[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high

twitchquotes: My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
twitch chat
January 2019

Big butt crewmate

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣻⣯⣽⣟⠿⠟⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡹⢁⣴⣷⣿⣿⣷⣆⣤⡀⠠⢬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣿⢸⣿⡖⣄⠹⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⣿⣼⠂⢸⣿⣿⣾⠯⢟⠋⠿⣿⡿⣳⡿⣳⣿⣷⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⡻⣿⢡⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣭⣯⡆⢰⣤⣥⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣤⡈⠛⠛⠙⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⣤⣤⡉⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⢋⣉⣁⣈⣉⣀⣈⣉⣉⣉⣁⡐⠚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠛⠿⠋⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠂⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠈⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢀⣉⣩⣿⣿⣿⠋⢠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⡿⠃⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠏⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Twitch Popo

twitchquotes: Hi Forsen. This is the twitch popo. I heard you wanted me to "come at you?" I'm here to give you the bannerino
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

hey there buddy chum pal friend

twitchquotes: hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...
twitch chat
October 2020

Classic

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