[Copypasta] Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: ２ ｇａｍｅｓ ａｔ ｔｈｅ ｓａｍｅ ｔｉｍｅ？ ｆｉｌｔｈｙ ｃａｓｕａｌ． ｒｅａｌ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅ ｇａｍｅｒｓ ｐｌａｙ ａｔ ｌｅａｓｔ ４ ｇａｍｅｓ ｗｉｔｈ ｏｎｅ ｈａｎｄ ｔｉｅｄ ｂｅｈｉｎｄ ｔｈｅｉｒ ｂａｃｋ． ｓｅｒｉｏｕｓｌｙ ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ｗａｎｔ ｔｏ ｋｅｅｐ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｉｅｗｅｒｓ ｙｏｕ ｂｅｔｔｅｒ ｓｔｅｐ ｉｔ ｕｐ． ｓｉｎｃｅｒｅｌｙ， ａ ｓｏｏｎ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｅｘ－ｋｒｉｐｐｌｅｔ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy

twitchquotes: Kripp is chained to the chair, sobbing as the man hacks at his face with a razor. He cries as the last bit of his beard is cut away, sapping him of his Romanian gypsy powers. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do whatever you want" says Kripp. The man with the razor laughs and says "Are you ready to accept the deal? Or do we need to hurt Pupparian?" Kripp shakes his head. "I'll do it. I'll stream Final Fantasy." WutFace
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

In the Realm of the Saltiverse

twitchquotes: In the Realm of the Saltiverse, a young Saltkeeper named Kripparrian was chosen to free his people from their ancient enemy, the Mods. Using the magical power of Copy and Paste, Kripparrian sacrificed his salt force to banish the mods to Trump's chat. However, in doing so, Kripparian paid the ultimate sacrifice and became Casual. Please copy pasterino this talerino, so we do not forgetterino the legenderino of the Saltkeeperio Kripperino.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

MODS

salty

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™?

twitchquotes: Woah, is this The Elder Scrolls: Legends™? PogChamp I love this game! (Paid viewer from the TES:L™ Developers)
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

sellout

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