[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trent from high school

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name here] this is Trent from highschool. Remember that girl you liked, Jessica? Yeah we're married now. Sucks for you wasting your life away playing stupid video games. I have a big job in a huge company, a beautiful wife, two kids, and a nice car. What do you have huh? A PC? HA! I own five of those. And your chat is stupid. Bye loser!
twitch chat
January 2019

Tanner from High School

We are watching the Overwatch League

twitchquotes: Please understand, hating Twitch Chat doesn't give you the right to spam poorly written and stupid copypastas that serve no actual purpose. Get over yourselves please! We are watching the Overwatch League!
twitch chat
February 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Hosty and Amaz

twitchquotes: "Hey Hosty, I've got some bad news." says Amaz to Hosty. "But I wasn't ghosting I swear!" he replies, sweating heavily. "It's alright, I won't fire you, as long as you do something for me." Hosty knows what Amaz wants. He bends over and lets Amaz have his way. Afterwards, as he cries on the bed, Amaz whispers in his ear, "I lied. You're fired..
twitch chat
January 2015
Amaz

Boomer anthem

twitchquotes: Please😳 rise 😎 for the 🤨 national 🏁 anthem 🎶 of boomers 🤪 🎺🎺🎺 Video Games 🎮 cause violence 😡👊🏼, Phone 📱 bad 👎, book 📚 good 👍 I hate 😒 my wife 👰 Pause ⏸️ the Fortnite 🥇 please 😤 Funny 🤣 Facebook 😜 minion 🤭 memes 🤪
twitch chat
November 2019

Emoji Pasta

Goblin

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November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing