[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi

Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch embled on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!
July 2019

ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!

ACHOOโ€ผ๏ธ๐Ÿคง๐ŸคงWhat was thatโ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Uh-oh ๐Ÿ˜ฏ looks like you just got ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ the Delta variant! ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ Donโ€™t you know ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธโ‰๏ธ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค’๐Ÿคค the world ๐ŸŒ HOE Organization ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ‘… called it the most DOMINANT ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿผ strain since the start of the ๐Ÿ—“ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘ˆ No more touching daddy ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿง“๐Ÿผ until you wash ๐Ÿงฝ๐Ÿงฝyour dirty ๐Ÿพnasty ๐Ÿคข little ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿผfingers โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปfor 6๏ธโƒฃ9๏ธโƒฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐Ÿงผ and water ๐Ÿ’ง ๐Ÿ‘… otherwise it doesnโ€™t count ๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก๐Ÿคก Time to stop ๐Ÿ›‘ spreading the germs ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿค’and start spreading ๐Ÿ˜งyour legs๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿปbecause everyone ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿฆฐ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿซ๐Ÿฆน๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿงœ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆfrom home! ๐Ÿก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโƒฃ0๏ธโƒฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€ is cumming for you ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ†
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

Coronavirus

COVID

Forsen how DARE you miss lethal

twitchquotes: Forsen how DARE you miss lethal. You are a pro gamer. I look up to you as my hearthstone mentor, perhaps even as a father figure. My dad wouldn't miss lethal, and neither should you...
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Burger King tweet thread: women belong in the kitchen tweet

Women belong in the kitchen. If they want to, of course. Yet only 20% of chefs are women. We're on a mission to change the gender ratio in the restaurant industry by empowering female employees with the opportunity to pursue a culinary career. #IWD - We are proud to be launching a new scholarship programme which will help female Burger King employees pursue their culinary dreams!
March 2021
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