[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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No, you are not a “Man of Culture”

No, you are not a “Man of Culture”. You are a 19 year old who has no romantic partner because you have a chronic addiction to anime porn where the characters dont look or sound any older than 13, seriously, the stuff you are watching should be illegal. Getting off to fictional drawings of ambiguous age THREE times a day is not even remotely cultured, it just makes you a sex-addicted pedophile. What’s gotten into you? You’re better than this.
August 2021

Jam a man of fortune xQc

𝒥𝒶𝓂 𝒶 𝑀𝒶𝓃 𝑜𝒻 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓃𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒥 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒𝓀 𝓂𝓎 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓃𝑒 －𝐻𝑒𝓃𝓇𝓎 Æ𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈, 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟦
May 2021
xQcOW

Tuck Frump into bed

twitchquotes: I would tuck frump into bed every night if I could
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Minion Masters turned my life around

twitchquotes: I was sat in my car with the exhaust connected to the window, waiting to die, until I saw an ad on my phone for Minion Masters, at that moment I turned the engine off and decided to turn my life around. Now I have a 12 inch cock and 3 ferraris, and all it took was the $149.99 package (best value).
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March 2019
Kripp

sellout

what's the point in correcting me

what the fuck is the point in correcting me. You think I don't know how to spell "your"? I shortened it to "ur" because I was eating chips and typing one handed and didn't want to bother with those 2 extra letters just to please a fucking lifeless fat neckbeard like you. Stop thinking you're smart just because you can correct somebody's spelling, you seem like a total fucking idiot jackass and I'm ashamed and disappointed that on the internet where there are millions of comments and commentors, I was still stuck with a response written by somebody like you. You obviously knew what I meant, it's not like I spelt "your" as "s;ldkfjs;dlfkj". Take your fucking dildo keyboard out your crusty ass and realize that maybe you have no friends and plans tonight because you're an unlikeable cumstain who repels everybody away like opposite poles on a magnet. The next time you comment like a fucking moron, ask yourself "would I rather write this useless comment or would I rather clean my fucking act up and stop being a little shitter". My New Years resolution is to never have the misfortune of you coming across any more of my comments and throwing up your shitty insight at me.
December 2020
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