[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
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Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi β€œtraining” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: οΌ¨ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½γ€€οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½„ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½ο½”ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€οΌ°ο½ο½’ο½ŽοΌ¨ο½•ο½‚β„’γ€€ο½—ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½Žο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…ο½Žβ€™ο½”γ€€ο½Œο½ο½‡ο½‡ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½—ο½…ο½…ο½‹ο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Šο½•ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½…ο½ƒο½‹ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½†γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½ο½‹ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…ο½ο½ο½’ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½γ€€ο½Œο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½–ο½‰ο½„ο½…ο½ο½“γ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½†ο½ο½–ο½ο½•ο½’ο½‰ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½”ο½…ο½‡ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€οΌˆοΌ‘ο½“ο½‰ο½ο½ŽοΌ‰οΌŽγ€€οΌ³ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½ŽοΌ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

F2P player

twitchquotes: Hi Trump, nice warrior deck! I'm a F2P player though, and was wondering if you could tell me what cards i could use in place of Baron, Alexstrasza, Ragnaros, Brawl, Death's bite, and shield slam?
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence :)
twitch chat
January 2019

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing