[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Kripp, this is the value-police

twitchquotes: (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) Kripp, this is the value-police. We are under the impression that you have 1 too many Priestesses of Elune in your deck, please fix this or come with us.(▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up

I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up. The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers. But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian. But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you... BACK OFF... This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
September 2021
Maya

Simps

AYAYA CUTE CHAT

twitchquotes: ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 CUTE CHAT ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 CUTE CHAT ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 CUTE CHAT ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 CUTE CHAT ✌️ AYAYA 🌸 ✌️ AYAYA 🌸
twitch chat
October 2021

Weebs

Anime

Kamala Harris loves Fweedom

Senator Kamala Harris started her life’s work young. She laughs from her gut, the way you would with family, as she remembers being wheeled through an Oakland, California, civil rights march in a stroller with no straps with her parents and her uncle. At some point, she fell from the stroller (few safety regulations existed for children's equipment back then), and the adults, caught up in the rapture of protest, just kept on marching. By the time they noticed little Kamala was gone and doubled back, she was understandably upset. "My mother tells the story about how I’m fussing," Harris told the magazine. "And she’s like, ‘Baby, what do you want? What do you need?’ And I just looked at her and I said, ‘Fweedom.’"
January 2021

2020 US Election

Hmm Today I Will

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠛⠙⠛⢷⣤⣈⢿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠶⠚⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢀⡟⣠⣶⠖⠛⠉⢁⣠⣴⣶⢶⡄⠀⠺⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⠿⠗⢸⡆ ⣾⠀⠀⠀⣴⣞⣉⣈⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣦⠶⠛⠉⠙⢿⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⢻⠁ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣿⠀ ⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣼⠃⠀ ⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⣼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠶⣤⣿⣿⣴⣶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢸⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢹⣦⣤⠄ ⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⢻ ⠀⣸⠃⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing