[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I think I'm addicted to settings

God, I fucking love the settings app. I can't stop fucking changing the text size and checking for the new system update. God, the little slider icon turns me on so much. Whenever there is a system update I cry because I can't go on settings again. My screen time shows 107 hours of settings a day, which isn't even fucking possible.
August 2021

Black Lives Matter logo

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣿⣄⠀⠉⠉⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⢃⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⣿⡟⠃⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣮⣝⡻⢡⣿⣿⣿⡆⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⠀⠀ ⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⠹⢋⣾⣿⣷⡄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀ ⢰⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⠎⣛⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⡆ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠨⣭⣘⡿⣿⢟⣵⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣵⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠎⢿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠇ ⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⣾⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡟⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⠟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⠟.
June 2020

Kripp invites twitch chat to his wedding

twitchquotes: ★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸¸ . …somewhere ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ° . * :. . ¸ .☾ . ● ¸ . ★ ° . • ○ ° ★ . * . ☾ ° ¸. …in a parallel universe* ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸. ★ ★ ° . . . ☾ °☆ . * ● ¸ . ★°★ . * . . ¸. * ● ¸ . …KRIPP ° ☾ ★ °● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ○ ° ★. ● . ° ☾ °° . * :. . ¸ . ● ¸ * . …invites twitch chat to his wedding
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

OhMyDog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠿⢟⣠⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠉⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣷⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⡯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸ ⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⣸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⡿⠿⢛⣟⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⣷⣤⡀⣀⡀⣀⣴⣿⠀⠀⠘⣵⠀⣼⣏⢰⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣾⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Complaining about copypastas

twitchquotes: By complaining about copypastas you are just making it worse. Can't you see that? Every time you comment and complain about people posting the same comments each time just adds to the incentive for people who think they are funny to continue. I am willing to bet that this comment will turn into a *** copypasta at this point just because of how "funny" and "ironic" it would be to make a copypasta out of a comment complaining about copypastas.
twitch chat
March 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing