[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'?

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'? We know Kripp is not the best player and he might be a bit slow in the head, but stop pointing out the obvious by typing 'misplay' over and over.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house

twitchquotes: It was dinner time at the Overwatch GAYmer house. Moonmoon dishes up a steamy plate of pasta when he realizes he forgot the meat. Seagull looks up from his plate, the gleam in his eye. "I got the meat right here for you baby" lubing up with marinara sauce Seagull begins to pound his sausage into moonmoons tight lightly buttered dinner roll. The scream of delight, Seagull releases his load, calling an end to yet another successful team dinner
twitch chat
August 2017
MOONMOON

KappaPride

Overwatch

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

Corridor creeper

twitchquotes: 🐛In the dungeon I go deeper🐛in set reviews I was a sleeper🐛when minions die I get cheaper🐛You guessed it right🐛I'm corridor creeper🐛
twitch chat
August 2018

Hearthstone

Mitochondrion is a double membrane-bound organelle

twitchquotes: The mitochondrion (plural mitochondria) is a double membrane-bound organelle found in all eukaryotic organisms. Some cells in some multicellular organisms may however lack them (for example, mature mammalian red blood cells). A number of unicellular organisms, such as microsporidia, parabasalids, and diplomonads, have also reduced or transformed their mitochondria into other structures. To date, only one eukaryote, Monocercomonoides, is known to have completely lost its mitochondria.
twitch chat
July 2017
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