[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

UwU what's this? Nuzzles how are you

twitchquotes: Rawr馃惒馃悐 x3馃構 nuzzles how are you馃槈馃檪 pounces on you馃槢 you鈥檙e馃槂 so馃槃 warm馃馃槇 o3o馃槒 notices馃槸 you have a bulge馃崋 o:馃槸馃槷 someone鈥檚 happy馃槂 ;)馃槈馃槣 nuzzles your necky wecky馃槇馃槜~ murr~ hehehe馃槉 rubbies馃憢馃 your bulgy馃崋 wolgy you鈥檙e馃槍 so big馃槸馃槷 :oooo rubbies馃憢馃 more on your bulgy馃崋 wolgy it馃毇 doesn鈥檛 stop馃洃 growing 路///路 馃槓kisses馃槡馃槝 you馃檪 and lickies馃槤馃憛馃挦馃挦
twitch chat
April 2019

Emoji Pasta

Weebs

Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother

twitchquotes: Hello Children, this is Sandown's mother, I am here to politely ask you all to stop making fun of my son. He has always had social problems and it really hurts his feelings when you guys make fun of him. I'm sure you will all be reasonable about this.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

HELP!!! If you're reading this...

twitchquotes: HELP!!! If you're reading this you're the only person in chat that isn't a prerecorded and scripted person yet. Get out before you become...one as we-... Dank Memes
twitch chat
June 2015
TidesOfTime

Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Viewbots

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing