[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
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More Copypastas

DON'T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS ROOKIE

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO ROOKIE, DON’T MAKE IT TOO OBVIOUS 📞 4Head
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October 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Karma from the vegan produce co-op

twitchquotes: Greetings, kripp! Blessings! It's Karma from the vegan produce co-op. I didn't know you were some kind of internet superstar hahahaha. Send me an astral projection, dude. Btw, did you ever find a way to make tofu edible? It's been a big challenge for me hahah. You have such a kind aura. It's so calming to see you again. You have the address for my drum circle. Peace, my fellow
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May 2016
Kripp

Among Us is ruining my fucking life

I can't fucking take it any more. Among Us has singlehandedly ruined my life. The other day my teacher was teaching us Greek Mythology and he mentioned a pegasus and I immediately thought 'Pegasus? more like Mega Sus!!!!' and I've never wanted to kms more. I can't look at a vent without breaking down and fucking crying. I can't eat pasta without thinking 'IMPASTA??? THATS PRETTY SUS!!!!' Skit 4 by Kanye West. The lyrics ruined me. A Mongoose, or the 25th island of greece. The scientific name for pig. I can't fucking take it anymore. Please fucking end my suffering.
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Bedge

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⢀⠠⢤⣤⡰⡈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⣫⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⡻⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡆⠲⠾⠕⣪⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢊⠇⠉⠑⠻⠅⢀⠜⢹⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⠋⠭⠭⢅⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⡠⠎⠹⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢦⣀⣉⠽⠟⠉⠀⢀⡠⠔⠊⢁⡤⠊⠀⠁⠀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠁⢀⠤⠒⠢⢄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⠴⠒⠊⠁⣀⠤⠚⣡⣴⠟⠊⠄⠠⠐ ⠀⠀⢀⠂⠀⠀⡇⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡠⠴⠒⠉⣠⣴⡿⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠛⠁⠀⡰⠆⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠒⠒⠒⣒⣿⣿⡿⠛⡉⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⢰⣊⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣦⠈⠈⠂⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⡡⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠇⠀⠀⠀⢡ ⣿⣇⣆⠀⠧⠤⣭⣽⣶⣿⡿⢛⠁⠀⠀⠠⠀⠐⠃⠀⠀⠠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸ ⡿⣟⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⢥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣁⡤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠠⠠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡫⠕⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠶⠛⠉⠀⢀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⡯⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠒⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
November 2021

Pepe

Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
twitch chat
March 2020
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