[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
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How Trump can still win

How Trump can still win: under section 34 of Secure Credits and Taxes act, the president can induce artificial inflation and if the inflation gets high enough, technically Trump can declare emergency powers and not leave the office, google "Trump SCAT inflation rule 34" for more info
December 2020

2020 US Election

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha?

twitchquotes: Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? And I'm referring to Rinne Tensei Madara Uchiha with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted in his chest so he can perform Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as being extremely skilled in taijutsu and bukijutsu
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

Imaqtpizzapie and Imaqtlasagne

twitchquotes: Hello Michael, this is you Italian cousin Imaqtpizzapie. I just wrote to inform you of the birth of your new godson Imaqtlasagne. That's correct you are the godfather. Pls no copy pasterino mafiarino donerino
twitch chat
April 2014
imaqtpie

How it feels to be a CSGO Liquid fan

I wake up from my slumber as the ray of sunlight passes the curtains and falls on my eyes, I sit on my bed for a while scrolling down through social media and then I make my way to the washroom. I sit on the toilet knowing this Liquid roster will never work out and as I defecate and the waste masses exit my body I look down and all I see is the current state of Liquid. As I flush the toilet I see the memories of the Intel Grand Slam run and all the other titles getting flushed and fading away into the pit of abyss. I look in the mirror and the flashbacks of last year's performances hit hard, I grab onto with the sheer force of hope. I hope that we shall rise one day, resurrect as a phoenix from the ashes but now it seems inevitable. The players on the team are way too passive and lord NAF himself cannot do anything. If you want to know how it feels to be a Liquid fan. It hurts everyday, every minute, every second, seeing my favorite team suffer. Seeing my lord NAF struggle in pain. The agony in his face and the sadness that multiplies every time they lose.
March 2022

CSGO

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