[Copypasta] Jealous that Mario got to date Peach

twitchquotes: When I was 9 I was really jealous that Mario got to date Peach so to let my frustration out I turned on Mario Kart 64 and drove Mario off a cliff for 2 hours then went back to writing my fanfiction of me being Peach's bff and bf.
twitch chat
August 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp is actually still living in Canada

twitchquotes: Kripp Is actually still living in Canada, He's Got Artificial sunlight to make it look like he's living in another timezone with Speakers that emit background sound All so that he can get more Euro and Australian Viewers and make it look like he's not actually a vampire so vampire hunters don’t hunt him down. I see through your disguise Kripp Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Stop objectifying Kripp

twitchquotes: I am honestly so sick and tired of people objectifying Kripp. Like yeah I get it he's a hyper-attractive vegan with large muscles and a beautiful aesthetic but that's not the point of the stream. I remember the good old days when he played PoE and everyone was just here for the memes and the gameplay but things have changed. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the healthy lifestyle Kripp has adopted and I find it hard to look away from the camera but it just feels wrong. Maybe I'm just jealous
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

I hate it when people type "xD"

twitchquotes: I hate it when people type "xD" :\
twitch chat
September 2019

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game!

twitchquotes: Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game! (Thanks for joining our Conquest Loyalty Rewards Program! Your selected channel is: nl_kripp. The more you post this message in his chat, the bigger your rewards! 1 Post = 10k Gold/Mana/Wood. 5 Posts = 50k Basic Resources + 3x 8 Hour Rush. 40 Posts = 750k Basic Resources + 20k Rare Resources + 21x 8 Hour Rush. Please remove this part before posting or your program will be terminated!)
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing