[Copypasta] 5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!

twitchquotes: 5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population

twitchquotes: Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

YOINK

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢻⣿⠟⢉⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⣠⣴⣶⣄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠐⠋⠁⠀⠉⠉⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⡿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⣀⡤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣷⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⡾⠁⣠⠴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠁⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⠛⢿⣿⡿⠛⣿⡿⠟⠛⠻⢿⣿⡿⠛⢿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⢿⣿⠟⢻⣿⡿⠛⢻ ⣿⡄⠈⡿⠁⢰⣿⠀⢰⣷⡆⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢰⡀⠹⠀⢸⣿⠀⠈⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢠⣷⡀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⣀⣿⣿⣿⣤⣈⣉⣁⣴⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣇⣀⣸⣿⣀⣸⣿⣧⣀⣹⣿
April 2019

Fuck minecraft

twitchquotes: Fuck minecraft. I've had it with this dumb, misleading game. Do you know how much time I've spent digging through my backyard, only to find worms and dog shit? And what the fuck is with those fucked up graphics? NEWS FLASH, the real world is not comprised of blocks but actually of hundreds of atoms, stupid Notch. In fortnite (battle royale game) trees fall down when you cut them, but it stupid minecraft they float in the sky,wtf (what the fuck), where's the immersion?
twitch chat
January 2019

PogChamp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣄⣶⡶⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡦⡟⠻⠛⠙⠉⠈⠄⠄⠈⠻⠛⣾⣦⣤⣀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠽⢿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⠞⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢼⠆⠄ ⠄⣼⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠄⣻⡃⠄ ⠄⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣧⠄ ⠄⢿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣋⣩⣭⣝⣿⣿⠛⢰⡇⠄ ⠄⢸⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⠉⢉⣿⠋⣟⢻⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⡀⢳⡗⠂⣠⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣉⣸⠇⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⣷⠄⢳⣷⣿⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣧⠄⠈⠙⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⢿⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠳⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⢢⣦⣾⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⢉⣽⠇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣄⢀⠄⣀⣝⢻⣿⡿⠒⣀⣀⣸⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⣤⠁⠙⠎⢻⣄⠄⠄⣸⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠶⢦⣄⣀⣣⠴⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
February 2020
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