[Copypasta] This offends me as a...

twitchquotes: This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week.
twitch chat
June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Salt is not just a commodity, it is a way of life

twitchquotes: Hailing from the Morosan line from Romania, Octavian "Kripparian" Morosan has, instead of taking on the family business, opted to play a children's card game until three in the morning everyday. His pursuits to seperate himself from the mineral have only made the dynasty wealthier than it has ever been. On Octavian's stream, salt is not just a commodity, it is a way of life...
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs

twitchquotes: (ง╭ರ_•́)ง Roll up thy sleeves and assume position for fisticuffs, foul Moderinos (ง╭ರ_•́)ง
twitch chat
August 2015
Reynad

AYAYA pyramid

twitchquotes: ______ AYAYA only real Ayaa can build the perfect pyramid AYAYA AYAYA . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA And my pyramid still higher!!!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA yes I am very good look!! AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA one more u say ? AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA AYAYA for fun ok !!
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

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Text-to-Speech Playing