[Copypasta] Why did I marry this angry bald internet man?

twitchquotes: It’s 11 p.m. and i've finally gotten comfortable in bed. It's been a long day and finally being able to get some rest is such a luxury. But my peace is soon broken as my husband shouts from the other room "OH COME ON! That was such BULLSHIT! Fucking highrolled AGAIN." Why did i do this to myself. Why did I marry this angry bald internet man? I haven't slept properly in months for his constant yelling throughout the night. God help me.
twitch chat
September 2020
Kripp
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Whisper solemnly into the dark. 'kripparrian'

twitchquotes: ｗａｋｉｎｇ ｓｕｄｄｅｎｌｙ． ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｃｕｍ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｄｉａｐｅｒ． ｉ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒ ｓｏｌｅｍｎｌｙ ｉｎｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｄａｒｋ． 'ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ．'
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Positive "Give me a second guys" copypasta

twitchquotes: “Give me a second, guys,” Kripp says. “Gotta hit up the bathroom” He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately springs up from his chair and shouts "I LOVE THIS GAME!" before giving Dex a swift pat on the head. As Dex yips loudly in delight, Kripp runs over to give Rania a kiss on the cheek. Rania then tries to take out the trash, but Kripp swiftly grabs the bag from her and does it for her. Elated, Kripp wipes the sweat off his forehead, sits back down, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

When well met, my eye automatically go to the paladin

twitchquotes: ｗｈｅｎ　ｗｅｌｌ　ｍｅｔ，　ｍｙ　ｅｙｅ　ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ　ｇｏ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｌａｄｉｎ．　ｉ　ｄｉｖｉｎｅ　ｓｈｉｅｌｄ　ｍｙ　ｄｉｃｋ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｅｘ　ｗｉｔｈ　　ｔｈｅ　ｒｅｃｒｕｉ ｔ．　ａｌｌ　ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ　ｇｅｔ　ｄｏｗｎ．
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

When a streamer complains it's seen as letting some steam out...

twitchquotes: Wʜᴇɴ ᴀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴs ɪᴛ's sᴇᴇɴ ᴀs ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ. Bᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘ sᴛʀᴀᴘs ᴀ 30150-ALQAIDA ʙᴏᴍʙᴠᴇsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴏɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ 15 ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴏɴ ʀᴀᴅɪᴜs ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ʜɪs ᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ HᴇᴀᴅQᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀs ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴀ Pʏʀᴏʙʟᴀsᴛ... ʜᴇ's ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ sᴀʟᴛʏ?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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