[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Pikachu eyes

♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▀████▀▄▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀▄█ ♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄♂♀♂♀▄▄▀▀█ ♂♀♂▄♂♀♂♀♂♀♂█░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀▀▄░░▄▀ ♀▄▀░▀▄♀♂♀♂♀♂▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄▀ ▄▀░░░░█♀♂♀♂♀♂█▀░░░▄█▀▄░░░░░░▄█ ▀▄░░░░░▀▄♂♀♂█░░░░░ 👁️ ░░░░░ 👁️ █ ♂♀▀▄░░░░▄▀♂█░░░▄██▄░░░▄░░▄░░▀▀░█ ♀♂♀█░░▄▀♀♂█░░░░▀██▀░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░▄▀ ♂♀█░░░█♀♂█░░░░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░░▄
September 2018

Pokemon

DickButt

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▄░▄░█░░ ░▄▄░░░░░▄▀░░░░▄▄▄▄█░░ █░░▀▄░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░█░░ ░▀▄░░▀▄░░░░█░░░░░░█░░ ░░░▀▄░░▀░░░█░░░░░░█░░ ░░░▄▀░░░░░░█░░░░▄▀░░░ ░░░▀▄▀▄▄▀░░█▀░▄▀░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░█▀▀█▀▀░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░▀▀░▀▀░░░░░░░░
August 2015

Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros

twitchquotes: Hello. I am a 15 year old Rhinoceros. The only problem is that my horn on my head is soft and limp. As you may know this is very devastating to a rhino like myself. If there are any rhinos out there that can help me with my problem it would be appreciated. Please dont copy paste this. This is my story.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kolento

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

B emoji

⠀⣠⡶⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢶⣄⠀ ⣼⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠁⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠻⠿⠟⠋⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing