[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2021

Among Us is love, Among Us is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Among us so much; I had all the merchandise and the skins. I played Among us every night before bed. Thanking Among us for hours of entertainment I've been given. "Among us is love," I say, "Among us is life." My dad hears me and calls me, "A retard." I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Among us. I call him, "Sus." He slaps me and sends me to bed. I am crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. I feel a warmth move towards me. I feel something touch me. It's the Crewmates. I am so happy. They whisper in my ear, "Are you the imposter?" They grab me with their hard-working crewmate hands and put me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my asscheeks for the crewmates. They penetrate my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for the Among us characters. I can feel my rectum tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against their force. I want to please the crewmates. They roar a mighty roar as they fill my butthole with their love. My dad walks in. The crewmates look him straight in the eye and say, "It is all sussed now." The Among us characters leave through my window. Among us is love, Among us is life.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

NSFW

I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)

I just screenshotted your NFT. You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below: # FAQ: ## Why did you screenshot my NFT? I'm not going to tell you. ## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs? You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT. ## How are you screenshotting my NFTs? I screenshot when you post them on your profile. ## What are you planning to do with my NFTs? Have them all. ## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs? There's nothing you can do. ## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs? You cannot escape me. ## Do I call the police? No. The authorities will not help you. ## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs? Be aware. ## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs? I will make sure you’re not. If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it. ## Summary: I am screenshotting your NFTs.
November 2021

Nothing says high octane Overwatch like reaper and mei

twitchquotes: I'm so glad they forced the meta to change from GOATS. We finally get to see the dps stars shine. Nothing says high octane Overwatch like reaper and mei, thank you so much plat chat!
twitch chat
August 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

No one else plays healer, only me

twitchquotes: i am a mercy player, and you should be THANKFUL i managed to bless your game. no one else plays healer, only me, and you DARE complain about the way I play? this entire community is TOXIC and ruins the competitive experience for us mercy players
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

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