[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

People Who Fake Disorders Be Like

Red is the color of blood and that’s offensive and scary. Please refrain from using or ever mentioning the color red, as that is a trigger for me. A trigger of what you ask? One of my 20 disorders. ADHD, DID, Tourettes, OCD, anxiety, BPD, depression, OSDD, PTSD, Obesity, CPTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis, anorexia, and many many more. Prove it? Oh, let me switch real fast tics and throws phone across room OwO h-h-hello… this is Dream 🎾 (he/they) (5 years old) (trauma holder) uwu. You were just speaking to Zay🔥 (they/them) (22 years old) (Leader of the system) OwO do you be-be-believe me now? Sorry for the stutter, I was born with it 🤪😘🥸😘🥸 *switches back to Zay🔥 (They/them) (22 years old) (leader of the system) I told you 😎 but you didn’t believe me. Just wait to be canceled by all the Twitter users. Twitter, do your thing 😜
September 2021

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding?

Should We Ban Jerma From Our Gay Wedding? Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been talking and we're looking to get married in the next year or so once it's safe. We've been talking seriously about this and we absolutely want to ensure that TOTAL PSYCHOPATH Jerma ABSOLUTELY does NOT come to our wedding. I was thinking maybe putting up “beware of sus guy” photos around the venue? Maybe watching his tier list videos and picking his least favorite snacks? How can we best do this, do you think? SHOULD we do this? Many thanks. (Oh, and P.S., if there’s a way we could invite Otto without his COMPLETELY UNHINGED RAT FILMOGRAPHER OWNER joining, that would be optimal :) )
December 2021
Jerma985

Fulfill your wish, spam this fish

twitchquotes: SabaPing FULFILL SabaPing YOUR SabaPing WISH SabaPing BY SabaPing SPAMMING SabaPing THIS SabaPing FISH SabaPing
twitch chat
November 2017

Rhyme Chant

Sadge

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September 2020

Pepe

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