[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
twitch chat
May 2014
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My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad

twitchquotes: (◉ ͜ʖ ◉) Hello! My name is Andrey, but most of you know me as Reynad! (◡ ͜ʖ ◡) I just lost another tournament (º ͜ʖ º) But it's okay, I'll be a whiny baaby and complain about my luck
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

I sexually Identify as TheLegend27

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat
January 2017

I sexually Identify as

Right in the face

twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

My dream is to have one full page of KKONAS

twitchquotes: KKona MY KKona DREAM KKona IS KKona TO KKona HAVE KKona ONE KKona FULL KKona PAGE KKona OF KKona KKONAS KKona PLEASE KKona HELP KKona ME KKona ACHIEVE KKona IT KKona MY KKona DREAM KKona IS KKona TO KKona HAVE KKona ONE KKona FULL KKona PAGE KKona OF KKona KKONAS KKona PLEASE KKona HELP KKona ME KKona ACHIEVE KKona IT KKona
twitch chat
March 2016
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