[Copypasta] NOW WE JEBAITED

twitchquotes: Jebaited KAPPA OUTDATED Jebaited POGCHAMP OVERRATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited NOW WE JEBAITED Jebaited
twitch chat
September 2016

Classic

(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Classic Copypastas

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue

twitchquotes: Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QT’s stream to find him sitting in queue… He frantically began tabbing between his client and QT’s stream, then one after the other… both queues popped. “I need the toilet” he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
March 2017
imaqtpie

Classic

League of Legends

HELLO 911 JAKE IS IN MY ROOM

twitchquotes: 4Head HELLO 911 📞 4Head JAKE IS IN MY ROOM 📞 4Head HE HAS A PULSE BOMB 📞 4Head WHATS THAT? 📞 4Head ILL BE OKAY? 📞 4Head
twitch chat
April 2018
OverwatchLeague

Classic

Overwatch

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⡀⠤⣦⢰⣤⣶⢶⣤⣤⣈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣊⡘⠲⣶⣷⣶⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄⢾⡿⣟⡯⣖⠯⠽⠿⠛⠛⠭⠽⠊⣲⣬⠽⠟⠛⠛⠭⢵⣂⠄ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⡷⠋⣴⡆⠄⠐⠂⢸⣿⣿⡶⢱⣶⡇⠄⠐⠂⢹⣷⣶⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⡓⠮⣅⣀⣀⣐⣈⣭⠤⢖⣮⣭⣥⣀⣤⣤⣭⡵⠂⠄ ⣤⡀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⢖⣢⣴⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⠿⠟⣛⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡘⠿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⠱⢿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠰⣞⡛⠷⣬⣙⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣓⡀⠄ ⢡⣾⣷⢠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠷⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⡶⠾⠿⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⠿⡐⢬⣛⡻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣷⣶⣭⣝⣒⣒⠶⠬⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⣐⣒⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing