[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

QTPie, this is your Mother Pie

twitchquotes: QTPie, this is your Mother Pie, I've been told you've been drinking alcohol in your TV show my son, please don't do this to the family. Is it that Pobelter boy making you do this?
twitch chat
August 2015
imaqtpie

To a horse, the world is basically Candyland

Have you ever thought about how, to a horse, the world is basically Candyland? Like they're wandering down a trail and boom, there's just some thistles. And then to the left, a delicious tree. There's just food all over the ground everywhere. Horses seem pretty excited about it.
April 2022

Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hello Kripp, my name is Dong Pegachino with the Dongerinos. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ We're gonna need some "Insurance money" or we're gonna break off your legs and cut off your dongerino. Pls no copy pasterino my frappuchino
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Menacing

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⣫⣥⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠾⢿⢟⣵⣾⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⡿⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⡇⠙⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⢩⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⡿⣫⣾⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣠⣎⣠⣴⣶⠎⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠿⠛⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠉⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing