[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Together, we can save the universe

twitchquotes: Hello Twitch, it is me, Goku. I need your help to create the ultimate Spirit Bomb so I can defeat Frieza, but I need your help. Raise your hands in the air and prove it by typing \o/. Together we can save the universe.
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Among Us wikipedia entry comment (The Amogus Effect)

To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I want to be a box

twitchquotes: Hello My name is Juan Taquito, and My dream is to become a cardboard box, I go home to my family of 12 children daily, searching online for how to become a box, that is why i will watch BoxBox every day, to learn his ways and reach my true form.
twitch chat
July 2014
flosd

Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing