[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. β€œWhat?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. β€œI want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, β€œI want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. β€œUh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Look, kid. You wanna give up?

twitchquotes: Look, πŸ‘€ kid. πŸ‘¦ You πŸ‘ˆ wanna πŸ™ˆ give πŸ‘‰ up? πŸ”Ί Fine. πŸ‘Œ But πŸ‘ you πŸ‘ˆ didn't 🚫 get πŸ”Ÿ here πŸ‘ by 😈 giving 😘 up. πŸ”Ί You πŸ‘ˆ didn't 🚫 get πŸ”Ÿ this πŸ‘ˆ far 🌌 by 😈 giving 😘 up. πŸ”Ί You πŸ‘ˆ didn't 🚫 get πŸ”Ÿ all πŸ’― these πŸ‘ˆ followers, fans, admirers, and πŸ‘ hot πŸ”₯ groupies by 😈 giving 😘 up. πŸ”Ί Don't 🚫 give πŸ‘‰ up. πŸ”Ί You're πŸ‘‰ the πŸ‘ champ. You're πŸ‘‰ the πŸ‘ boshy.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Let us out lettuce points

twitchquotes: Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
March 2019
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