[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Donate so Kripp doesn't have to sell his kidneys in China

twitchquotes: ༼ ºل͟º༽ Please donate so Kripp dont have to go sell his kidneys in china ༼ ºل͟º༽
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

Master Yi is broken

Not likely. I bet you probably go 0/6 against him and come to Reddit afterwards to complain about him so you can feel better about losing. I'm 100% convinced that the same people who like to joke about a Master Yi's "thought process" are the same people who whine about Aatrox and Katarina because they haven't got a clue what grievous wounds is. Every champion has a counter, if you don't understand Master Yi's counter (jungle invading, timing abilities, proper itemization), then why do you bother to circlejerk the "Master Yi is broken" stereotype?
March 2021

League of Legends

We subbed because we have cash, non-subs are trash

twitchquotes: Hey you poor, underaged trash. You know what the symbol next to my name means? Means I am sub. Means im VIP. Means I got cash. What you got? You got sh!t. You poor non-sub trash ought to pay me and my sub-bros some respect. We subbed because we have cash. Real life jobs, real life credit
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Pickpocket hot tip

twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

Trollge from Typical Colors 2

⢿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠹⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠷⠶⠿⢻⣿⣛⣦⣙⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⠏⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣿⢛⣽⣜⠯⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣷⣻⡀⢿ ⠐⠛⢿⣾⣖⣤⡀⠀⢀⡰⠿⢷⣶⣿⡇⠻⣖⣒⣒⣶⣿⣿⡟⢙⣶⣮ ⣤⠀⠀⠛⠻⠗⠿⠿⣯⡆⣿⣛⣿⡿⠿⠮⡶⠼⠟⠙⠊⠁⠀⠸⢣⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠭⣍⡉⢩⣥⡤⠥⣤⡶⣒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡽⡄⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣆⣿⣧⢡⣾⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠃ ⣿⣿⣷⣻⣆⢄⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠘⠛⠛⠛⠙⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⢸ ⢞⣿⣿⣷⣝⣷⣝⠦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿⠈ ⣦⡑⠛⣟⢿⡿⣿⣷⣝⢧⡀⠀⠀⣶⣸⡇⣿⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⡆ ⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣍⡛⠻⢿⣷⠿⣶⣶⣬⣬⣁⣉⣀⣀⣁⡤⢴⣺⣾⣽⡇
ascii art
July 2022
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