[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Look, kid. You wanna give up?

twitchquotes: Look, ๐Ÿ‘€ kid. ๐Ÿ‘ฆ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ wanna ๐Ÿ™ˆ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up? ๐Ÿ”บ Fine. ๐Ÿ‘Œ But ๐Ÿ‘ you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ here ๐Ÿ‘ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ this ๐Ÿ‘ˆ far ๐ŸŒŒ by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ didn't ๐Ÿšซ get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ all ๐Ÿ’ฏ these ๐Ÿ‘ˆ followers, fans, admirers, and ๐Ÿ‘ hot ๐Ÿ”ฅ groupies by ๐Ÿ˜ˆ giving ๐Ÿ˜˜ up. ๐Ÿ”บ Don't ๐Ÿšซ give ๐Ÿ‘‰ up. ๐Ÿ”บ You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ champ. You're ๐Ÿ‘‰ the ๐Ÿ‘ boshy.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now

twitchquotes: God I want Winston's fat hairy ass on me right now. FeelsBadMan I want his scientist ape body all over me every day, it brings me to orgasmic relief that he could yell "OH YEAH" or "THE POWER OF SCIENCE" to me at anytime. moon2GASM If Activision Blizzard made Winston sexdolls I would buy them all for myself and never leave my mom's basement. Winston is so fucking smart, I want him to teach me science and I'll teach him about fetishes. Fuck I just want Winston to be real. FeelsBadMan ๐Ÿ”ซ
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

MALDHAWK

twitchquotes: Late last year, we were on an expedition to find the rarest hairstyle of them all.. the "MALDHAWK" A combination of MALD and a hawk nest, it combines the fluidity of middle aged male pattern baldness to a contrast of dead rats. Much to our chagrin, we found it April 13th, 2020, on a morose Canadian gypsy's stream. He had over 10k viewers at the time of writing this
twitch chat
April 2020
Kripp

Art of Conquest is the best!

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): Hey Kripp! I just saw your Youtube video about Art of Conquest! It looks like such an amazing free game with a lot of wonderful content and replayablility. I was wondering you were going to play Art of Conquest on stream for us tonight? It would be a privilege to watch such a skilled gamer with a positive attitude such as yourself play this mind-bogglingly complex game. Thanks Kripp, you're the best - just like Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

sellout

Annoying Lit mobile YouTube ad

twitchquotes: So lit mobile just sent me this solar wireless battery pack, I'm excited, lets see whats inside. I really like the build its got really nice grips on the side, its shock proof, and water resistant. The power bank has 20,000 milliamps which can fully charge your phone up to eight times. Its also got a convenient loop for carrying. on the back of the device we have a bunch of solar panels which can charge the battery bank in about 60 minutes. On the top of the device, there are 3 usb ports and 2 of them are fast charging. If you hit the power button 2 times, the led light comes on. If you hit the power button once, the led lights will tell you how much battery you have. There's a micro usb port on the side for fast charging. My favorite part of this device is that it charges my phone wirelessly. there's a red light indicator at the top to let you know that your phone is charging.
twitch chat
May 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing