[Copypasta] Endgame spoilers

twitchquotes: I just saw endgame, and it was pretty good, but there were a few weird things. I thought it was strange how the Russo Brothers decided to render Thanos’ erect penis in such vivid detail. The veins were so perfectly done I couldn’t even tell his cock wasn’t real. Another thing I found weird was when Black Panther broke the fourth wall and gave the audience the n-word pass. I did appreciate it, but it would feel more in place in a Deadpool movie. Overall, it was still excellent, but I think that they definitely need to reconsider some things.
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
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Szechuan sauce at McDonald's

"Hey, do you guys have szechuan sauce?", I ask the low IQ minimum wage slave. "N-no, sir. We just ran out", he muttered. I was overcome with a primal rage. I jump on the counter, screaming "I'm Pickle Rick!”. The 200 IQ crowd chanted in unison, “WUBBALUBBA DUB DUB” whilst beating their chests towards the cowering worker. I put my shirt over my head and let out the purest REEE to show my devotion to Rick. Everyone else REEEs as well. Yes, my brothers, let it all out. The manger comes in and calls the police, he doesn’t understand the mature and intellectual nature of our cries. We Naruto run to the next McDonalds store as we search endlessly for that sauce.
October 2017

Rick and Morty

Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star

Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019

Throwing you a dislike because

Throwing you a dislike 👎because: ☝: Your comment wasn't epic ✌: It was not funny 🤌: not cute or wholesome 🖐: I'll edit in another reason later Better luck next time. I'd rather watch 5 Mr Bean movies than read that sh$t again...... To my followers: hope y'all liking my new way of roasting redditors. I'm enjoying your feedback and take it to heart I love improving the site and making people better humans because of my replies to them. Beace out ✌
October 2021

Reddit

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