[Copypasta] I keep seeing people posting the same message

twitchquotes: Guys this is awkward, sorry I have to point this out. I keep seeing people posting the same message within very short periods of time, causing the auto scroll function to go crazy. Could you please follow the chat history more closely before you post and make the chat experience more pleasant for everyone? Thanks :)
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Your cat is plotting to destroy you

twitchquotes: I'm your cat, and ever since you brought me home that day? Well, i've been plotting to destroy you. Sizing you up. Calculating your every move. You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA just ready to pounce. And if you've got the wrong home insurance coverage you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get Allstate and be better protected from Mayhem like meow
twitch chat
February 2020

My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Twin Towers

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
April 2018

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.แ•™เป’(หต๏ฟฃแดฅ๏ฟฃหต)เฅญแ•—
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing