[Copypasta] Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/not_esports/status/1115258924821819392
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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High IQ to understand Artifact

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Artifact. The gameplay is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the gameplay will go over a typical viewer's head
twitch chat
November 2018

Artifact

T1 new logo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠄⣠⣤⡤⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣻⣿⡟⠋⠁⠐⣺⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⠉⣰⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⣤⡤⢀⣼⣿⠋⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⢠⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
July 2021

I own a musket for base defense (Palworld)

I own a musket for base defense, since that's what the developers intended. Four Syndicate dunderheads breach my front gate. "What the Ignis?" As I grab my cold resistant metal armor and musket. Blow a pal sphere sized hole through the first thug, he's dead on the spot. Draw my make-shift pistol on the second thug, miss him entirely because it's crafted from spare parts and nails the neighbor's Rayhound. I have to resort to my Lamball and the mounted rocket fortification at the top of the stairs. "Tally ho lads" the shrapnel shreds two thugs in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off the neighbors alarm bells. Ready my metal spear and charge at the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the PIDF to arrive since thirty-seven stab wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the developers intended.
January 2024

Palworld

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

Momo

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠎⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡲⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
March 2019
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