[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Got my cans of spam for quarantine

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ Got my cans of spam for quarantine
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

KaceyTron was found dead in her trailer park on April 20th

twitchquotes: Kacey Tron was found dead in her trailer park on April 20th. The cause of death is speculated to be an overdose of marijuana. All her life Kacey Tron has tried to convince us of the evils of 420, but we did not believe her. Now the Illuminati has assassinated her. Please never 5get Kacey Tron. Stay 420no.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kaceytron

Papparrian is disappointed in Kripparrian

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Papparrian. WHAT THE FUCK? Why are you playing a MOBA? I remember when you were a young boy and you wouldn't dare touch that shit. I'm dissapointed in you son. Rip in pepperonis
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Silver 5, time for NA LCS!

twitchquotes: Hey guys. Me and my friends have always dreamed about joining the NA LCS. We created a ranked team, climbed up all the ranks till we got Silver 5. We have finally done it. Time for NA LCS! 4Head
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing