[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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Dr DisRespect's speech

twitchquotes: let's talk about about me, let's talk about the 6'8 frame the 37 in verticle leap...the black steel that drapes down my back aka the bullet proof mullet, the google prototype scopes with built in LCD LED 1080p 3D sony technology. The Ethiopian poisonous catapillar aka SLICK DADDY. lets talk about the cabinets right behind me that go 40ft deep that house the other 95% of my trophies, the awards, the certificates, all claiming first place, right? Let me give you a little inside glimpse into the hotshot, video game life style of the two time of the international video game superstar. because thats what the channels about, thats what this domain is about, that is what society is about. you are looking at the new face of twitch and GODDAMN is twitch lucky... thats just off the top of my head
twitch chat
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Don't install Talking Roby

When I was 8 years old, I was searching for apps that were like Talking Tom. I found one that was called “Talking Roby The Robot”, I was curious so I downloaded it and installed it. I played it and I enjoyed every single second of it. I was a big fan of Roby. But when, it was 3 AM, my mom was sleeping so I now could use the phone without mom knowing, Tried the text to speech feature and typed the words “sing like dick”. The robot said “sing like dick”. I almost laughed too hard after seeing that. I recorded it and uploaded it to YouTube. after uploading it, I heard The Exorcist theme playing in the living room radio. I was shocked, I couldn’t move, and then Roby himself came out of my closet and said “sing like dick”. I was crying in fear, “is this a nightmare?” I asked. Roby said “no”. I was scared, this was real all along? And then Roby bled at me with hyper-realistic eyes and said: “666”. I was crying, and then he disappeared. My life has changed after that moment. Don’t install Talking Roby.
February 2021

Only the saltiest one can hold both salts

twitchquotes: PJSalt ___ PJSalt only the saltiest one can hold both salt cans ⎝ Kappa ⎠
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ！！！　Ｉ　ａｍ　ｖｅｒｙ　ｓａｄ　ａｎｄ　ｊｅａｌｏｕｓ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ａｒｅ　ｌｅｔｔｉｎｇ　ｔｈｉｓ　‘‘ｕｎｄｅｒｆｌｏｗｒ’’　ｈａｖｅ　ａｌｌ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｓａｌｔ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｎｉｇｈｔ，　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｔａｌｋ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　ａｇａｉｎ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｍａｄｅ　ｉｎ　ｃｈｉｎａ　ｗｉｆｅ　Ｈａｆｕ　♡♡♡　Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ　ｐｉｎｇ　ｐｏｎｇ　ｎｉｐｎｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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