[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

LCS, aka "Lowest Championship Series"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Lowest Championship Series", is a League for Riot Games that is often ridiculed for it's ARAM games and questionable Pyke and Jayce games. It is specifically known for it's losing in the fastest international Best of Five
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

EU vs NA

Chat tries to convince Kripp to play Weasel Tunneler

twitchquotes: 🐿 Every minute, a poor weasel dies from starvation due to unemployment. You, yes, YOU nl_Kripp, can make a difference. By playing at least one weasel in every deck, you ensure a living wage for weasels worldwide. Then again, you could just let them starve, the choice is yours 🐿
twitch chat
December 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Wife wants to leave me because of an NFT diamond ring

My wife loves new technology and is into cryptocurrency and so I thought it would be thoughtful to buy her a diamond ring as a NFT. I spent about 3 ETH which is like $12000 CAD. So when she got home from work I told her I had a surprise for her. I put a blindfold on my wife and guided her into our room where our computer is set up. Soon as she opened her eyes and saw what it was, she absolutely exploded with rage saying I was an asshole and was only thinking about myself. She then accused me of spending money on stupid thing and said she’s going to go find a boyfriend. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I was only thinking about HER interests and how happy she would be to receive this new technology. Plus the price of her ring will only appreciate. Stupid real diamonds only depreciate. We have now signed up for NFT relationship counselling. I have been seeking relationship advice but everyone says to buy her NFT flowers or NFT chocolates. And when I did that, that was the last straw. Wife sent me divorce papers and I converted it into NFT. I know in the long run when all these NFT’s moon. She will come crawling back.
February 2022

Kripp and his Flamboyant lifestyle

twitchquotes: Octavian, you are an inspiration. You are not afraid to be flamboyant and admit that you live an alternative lifestyle. I think you are one of the best gay streamers on twitch and you are a great role model. I know some people probably don't understand, but i do.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

KappaPride

George Floyd BLACK LIVES MATTER

⣼⣿⣿⢿⡻⢝⠙⠊⠋⠉⠉⠈⠊⠝⣿⡻⠫⠫⠊⠑⠉⠉⠑⠫⢕⡫⣕⡁⠁ ⣼⡻⠕⠅⠁⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⠈⠄⠁⠄⠁⣿⡮⠄⠁⠄⠄⡠⠶⠶⠦⡀⠈⣽⡢ ⣿⣧⠄⠁⠄⠔⠒⠭⠭⠥⠥⠓⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⡄⠁⠠⣤⠉⠉⣭⠝⠈⢐⣽⣕ ⣿⣷⡢⢄⡰⡢⡙⠄⠠⠛⠁⢀⢔⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⡈⠁⠈⠁⠉⡹⣽⣿⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣭⡭⠔⣠⣪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⡒⠫⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣥⣶⣿⠟⢁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡙⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⠁⢀⠑⠓⠫⢝⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡻⠊⢉⣄⠈⠪⡫⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣢⢤⣀⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⠠⠪⢝⡻⣷⡀⠊⡪⡻⣿ ⡫⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡊⢠⣿⣿⡫⠚⣊⣡⠶⢦⣤⣤⠶⠞⡛⠳⣌⠫⡻⡀⠈⡺⢿ ⠪⡪⡫⢟⡿⣕⠁⡫⠝⠊⡴⠋⠁⠁⠐⠁⠂⠈⠐⠈⠈⠐⠐⠳⠄⠹⣇⠪⡻ ⠄⠁⠊⠕⡪⢕⢀⠞⠁⠄⣁⢀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣠⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⡆⠄⠆⢷⠕⡪ ⣄⠄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⢬⣮⣕⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡫⡪⡵⠄⠁⠄⠈ ⣿⣄⠁⠄⠁⠄⡣⠄⠁⣷⣯⣵⣢⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣠⣬⣟⡕⠄⠁⢀⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠁⠄⡎⠄⠁⠻⣿⣾⣯⣪⣔⢄⣀⣀⣀⡠⣶⣾⣽⣿⠃⠄⢀⣼⣿ ❤️🤍💙GEORGE FLOYD 1973 - 2020❤️🤍💙 ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 I CAN'T BREATHE ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿 ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 BLACK LIVES MATTER ✊🏿✊🏾✊🏽✊🏼✊🏻
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing