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More Classic Copypastas
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Γbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Γbernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.
"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.
Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.
"Got a spare?" she asks.
"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.
"Conversation with me, duh."
I laugh.
"What's so funny?" she protests.
"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"
"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.
"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.
"Teaching, I think."
"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"
"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"
"Bermuda," I say.
"Oh wow. That's lovely."
"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."
"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.
"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
This is why eSports will never...
twitchquotes:This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.
Harambe Rick Harrison
twitchquotes:Hi. I'm Harambe, and this is my Zoo. I live here with my old zookeeper and banana, Big Yellow. Everything in here has a heart and a mind. One thing I've learned after 17 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come over that enclosure.
Hi. I'm Harambe, and this is my Zoo. I live here with my old zookeeper and banana, Big Yellow. Everything in here has a heart and a mind. One thing I've learned after 17 years - you never know WHAT is gonna come over that enclosure.
My laptop gets hot when chat is spammed
twitchquotes:Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat
Guys can you please not spam the chat. My mom bought me this new laptop and it gets really hot when the chat is being spamed. Now my leg is starting to hurt because it is getting so hot. Please, if you don't want me to get burned, then dont spam the chat
