[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Why isn't NA in Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hey guys I’m new here. But isn’t this a Worldwide league of legends championship? I think It’s really unfair that there aren’t any NA teams, why isn’t such a huge, skilled, representative portion of the playerbase not participating?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Teleporting again, son?

⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⡷⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇Teleporting ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠖⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⠒⢤⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡇again, son? ⢸⠀⠀⣀⢤⣼⣀⡠⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠤⠤⠼⠤⡄⠀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⡒⠒⢸⠀ ⠀⢸⠒⡊⠙⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⣀⣀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⣀⣀⢀⠧⠟⠁⠀ ⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠸⣀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⢉⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢱⡖⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢺⠧⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢄⣀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⠃⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠈⠉⡽⠿⠯⡆⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠣⠀⠀⢸⢄⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡌⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠈⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀ ⢸⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠷
ascii art
March 2022

Are we human or are we dancer?

twitchquotes: ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴏʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇʀ? ζ༼⊙ ͟ل͜ ⊙༽ᶘ
twitch chat
August 2014

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: Ｍｙ ｓｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｄａｙ ｙｏｕ ｗｅｒｅ ｂｏｒｎ， ｔｈｅ ｖｅｒｙ ｗｅｂｓｉｔｅｓ ｏｆ ｉｎｔｅｒｎｅｔ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒｅｄ ｔｈｅ ｎａｍｅ： Ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｉａｎ．Ｍｙ ｃｈｉｌｄ， Ｉ ｗａｔｃｈｅｄ ｗｉｔｈ ｐｒｉｄｅ ａｓ ｙｏｕ ｇｒｅｗ ｉｎｔｏ ａ ｇａｍｅｒ ｏｆ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅｎｅｓｓ．Ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ， ｏｕｒ ｆａｍｉｌｙ ａｌｗａｙｓ ｐｌａｙｅｄ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ ａｎｄ Ｉ ｋｎｏｗ ｙｏｕ ｗｉｌｌ ｎｅｖｅｒ ｐｌａｙ ｃａｓｕａｌ ｓｃｒｕｂｃｏｒｅ ｓｈｉｔ， ｂｕｔ ｔｈｅ ｔｒｕｅｓｔ ｈａｒｄｃｏｒｅｎｅｓｓ ｉｓ ｍｙ ｓｏｎ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ ｅｎｔｅｒｔａｉｎｉｎｇ ｙｏｕｒ ｖｉｅｗｅｒｓ． Ｉ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｔｈｉｓ ｆｏｒ ｗｈｅｎ ｍｙ ｄａｙｓ ｃｏｍｅ ｔｏ ａｎ ｅｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｓｈａｌｌ ｎｏｔ ｂｅ ｃａｓｕａｌ．
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp
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