[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie. People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class. If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
June 2017

I sexually Identify as

If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

sumSmash

⣽⣤⣄⠟⡟⣄⣀⣼⣟⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢻⣿⡟⠘⠓⠙⠛⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠻⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠟⣠⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⡙⢿⣿⢃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⠛⠯⠛⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣋⣛⣑⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣦⣀⠈⢨⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢩⠄⢈⠄⠤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⣧⢧⡤⣤⣀⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄ ⣴⣿⡿⠛⠈⣧⠘⠉⠳⡄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⠂⠸⢷⡄⠈⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢃⠉⢀⠛⠄⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣦⣴⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Summt1g

Qtpie, this is your dad here

twitchquotes: qtpie, this is your dad here. i just wanted to say how proud of you i am son, always hiding in your room playing your video games, talking to your internet friends. your mom and i think that's swell and we just wanted to let you know we love you. pls no copy dadderino
twitch chat
March 2016
imaqtpie

League of Legends

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