[Copypasta] it's okay take monday off

twitchquotes: It's ok [insert streamer name], take off monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october, november, december. 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023, 2023, 21st century, 22nd century, 23rd century off. you work too hard. :)
twitch chat
September 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020

Wasting time on Twitch, must be me

twitchquotes: No job βœ”οΈ 4Head No girlfriend βœ”οΈ 4Head No friends βœ”οΈ 4Head No talents βœ”οΈ 4Head Wasting time on Twitch βœ”οΈ 4Head Must be me 4Head
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Bear

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–„β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–β–β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022
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