[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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More Copypastas

Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

My mobile phone gets hot if you spam

twitchquotes: pls don't spam. i'm watching on my mobile phone and it gets very hot if you spam so my hands get burned. if you don't want my hands to get burned stop spamming pls
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑 🍊 🍋 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 🍇 🍆 🐙 🌷 🐷 🍎 🍓 🍑
twitch chat
August 2018

Wojak

───────▄▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄ ────▄▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ──▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ──█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄ ─▐▌░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░▐▌ ─█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄░░▀▀▀▀▀░░█ ▐▌░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░▀▀▀▀▀░░░▐▌ █░░░░░░░░░▄▄▀▀▀▀▀░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░▐░░░░░▐▌ ▐▌░░░░░░░░░▐▀▀██▄░░░░░░▄▄▄░▐▌ ─█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀░░░░░░▀▀██░░█ ─▐▌░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌░░░░░░█ ──▐▌░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░█ ───█░░░▌░░░░░░░░▐▀░░░░▄▀░░░▐▌ ───▐▌░░▀▄░░░░░░░░▀░▀░▀▀░░░▄▀ ───▐▌░░▐▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ───▐▌░░░▌░▀▄░░░░▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░█ ───█░░░▀░░░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▀ ──▐▌░░░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄▀ ─▄▀░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀█▀ ▀░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░▀░░░▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄
September 2018

Kurumx and Soju fanfic

twitchquotes: "THIS GAME IS FUCKIN GARBAGE!" Kurum yelled, voice cracking slightly in exasperation. "What's wrong Huney-Krum?" Soju called out from the kitchen. "I JUST WENT 5TH TO A FUCKIN BOT... and what the hell did you call me, bowl cut?" Kurum responded, still fuming. "Well, you told me if I called you 'My little Krummy Wummy' one more time you were gonna kick my ass..." Soju pouted, his head peeking around the kitchen door frame "Look, if you take a little break, I know where you can still be top 1..
twitch chat
February 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing