[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear, "I just had the most awful dream, I was about to be tucked by Kibler!" Trump's bear replies, "That wasn't a dream." As Trump recoils in horror, Kibler smirks, "It seems I'm about to tuck Frump."
twitch chat
June 2015
Trump

I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

monkaW

⣠⠴⠖⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⢤⡀⢀⡀⠤⠐⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠶⢮⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣙⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣹⣷⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣯⣨⣏⣹⠃⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢏⢈⣧⠝⠀ ⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠞⢳⡤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤ ⢦⣍⡛⠒⠶⠤⢤⣤⣤⠶⠶⣛⣡⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⢀⣴ ⠀⠉⠛⠛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠖⠛⢛⣋⡵⠛⠉⠀⠀⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣶⠶⠶⠶⠟⠛⣇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠥⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻ ⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡛⠛⠛⠹⠿⠻⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡶⠿ ⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣄⣀⡨⠀⡁⠈⠉⠉⠛⠻⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠋⠉⢈⣨⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠳⢷⠶⣾⣯⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⡾⣧⣞⠛⣻⠁ ⠿⠿⠷⠶⢿⣦⣤⣦⣰⣄⣄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣼⠟⠀
ascii art
December 2019

Pepe

Imposter broke into my house!

So yesterday I was eating with my family when all of a sudden a “crew mate” broke in through the front door. He had a ski mask on and a gun which was sus, but he a good skin. My father told us all to hide so we don’t get killed by the obvious imposter. I could see him from my hiding spot under the table and he looked sus. So I told my dad “DAD YOU THINK HE IS THE IMPOSTER? HE IS SUS!” I yelled as loud as I could. The imposter found us hiding and shot my father five times. The imposter was so dumb, who kills someone in front of crew mates? I ran to call the emergency meeting by grabbing my phone off the table when I heard my mother get shot and scream for me. Lol she was so bad at among us. My teammates sucked and were dying to the worst Imposter. So I called the emergency meeting and for some reason a S.W.A.T team rammed down the door and killed the imposter. Lol that’s not how the game goes, I think they were hacking.
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I can see you

⠄⠠⢀⠐⡀⢐⠐⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠐⠄⠂⠐⠈⠠⠑⠨⠢⡊⠔⡐⠄ ⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠈⠨⠠⡁ ⠄⠈⠄⠄⡀⢂⠠⠐⢀⠂⠠⠈⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⠄⠂⡀⠄⠈⠐ ⠄⠄⠄⡂⡐⠠⡂⠅⡂⠌⡐⠈⠄⠨⢀⠂⡁⠌⠠⡁⡂⠅⠌⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⠢⢨⣶⡾⢷⣦⡅⡂⠅⡡⢁⠂⡂⡂⢅⢑⣴⣾⠾⣮⣌⢐⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⢊⢿⡏⠡⠂⢽⡗⢌⢂⠢⡁⠪⡐⠄⢕⢸⣿⠑⠡⢸⡿⢐⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠅⡢⡙⠿⣾⢼⠟⡕⡑⢔⠡⡊⢌⠢⡑⡑⡌⡻⢷⢷⠟⢍⠢⡁⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠌⡂⡪⡑⡆⣇⣣⣱⣸⣰⣱⣜⣬⣪⣬⣦⣣⣎⣖⣔⣕⢅⢕⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡑⣬⣺⡾⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣟⣿⣽⣿⣻⣿⣾⢿⣻⣿⣻⣯⣿⣲⢅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢪⢗⣯⡏⠙⣯⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣽⣾⣿⢷⣿⡿⣿⣻⠝⢓⡷⡯⡣⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠈⢝⢞⡿⣦⡀⠙⠯⢿⢷⣿⣽⢿⣾⢿⡯⡟⠏⢁⢤⡿⡝⡕⠁⠄⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠝⣗⣟⡷⣤⣀⣁⠈⠈⠉⠊⣁⡠⣤⢶⣻⢽⠱⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠸⠹⠽⡽⣽⣻⣻⣟⣟⣷⣻⢽⢫⠣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠣⢣⢓⢗⢳⢹⢸⠸⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄I CAN SEE YOU⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
January 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing