[Copypasta] Promoted to mod status

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The broadcaster of this channel has promoted you to mod status. Please press the key combo CTRL + W on your keyboard to activate this. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
February 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro?

Are you really shitting on Pokémon Unite bro? That’s pretty fucking cringe. This is a highly skilled game that requires teamwork. Communication. Hard work. Blood. Sweat. Tears. If your puny mind fails to see this game is all about skill then just go back to playing baby ass LoL you fucking pleb.
July 2021

My instagram explore tab is full of...

My instagram explore tab is full of asian girls. How do I get rid of this so my gf doesn't see?
December 2020

WallStreetBets

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city Start taking anti-depressants hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends) Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge The new suicidal collection from Lego City
December 2020

Lego City

I declare with utter certainty that this one is in the bag

twitchquotes: ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＥ ＧＨＡＳＴＬＹ ＥＹＲＩＥ Ｉ ＣＡＮ ＳＥＥ ＴＯ ＴＨＥ ＥＮＤＳ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＷＯＲＬＤ， ＡＮＤ ＦＲＯＭ ＴＨＩＳ ＶＡＮＴＡＧＥ ＰＯＩＮＴ Ｉ ＤＥＣＬＡＲＥ ＷＩＴＨ ＵＴＴＥＲ ＣＥＲＴＡＩＮＴＹ ＴＨＡＴ ＴＨＩＳ ＯＮＥ ＩＳ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＢＡＧ！
twitch chat
January 2015
DotADeMoN

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

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