[Copypasta] Promoted to mod status

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The broadcaster of this channel has promoted you to mod status. Please press the key combo CTRL + W on your keyboard to activate this. ————————————————————————
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February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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You are now breathing and blinking manually

twitchquotes: monkaS YOU ARE NOW BREATHING AND BLINKING MANUALLY monkaS
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June 2017

7 goals and only 2 nets

twitchquotes: HOW CAN GERMANY SCORE 7 GOALS WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 2 NETS IN THE FIELD?
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July 2014
Kripp

Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
July 2022

Confessions

I cam I saw I came I saw

twitchquotes: I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I praise 🙏 the Lord 😇 then break 💥 the law 👩‍⚖️ I take 🖐️ what's mine 🙋‍♂️ then take 🖐️ some more 😌 It rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆ it rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆
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August 2018

D3 is boring

twitchquotes: Hmm, something tells me that Kripps audience has gotten enough from D3 for most part... Just can't really put my finger on... ResidentSleeper
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February 2015
Kripp
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