[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
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AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

KappaPride

twitchquotes: KappaPride = Rainbow face (no space)
twitch chat
June 2015
Reynad

Harambe I'm coming

twitchquotes: FeelsGoodMan ๐Ÿ”ซ HARAMBE I'M COMING FeelsGoodMan ๐Ÿ”ซ
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Harambe

Fluttershy

โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“
ascii art
November 2014

Are you Pepega?

twitchquotes: VoteYea VoteNay Raise your hand to see if you are retarded or not โŽ Pepega
twitch chat
May 2019
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