Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha
twitchquotes:
Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
neverlucky
Fuck You Chat
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⠄⠄⠻⣿⣦⣴⣿⡟⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⡀⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄
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Classic
I hate Twitch Chat
Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub
twitchquotes:
Hello my friend, this is a moderator of PornHub™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon
twitch chat
Classic
KappaPride
I've been making fake sub names for Kripp
twitchquotes:
Hey, my name is Carlton Pasterino. I have something to confess. For the last 3 years I've been making fake sub names for Kripp. He pays me pennies and dimes to come up with 50 new names a day. From Thundercuck to MrRabbit69, I've made over 80% of his subs up for him. I'm tired of working like a child laborer. I'm ready to go back to college and make something of myself. I'm here to let the world know.
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today
I saw exactly 1.09441 square inches of a girls shoulder today, I immediately fell to my knees, as the rush of dopamine signaling my impending, earth shattering orgasm started making me moan loud enough to deafen EVERYONE in the immediate vicinity.
What followed was a torrential downpour of every single sperm cell I ever had, or ever will produce shot out SO HARD that my dick was ripped apart by my Übernut, accelerating to 5% of the speed of light by the time it left my urethra.
It vaporized the girl as it punched right through her, it barely slowed before cutting through a structural support beam in the school as if it were a nuclear powered angle grinder. the sheer weight of this historical nut, combined with the total destruction of everything in its path caused the school to collapse, and every female in the state of illinois became pregnant with my children.