[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
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More Copypastas

boo every1 im Gohst!!!

twitchquotes: boo every1 im Gohst!!!!!!! holds up ecto-spork my name is spooky but u can call me t3h GoHST P3ngin3 oF sp00kyness!!!!!!!! b00!…as u can see (0r cant iM inVIsible) im very Sp00key!!!! thats why iM came here, 2 HauNT random ppl like you! _… im 13,000 years old (im S00key 4 my age doe) i like 2 bee Sp00key like Salad F1ng3rs w/ my GirlGHostFr1nd (im bi-ectoplasmic if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite Way 2 Sp00k!!! bcuz its SOOOO Creepy!!!! shes sp00kEY 2 of course s0 w3 want 2 HaunT random ppl =) like they say the more GohSTS the sP00OkYER!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make Y0U ScarED so give me lots of wAYS 2 Sp00k U out!!!!!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS πŸ‘‰ πŸ“‰ Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

why are you gay

"why are you gay" i dont know.. one day i woke up and saw a mans ass, then i bit my lip and then he turned around and bit his lip too. then we fucked all night and forgot to say no homo, but he was fine with it. since then we've been fucking everyday, he's really vocal in bed and i love having fun with him 😏😏😏 so thats why im gay. im pretty sure his name is [ur dads name here] he's really good in bed.
May 2022

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019
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