[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
twitch chat
March 2020

You leave me little choice, evil mods!

twitchquotes: <::::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You leave me little choice, evil mods! Face me!
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Seafood dinner over skype on a dial up internet connection

twitch chat
January 2015
strifecro

Ok, so I main Mercy

twitchquotes: Ok, so I main Mercy all I see is a bunch of posts and comments basically talking shit about Mercy mains. But let me tell you something, you need us. Honestly, do you think it's easy playing Mercy or something? Every time I hear "I need healing" it feels like a synapse in my brain just snapped. Like do you think I'm fucking blind or something? Do you not think I can see the big red target saying "CRITICAL"?? and you guys have the audacity to talk down on us Mercy mains.
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Amazed Face

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▄ ░▄▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄░░█▄ ░▀▀▀▀▀███▄░░░░░░░▄███▀▀▀▀░░░█▄ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░▄▀▀▀▀▀▄░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▀▄░░░░█ █▄████▄░▀▄░░░░░░▄█░▄████▄▀▄░░█▄ ████▀▀██░▀▄░░░░▄▀▄██▀█▄▄█░█▄░░█ ██▀██████░█░░░░█░████▀█▀██░█░░█ ████▀▄▀█▀░█░░░░█░█████▄██▀▄▀░░█ ███████▀░█░░░░░░█░█████▀░▄▀░░░█ ░▀▄▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▀░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░█ ░░░▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░▄▄███████▄▄░░░░░░░░░█ ░░░░░░░░█████████████░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░▀█████████▀░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀
August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing