[Copypasta] 5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!

twitchquotes: 5Head 🍷 Oh, but of course!
twitch chat
June 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am not a simp.

twitchquotes: And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
July 2020

Simps

Trump nuclear ramble

Look, having nuclearβ€”my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart β€”you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the worldβ€”it’s true!β€”but when you’re a conservative Republican they tryβ€”oh, do they do a numberβ€”that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortuneβ€”you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantagedβ€”but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers meβ€”it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was rightβ€”who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisonersβ€”now it used to be three, now it’s fourβ€”but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 yearsβ€”but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.
September 2021

Donald Trump

My pasta is really just not salty enough

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, I just finished writing my most recent copypasta, but it needs something else and I was wondering if you can help. My pasta is really just not salty enough and needs some PJSalt. Pls help me finish my masterpiece.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Y U NO

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December 2020

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan β€˜97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word β€œVOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

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