[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Let us out lettuce points

twitchquotes: Lettuce (Lactuca sativa) was first discovered by Octavian Morosan in 2019. A leafy, green vegatable, he named it lettuce after the frantic cries from his wife and two dogs chained in the basement of, "Let us out!"
twitch chat
March 2019
Kripp

Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020

TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre"

twitchquotes: TSM, aka "Tiananmen Square Massacre", is a myth propogated by Western governments to destabilize China. The hoax supposedly involved military suppression of democracy protesters using troops and tanks in June of 1989.
twitch chat
November 2019

Nam or die

⣿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⢻ ⣿⠄⠄⡀⠈⢿⠄⠄⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⠙⢿⣿⠄⢰⠄⠹⠇⠄⡆⠄⢸ ⣿⠄⠄⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⣿⡋⠉⠡⠶⠂⠄⢸⣿⠄⢸⣇⠄⠄⣼⡇⠄⢸ ⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⣶⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠰⣾⡆⠄⢈⣿⠄⠄⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⣉⡉⠉⠛⢿⣿⠉⠉⢹⣿⠉⠉⢉⣉⣉⣉⣹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⡆⠄⢈⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⢈⣉⣉⣉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠉⠉⣀⣀⣾⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
January 2019

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

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