[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Kripp's streaming checklist

twitchquotes: *stretch* โ˜‘ "mmmm kay" โ˜‘ "yeah alright" โ˜‘ "fuckin A" โ˜‘ "if he drew anything else I would've won" โ˜‘ "how's this guy SO LUCKY?" โ˜‘ "TOPDECK FLAMESTRIKE, YEAP" โ˜‘ "topdeck into topdeck into topdeck, yeah that's how you get 12 wins guys" โ˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Kog'Maw's passive

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie. I noticed that in your games you utilize Kogโ€™Maws passive A LOT, but when I watch LCS players I see them go an ENTIRE teamfight without using their passive even ONCE. Are they playing the champion to its full potential or are you?
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

Megaman

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

Facestone

twitchquotes: Important message from Blizzardยฎ Customer Support: We recently renamed Hearthstoneยฎ to Facestoneยฎ. Please make sure not to use Hearthstoneยฎ, Skillstoneยฎ or RNGStoneยฎ since these names are obsolete. Thank you.
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing