[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Who is Octavian Morosan

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Kripp

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League of Legends

Infected with the Dank Pasta Virus

twitchquotes: bᎽ ᏒᎬᎪᎠᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᎥs mᎬssᎪᎶᎬ ᎽᎾu ᎪᏒᎬ ᏁᎾᎳ ᎥᏁfᎬᏟᏆᎬᎠ ᎳᎥᏆh ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus. ᏆᎾ ᎶᎬᏆ ᏒᎥᎠ Ꮎf ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus, ᎽᎾu musᏆ ᏢᎪss ᎥᏆ ᎾᏁ ᏆᎾ ᏆhᎬ ᏟhᎪT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I'm cured!!
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May 2016
Kripp

if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS"

if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS" 69 times, these mysterious figures known as "The Police" will knock you out, and you'll end up in a cell with a man nicknamed "BIG JOHN". pretty scary, right?
June 2021

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Go to horny jail

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August 2021
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