[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Daffy Duck

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠋⢹⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢀⠄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣣⣿⢠⡾⠿⢇⠀⠀⣀⣰⣾⡛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠔⣌⠋⠉⠉⠁⠑⠊⢑⠇⠀⠀⡁⢀⣿⠛⠿⠿⢷⣴⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⣀⡀⣀⣼⠏⠀⠀⣠⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣯⠓⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣠⣤⣄⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡃⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⢿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⢮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠛⠈⢻⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠠⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⢀⠌⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⠜⠀⠄⠄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠒⠄⣀⣀⠀⠠⠐⠊⠂⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠨⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠢⠀⡠⠐⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
April 2021

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

Okuyasu Pose

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠲⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣘⡗⠔⡐⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣿⣠⠐⠞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⠔⢺⣿⢛⣿⣿⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣤⡶⠡⣲⢀⡴⢟⡻⡛⠓⠴⡾⣷⣱⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠘⣟⣏⢤⣽⣷⣦⣴⡴⠤⠄⣰⣶⣟⣏⣈⠐⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⣿⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡿⠙⠿⣷⣶⣤⠥⠦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣷⣤⢚⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⢛⡨⣥⣤⡈⠙⢻⠶⠧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣤⣾⣿⢿⣯⠹⣻⡝⣰⣷⣶⡿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡿⢿⣿⣻⣞⣿⠿⠷⢀⡔⢫⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣯⢿⣦⣄⣘⣒⣛⠶⠊⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡿⢻⣿⢟⣷⣭⣽⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⢿⣿⣿⠯⠺⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢩⣿⣿⣿⣴⣮⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣋⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠺⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣽⠤⡬⠋⠙⢿⣦⣀⡀⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡘⣛⣭⣿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡔⠄⢀⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠧⠖⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
March 2020

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Putin had a private screening of Morbius

Vladimir Putin had a private screening of Morbius at the Kremlin. Rumor has it when he walked out, he burst into tears, called up his top generals, and ordered a full withdrawal of Russian troops from Ukraine. He then flew to Kyiv and personally signed a peace treaty with Volodymyr Zelenskyy, pledging the Russian ruble equivalent of $500 billion to the Ukrainian people to help repair damages caused by the war. When asked why he had this sudden change of heart, Putin responded “I have encountered the Morb, and he has Morbed in my heart. I now believe we must all allow ourselves to be Morbed for the sake of world peace.”
June 2022

Morbius

0 viewers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣥⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2021

Classic

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing