[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Shia LaBeouf "Just Do It"

DO IT, just DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just… do it! Some people dream of success, while you’re gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you’re not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? … DO IT! Just… DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.
March 2021

I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA

twitchquotes: Earlier today, I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA. He looks very depressed and I asked him, "Whats wrong" He took out 5 Jett knives and said, "WATCH THIS" and carved the furniture into statues of him. He was arrested shortly after.
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

Rania and her Puerto Rican lover in 2017

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

xqcF emote

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ascii art
February 2021
xQcOW

regarding your status as a zoomer

twitchquotes: Hey dear Michael Santana, we’re reaching to you regarding your status as a zoomer. We might feel threatened by your recent choice of facial hair style, remember to stay within a zoomer’s spectrum.
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie
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