[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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My favorite character is the reaper guy

twitchquotes: My favorite character is the reaper guy. he is very powerfull. special move, honestly is one of the best in the game and so he comes equipped with these two revolvers and only takes about 3 or 4 shots to actually execute a kill so it comes really in handy specially when you come from the side.
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November 2018

Overwatch

I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Timmy Nook from Animal Crossing so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to Nook’s Cranny I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Timmy Nook. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Timmy Nook’s tight tanuki asshole. I want him to have my mutant human/tanuki babies. Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with a raccoon I found in the trash. I'd dressed him in my dad’s Hawaiian shirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my Nintendo Switch. I might not ever get to see Timmy Nook again.
July 2021

Plankton

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ascii art
September 2021

Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
April 2014

Classic

Anime girl 15

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣀⠸⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⠝⠋⠀⠀⠀⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⢸⠸⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠊⣽⣿⣿⣿⠁⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⣠⡏⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠾⣿⣟⡻⠉⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠋⣿⡿⠚⠋⠁⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⡄⠀⣳⡶⡦⡀⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⡇⡿⠉⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠽⢲⠇⠣⠐⠚⢻⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣾⡏⣷⠀⠀⣼⣷⡧⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⠳⣿⣇⢈⣿⠟⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⢿⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣝⣿⣦⡑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣷⣿⣿⠃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⣤⣾⣿⣿⡿⠻⡏⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿⣟⢦⡸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡰⠋⣴⣿⣟⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠁⠸⣿⢻⣦⠉⢆⠀⠀ ⢠⠇⡔⣿⠏⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣜⣛⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠹⣷⡈⡄⠀ ⠀⡸⣴⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⡇⡇⠀⢻⡿⡇⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣰⠿⠤⠒⡛⢹⣿⠄ ⠀⣿⣷⡆⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⠟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀ ⠀⠈⠿⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⢞⠌⡹⠁⠀⠀⢻⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢳⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⡇⠁⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⢸⠀⠀⡀⠂⠀⠀⠐⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠕⣠⡄⣰⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⠠⡪⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⣽⡋⠭⠶⠮⢽⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣓⣽⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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February 2021

Weebs

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