[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Holding Galactic Virgins

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
November 2014
Kripp

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

Roadhogs hook is one of the hardest skills to master

twitchquotes: Roadhogs hook is one of the hardest skills to master... you have to predict speed trajectory momentum and velocity aswell as healing yourself and tanking... roadhog has the heigest skill ceiling.
twitch chat
July 2019

Overwatch

Dear Liberals: Stop putting women in MY porn.

April 2022
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