[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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AYAYAWeird

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ascii art
July 2019

Weebs

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect

as an extreme bee enthusiast, this is anatomically incorrect. I shall take a moment to teach the people about bee excrement. Firstly, to the woe of those into both pee and bee, bees do not pee. Insects entirely lack kidneys, bladders, livers, and more. Now, to the question regarding the post, do bees fart, and if they do, is it an extremely dirty fart at that? Well, lets first discuss bee poop. bees mostly use everything when making honey, which is basically pure energy and nutrients. Bee poop is mostly undigested pollen grains and more complex sugars. A bee could poop in your ice cream, and you would be none the wiser. you might even like, it better, for reasons ranging from "culinary" to sexual. Bees are surprisingly clean creatures, and despite bee poop basically being failed candy, bees always leave the hive to poop, they do not poop inside the hive. As for the farting part, it is without a doubt that any animal could potentially have air trapped inside it, and therefore must expel it, however farting as we know it is much more than that. Regardless, a bee would not "fart", and if they did, it would be more akin to a floral perfume than a burst of sulfur and feces. also the head and legs look a bit weird, 4/10
May 2022

If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019

I'm tired of this terrible chat

twitchquotes: I'm tired of this terrible chat. I make thoughtful comments and cheer the teams on, but then chat spams and my comment gets lost. I might as well just spam PunchTrees 7 like the rest of you...
twitch chat
April 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

there I was, finalizing my reddit post

twitchquotes: there I was, finalizing my reddit post complaining about moonmoons RP, when I heard my mom call me for dinner. Chicken tendies, my favorite. Tonight was the night I was meeting her new boyfriend. I walked downstairs, ready to eat my tendies. I looked up at who was sitting at the table. It was HIM. Bald, small beady eyes, and smelled like cats. It was MoonMoon_OW. And he was fucking my mom. “Why would you do this to me?!” I screamed at my mother, and ran upstairs to make another reddit post
twitch chat
May 2019
MOONMOON
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