[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This valorant team is fantastic, they just need to work on

twitchquotes: [INSERT TEAM NAME] is fantastic, they just need to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, eco management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, spray, skills use, control and getting kills
twitch chat
June 2021

Valorant

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This scallywag's deck be kookoo bananas!

twitchquotes: ୧༼ಠ益▀ ༽୨ “This scallywag's deck be kookoo bananas!” ☑ “Me deck can nae scourge tis deck!” ☑ “This swab needed precisely them cards to send me deck to Davey Jones’ locker.” ☑ “He top-pillaged th' only card on the high seas that could best me.” ☑ “Thar was naught I could do.” ☑ “I weathered that perfectly” ☑ ୧༼ಠ益▀ ༽୨
twitch chat
January 2015

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

I am bullied for loving the Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀᴛ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʙᴜʟʟɪᴇᴅ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅs ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀʏ "ʜᴇ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ" ᴏʀ "ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴜᴄᴋ ɪs ᴀ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ". ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ. ɪ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴏɴ ʙᴜɪʟᴅ ᴀɴ OJ ʙᴏᴍʙ ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʟᴀᴜɢʜɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏɴɢ
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Kripp please lick knee twice

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Rᴀɴɪᴀ. Mʏ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʟɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴛᴡɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴡᴀʀᴅ ɪ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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