[Copypasta] ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS

twitchquotes: ⚠️ ATTENTION ALL HALF LIFE GAMERS⚠️ Father Grigori is in great danger and needs your help to wipe out all of the headcrabs in ravenholm! To do this, he needs a shotgun and a gravity gun. To help him, all he needs is your parents credit card number and the three wacky numbers on the back, and the expiration date. But you gotta be quick so Father Grigori can achieve the epic victory Royale!!!!
twitch chat
November 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Stream snipers

twitchquotes: One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, “Alright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, “Get down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, “Fucking stream snipers.”
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Tyler1 is my future mirror

twitchquotes: No, I don’t jerk off to Tyler1 because I’m gay, I jerk off to Tyler1 because he is what I will become with hard enough training. I can get out of diamond. I can go to the gym. Tyler1 is not a human but instead an idea. The idea of my life working, the idea of my not getting bad teammates (who are always at fault in my games seriously wtf am I supposed to do) and the idea of me climbing. When I see Tyler1 I don’t get excited because I’m gay but because he is my future mirror.
twitch chat
January 2020
Tyler1

KappaPride

United Chat of Kripperica

twitchquotes: Wᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ sᴘᴀᴍᴍᴇʀs ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ, ɪɴ Oʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘᴇʀғᴇᴄᴛ Dᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ sᴘᴀᴍ, ɪɴsᴜʀᴇ ɴᴏ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʟᴇᴛʜᴀʟ, ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ OJ, ᴘʀᴏᴍᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Bʟᴇssɪɴɢs ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ sᴀᴠɪᴏʀ Kʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ʏᴏᴜɴɢᴇʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs, ᴅᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜ ᴛʜɪs Kʀɪᴘᴘsᴛɪᴛᴜᴛɪᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ Uɴɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴇʀɪᴄᴀ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Wide Susie

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October 2021

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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