[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
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June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Kripp this is Pornhub LLC

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October 2014
Kripp

Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky

twitchquotes: Every night when I lie in bed, I think about Sneaky naked. For each sexy thought, I stick one of my fingers up my tight moist butthole. I think about his soft ass flesh, tender yet firm. That's one finger. Next I think about his pale thighs, what they would feel like pounding against my anus. 2 fingers. Next up I think about that long, girthy, uncircumsized penis. 3 fingers. No more fingers will fit, so I prepare for my climax. I scream Sneaky's name as I cover my fishtank in warm lovejuice
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November 2020
Sneaky

DIO walking

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡛⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠨⡀⠄⠄⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢁⠼⠊⣱⡃⠄⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⡧⠁⡴⣦⣔⣶⣄⢠⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠭⠏⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡧⠠⠠⢠⣾⣾⣟⠝⠉⠉⠻⡒⡂⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡪⠘⠄⠉⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠃⠁⢐⣷⠉⠿⠐⠑⠠⠠⠄⣈⣿⣄⣱⣠⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠷⠈⠉⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣴⠤⣬⣭⣴⠂⠇⡔⠚⠍⠄⠄⠁⠘⢿⣷⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠂⣠⠄⠸⡜⡿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⡙⣿⣷⣭⣷⠃⣠⠄⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣁⣿⡄⠼⡿⣦⣬⣰⣿ ⣿⣷⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠲⠄⢠⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⡨⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⠐⠄⠈⣙⣩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⠕⠁⠈⢠⢃⢸⣿⣿⣶⡘⠑⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⡉⢿⣧⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⢀⠄⠐⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣨⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠋⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠆⠄⠠⡀⡀⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡅⠄⠄⢀⡰⠂⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

Imagine being Bill Gates right now.

Imagine being Bill Gates right now. You spend 30 years of your life and $50 billion of your own dollars supporting humanitarian causes. You directly save hundreds of thousands of lives in South East Asia by providing anti malaria netting to half of a continent, you drop infant mortality rates throughout the entire developing world by funding vaccine programs including vaccinating 40,000,000 children for polio, and, amongst a plethora of philanthropic endeavors, you fund free educational platforms like Khan Academy so people can have free access to high quality education. Then after donating half of your wealth to charity and pledging 90% of the remainder to charity in your will.. Arguably doing more to better life on earth for humanity than any other human being to ever live. You then hop on the internet only to find a million scientifically illiterate fucking imbeciles that are using the very computers you pretty much invented in the first place to call you a child murdering arch villian antichrist because they watched a YouTube video made by some other yokel with the comprehension of a fucking potato.
February 2021
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