[Copypasta] Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: I’m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what it’s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear “we’re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadas” while having sex my brain is “yes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....that’s a shit load of jalapeños, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit he’s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this up”
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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"Unsponsored Hero Academy 2™ Stream

twitchquotes: It is the 2018 Oscars and Tom Hanks stands at the podium to announce Best Actor. “Boy,” he says, “we got a real competition this year! Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio, George Clooney, anyone could win!” The world holds its breath to see who will win the most prestigious acting award in the world. “Wow!” says Hanks. “I don’t believe it! The winner is Kripparrian in his ‘Unsponsored’ Hero Academy 2™ Stream!”
twitch chat
March 2018

Show us THE decks

twitchquotes: Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Daddy, are the Spammers gone?

twitchquotes: ┻┳| •.•) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? ┻┳|(҂`_´) ,︻╦╤─ ҉ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

I sexually Identify as tyler1

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that I’m fucking retarded, but I don’t care, I’m an alpha. I’m having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me “tyler1” and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
twitch chat
June 2016
Tyler1

I sexually Identify as

League of Legends

Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino

twitchquotes: Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
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