[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

We found this new site called CSGO Lotto

twitchquotes: We found this new site called CSGO Lotto—so I'll link it down in the description if you guys want to check it out. We were betting on it today and I won a pot of like $69 or something like that, so it was a pretty small pot, but it was like the coolest feeling ever. I ended up following them on Twitter and stuff, and they hit me up and they're talking to me about potentially doing like a skin sponsorship.
twitch chat
August 2016
TmarTn

CSGO

Fancy Schmancy F

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⢶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⡄⠀ ⢠⣾⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⣸⠇⠈⣿⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⡀ ⢺⣿⡀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠇ ⠈⠛⠿⠶⠚⠋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣴⡆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡞⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⠻⣿⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⠟⠉⠙⢿⡟⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠈⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
July 2019

k3soju bt diff kiyoon fanfic

twitchquotes: Soju and kiyoon lying on their deathbed talking about good old set 5. Soju: Remember how broken BT was hehe. Kiyoon: Yeah haha. The nurse comes in with Sojus daily blood transfusion (BT), what she didnt know is tha kiyoon had paid off the nurse to give him the wrong blood. Soju: Kiyoon im dying, i got downgraded so hard. IK soju, ik... goodbye old friend. Fucking BT diff soju whispers with his last breath...
twitch chat
May 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Jared 10 years later...

twitchquotes: Ten years later, after retiring from Dignitas, Jared quit league, settled down, and found a girl he loved. Everything was going great until one night, after an incredibly romantic dinner, she dropped to her knees and proposed to Jared. As she opened the small box in her hands, Jared gasped when he saw the stone: two diamonds. His future wife leaned up next to his ear, slipped the ring on his finger, and whispered, "Don't be a p ussy."
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

Wreck-it Ralph

████████████████████████████████ ██████▓▓▓▓█████▓▓▓▓████▓▓▓▓█████ ████████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓██▓▓▓▓███████ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █████▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█████ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █████▓▓▓▓▒▒██░░░░░░██▒▒▓▓▓▓█████ ███▓▓▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒██▓▓██▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓███ █▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓▒▒────▒▒────▒▒▓▓▒▒▒▒▓▓█ ███░░▒▒▓▓░░──██░▒██──░░▓▓▒▒░░███ ███░░░░▓▓░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░▓▓░░░░███ ███████░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░░███████ ███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███████ █████░░░░██▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀██░░░░█████ █████░░████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████░░█████ █████░░██████████████████░░█████ █████░░██▒▒██▓▓▓▓▓▓██▒▒██░░█████ █████░░██▓█▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▓██░░█████ █████░░████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████░░█████ ███████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░███████ █████████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█████████ ████████████████████████████████
ascii art
September 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing