[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/201β–ˆ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Jebaited

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣠⣀⣀⣀⣄⑀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣀⣢⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ’·β£„β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β£Œβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘―β »β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ώβ ›β’·β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£€β Όβ Ÿβ ›β „β  β£­β‘™β ‹β ‰β „β „β šβ Ÿβ ‹β ƒβ β Έβ’Ÿβ£¦β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’€β£΄β£Ώβ‘Ώβ ‹β „β’€β£€β£€β£Άβ ˆβ’·β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ’»β †β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣍⠉⠻⠄Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣢⣾⑿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠨⣾⠄ β „β „β „β£Έβ‘Ώβ£©β£Ÿβ£Ώβ‘¦β‘²β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ ™β Ÿβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ˆβ β „ β „β „β „β£Ώβ£β£‰β ‰β ›β ’β ˆβ£»β£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β „β „β ˆβ „β „ β „β „β „β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’·β „β‘Œβ „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β Έβ Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ Ÿβ ‰β Ώβ Ώβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β’„β „β β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β’ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣷⣴⣢⣢⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒀⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
June 2019

Kripp and the Hardcore Police

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ Kripp, this is the hardcore police, it has come to our attention that you RIP in peace above the allowed average hardcore limit. We are here to inform you that your channel prefix must be changed into cl (casual-life) as a repercussion to better represent your current lifestyle. This will be the last warning. ΰΌΌ β–€ΜΏΜΏΔΉΜ―ΜΏΜΏβ–€ΜΏ ΜΏ ΰΌ½ ᴊ
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

Surprised bird

β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„
January 2017

Kamala Harris loves Fweedom

Senator Kamala Harris started her life’s work young. She laughs from her gut, the way you would with family, as she remembers being wheeled through an Oakland, California, civil rights march in a stroller with no straps with her parents and her uncle. At some point, she fell from the stroller (few safety regulations existed for children's equipment back then), and the adults, caught up in the rapture of protest, just kept on marching. By the time they noticed little Kamala was gone and doubled back, she was understandably upset. "My mother tells the story about how I’m fussing," Harris told the magazine. "And she’s like, β€˜Baby, what do you want? What do you need?’ And I just looked at her and I said, β€˜Fweedom.’"
January 2021

2020 US Election

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