[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

LEC aka Legendary Elite Conference

twitchquotes: LEC - aka “Legendary Elite Conference,” is a League for Riot Games that is often acclaimed for its limitless pool of talent and innovative gameplay. It is specifically known for embarrassing a certain minor region in the fastest MSI Finals ever.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Jared wakes up in the middle of the night

twitchquotes: Jared wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. The moon shines high in the starless sky its light upon Jared. It illuminates his, pale almost ghostly face, he is sweating yet he feels so cold. From his lips only one word is whispered "Diamond III" he shivers for this word is a mortal reminder of his haunting nightmare. He tries to calm himself reassuring it was all but a bad dream. He looks up, a surrender vote blinking in the dark, and in the background qtpies maniacal laugh
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

I was talking about TSM

twitchquotes: My mom just entered my room and asked me to stop watching garbage. I told her that League of Legends was a respectable esport with millions of player around the world. She responded: “I know. I was talking about TSM, they’re trash” KEKW.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

I'm laughing straight to da bank with this

twitchquotes: ι'м ℓαυgнιηg ѕтяαιgнт тσ ∂α вαηк ωιтн тнιѕ! ♪♪♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ » ♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪» ♪♪нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ ♪♪нαω нαω нαω нααααω, нαω, нαω! ♪♪ » ♪♪ нαω нαω нαω нααααω
twitch chat
April 2014
Trick2g

Hello NA? Enjoy your vacation

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO NA? 📞 4Head EU HERE 📞 4Head ENJOY YOUR VACATION 📞 4Head
twitch chat
May 2017

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing