[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Hydra

⠄⠄⣴⣶⣤⡤⠦⣤⣀⣤⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⣭⣭⣿⣶⣿⣦⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣶⣦⠤⠄⡠⢾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⡛⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣟⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⢧⠄⢻⠻⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠢⣀⡀⠈⠙⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⠈⠄⠄⠡⠌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣳⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢠⣧⣶⣥⡤⢄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠘⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⠄⠄ ⠄⣰⣿⣿⠛⠻⣿⣿⡦⢹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢊⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⣠⣄⣾⠄⠄⠄ ⣠⣿⠿⠛⠄⢀⣿⣿⣷⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⢸⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⣸⣿⣿⡇⣪⣿⡿⠿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠙⠃⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡟⠌⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣦⣌⡇⠻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⠐⣿⣿⡇⠄⠛⠻⢷⣄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠫⢿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣀⣤⣾⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣶⠄⠄⣶⠄⢶⣆⢀⣶⠂⣶⡶⠶⣦⡄⢰⣶⠶⢶⣦⠄⠄⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠶⠶⣿⠄⠈⢻⣿⠁⠄⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⢸⣿⢶⣾⠏⠄⣸⣟⣹⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠄⠄⠸⠿⠄⠄⠿⠷⠶⠿⠃⠸⠿⠄⠙⠷⠤⠿⠉⠉⠿⠆⠄⠄
March 2020

See you in court

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Anne, just letting you know that the DNA test came back positive and I will be seeing you in court to get my child support. Oh and btw she is now 4 years old and asking where is daddy ***, either way see you in court..
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

No mods

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⣶⣶⣶⣶⣝⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼ ⠄⠄⣸⣧⣄⣰⠆⢙⠳⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣽⣂⣈⣁⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣾⣿ ⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⢩⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠰⢿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⡄⣤⡀⠈⠛⣿⣟⢿⣿⡇⠄⢠⣼⣷⣦⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣷⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⡌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠟⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣉⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣤⣄⠈⠉⠁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣾⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣀⣀⣉⣡⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠉⢹⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣾⠄⢰⡆⠄⡇⠄⣿⠄⢸⡇⠰⡷⠄⢸⡤⢈⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣶⣾⣷⣶⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣾
January 2019

MODS

Keep spamming, while I succes at life

twitchquotes: Since my IQ is quite above the average, I will not be joining this spamming festival. I know you would not understand it, just like you dont understand why I have a girlfriend, good job, and big library. Keep spamming, while I succes at life.
twitch chat
June 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing