load the ship, with the big harbour crane! Hey! Build the crane, lift the heavy containers! Load the ship! And set out from the harbour! The new transport collection from LEGO city. Emergency in LEGO city harbour! The big container ship is on fire! Quick! To the fire station! You can launch the new fire boat! Hey! You can build the fire boat! Attach the motor! And rush out to put out the fire! The new fireboat is fast! Powerful! And perfect for the job! You can save the day! With the new fire boat in LEGO city! Batteries not included. Each set sold separately.
December 2020

Lego City

Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3

twitchquotes: Year 2020 Jared loses a game in D3 , but he manages to think positively... If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything... he continues to lose another game.... I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past... is what he tells himself... he loses another one ... and reaches for the glock
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

At least you have a life

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) Kripp, you may suck at Hearthstone but at least you have a girlfriend. I bet these people beating you have no life (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

twitch removed Κappa

twitchquotes: twitch removed Κappa FailFish
twitch chat
August 2019

When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ɪ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ʜᴇ ɪs ᴇᴀᴛ ᴍᴇ. ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴡᴇᴛ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʀᴍ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴏ ᴅᴇᴇᴘᴇʀ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ɢᴏʟᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ sɪᴛs ᴏɴ ᴛᴏɪʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ғʀᴇᴇs ᴍᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴀᴅ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ғᴏᴏᴅ. ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴇᴀᴛs ᴍᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing