[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
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I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an LGM-30 Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missile. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of delivering a W78 nuclear warhead with an explosive yield of 3x500 kilotons of TNT anywhere on the planet at Mach 23. People say to me that a person being a Minuteman III is impossible and I’m incredibly destructive but I don’t care. I’m having Air Force Global Strike Command install new three-stage solid-fuel rocket engines and give me an $86 billion upgrade on my 59 foot body. From now on I want you guys to call me "ICBM" and respect my right to be in service until at least the 2030s. If you can’t accept me you’re missileophobe and need to check your local AFB for missile silos. Thank you, and I'll see you in WW3.
twitch chat
May 2017

I sexually Identify as

Shots 1-5 clearly missed

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
March 2021

CSGO

How will this affect Rick James?

twitchquotes: Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and my brother was taking a shit. I don't know why he didn't lock the door, but before I could leave he asked me to grab him a roll of toilet paper. As I was handing it to him he jumped up and smacked a hand full of shit across my face...How will this affect Rick James?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

American Test Passed

twitchquotes: ✓ Obesity ✓ 💥🔫 ✓ Laziness ✓ Stupidity ✓ 🌵 ✓ McDonald's ✓ Donald Trump ✓ $70k College ✓ Bad healthcare ✓ Bad food ✓ Bad music ✓ Fahrenheit ✓ Pounds ✓ Inches ✓ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
twitch chat
September 2015

Classic

EU vs NA

AYAYA 2

⡿⠋⠄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⠻⣿⣿ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠹⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠹ ⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⡟⢻⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣣⠄⡀⢬⣭⣻⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠃⣸⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣆⢹⣿⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⡇⠄⢛⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠹⣿⣆⠸⣆⠙⠛⠛⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⣡⠄⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠁⣠⣉⣤⣴⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⡄⢿⣆⠰⡘⢿⣿⠿⢛⣉⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⠟⣉⣤⣶⣶⣾⣿⡄⣿⡿⢸ ⠄⢰⠸⣿⠄⢳⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⡇⢸ ⢷⡈⢣⣡⣶⠿⠟⠛⠓⣚⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⠇⠘ ⡀⣌⠄⠻⣧⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠘⠄⠄ ⣷⡘⣷⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡋⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡘⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⡄⢀ ⣿⣿⣷⡈⢷⡀⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠷⠾⠿⠟⣛⣋⣥⣶⣄⠄⢀⣄⠹⣦⢹⣿
ascii art
July 2019

Weebs

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