I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I am going to donate this big bunch of salt to you!
twitchquotes:
This is a very interesting stream Kripp, you always makes me feel better everyday when watching with your oh so sweet voice, i am therefore going to donate this big bunch of salt i saved for you! 
twitch chat
Kripp
Drunk children live outside
twitchquotes:
Hello Reynad my name is Dennis, and I am 12. I drink 3 beers per day because of your stream. Mom said I am going to leave outside like a dog because drunk children live outside. I am sad. please help me.
twitch chat
Reynad
I want a man who is a cunning linguist
twitchquotes:
"Are you sure you've ever pleasured a woman before, poppet?" Mother asked with a snear, unamused by the clumsy performance of a rapper who couldn't use his tongue. "I'm doing my best, yo!" he replied, muffled between Mother's thighs. "You talk a big game, Mr. Dab, but you are proving to be quite a disappointment." The tattoo-faced man lifted his head aghast, his voice raising in pitch, "I got you a limo, yo, what else do you want?" Mother chuckled, "I want a man who is a cunning linguist"
twitch chat
MOONMOON
10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work
twitchquotes:
You know what I hate? The fact that we 10% of the playerbase end up doing 90% of the work due to the "leave it to night crew" attitude. I think we need further actualization on the night counter crew if you will. Have you ever heard the phrase: life is about the journey, not the destination? I want to rally people to act in such a way to benefit the good of the stream. I don't like trolling. Its self sacrificial in nature. I am like Jesus in a sense. I troll only because of your sins.
twitch chat
TwitchPlaysPokemon
I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut
I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life.
After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out-pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out-pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger.
A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. M-mom, dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi-" a single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out-pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty county road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone.
At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out-pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one.
With a free side order of pain.