[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 🤔 and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣 The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5´6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6´7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
twitch chat
October 2018
Tyler1

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022

NaM with okay hand

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⡛⠛⠻⠟⠛⠛⠟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣶⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢱⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣆⣄⠄⠄⠈⢶⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⠄⠄⠙⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⡽⣿⣿⡷⠛⢲⡂⢀⠄⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣇⠈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⠈⣿⣮⣶⣾⡇⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⠉⣀⣤⡀⠙⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡟⡀⡾⣽⣿⣿⡇⢠⡀⣿⣿⡇⠈⢿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀⣆⡟⠁⠄⠖⠎⢻⣿⢧⣿⡇⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣈⠁⢠⣠⢾⣿⠏⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡙⠓⣩⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2019

Buying Monster and adult diapers

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, TidesOfTime is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he rode a boar out the door
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing