[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

Watch Kripp's stream as punishment

twitchquotes: I'm typing this from prison where we are forced to watch Kripp stream as our punishment. If he gets to 12 wins we will all be let go. Otherwise we will be executed tomorrow morning. Please Kripp, we're all rooting for you BlessRNG
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kappa wave

twitchquotes: ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ:・゚ KAPPA WAVE!!:„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤KEEP THE KAPPANESS GOING ¸„ø¤º°¨ ¨°º¤øº LETS GO KAPPAS !¤¤º°¨¨°º¤øº¤ø„¸¸ø¤º°¨„ ø¤º°¨¨°º
twitch chat
October 2014

I think i need a special vaccine

twitchquotes: 😳 what's this? my heart is beating so fast 💓 I feel dizzy 🤪 what is this tension in my lower body? 🤔 I am sweating so much 🥵 I think i need a special vaccine 🍆 because I have [insert streamer name]virus 🤒🤒🤒
twitch chat
April 2021

Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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