[Copypasta] Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/not_esports/status/1115258924821819392
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
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July 2015
Kripp

I sexually Identify as a Bastion

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a Bastion. Ever since I was a transistor I dreamed of being nanoboosted and firing cannonballs on the disgusting enemy team. People tell me that being a Siege Automaton is impossible but I don't care, I'm overpowered. I’m having a plastic surgeon install treads, a gattling gun and a nanoboost on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me BOOSTED and respect my right to take 35% less damage 100% of the time. If not, you're an omnic-phobe and need to check your human privileges
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

I sexually Identify as

10 years since Dota 2 update

twitchquotes: １０　ｙｅａｒｓ　ｓｉｎｃｅ　Ｄｏｔａ　２　ｕｐｄａｔｅ．　Ｉ　ｗａｌｋ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｅ ｍｐｔｙ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ　ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｅｌｓｅ　ｂｕｔ 　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｅｎｄ　ｕｐ　ｓｉｔｔｉｎｇ　ｈｅｒｅ，　ｉｎ　ｆｒｏｎｔ　ｏｆ　ｍｙ　ｃｏｍｐ ｕｔｅｒ．　Ｉ　ｓｔａｒｅ　ａｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｃｒｅｅｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｈｏｕｒｓ　ａｎｄ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｓ ｕｍｍｏｎ　Icefrog．　Ｉ　ｗａｔｃｈ　ｏｔｈｅｒ　ｇａｍｅｓ　ｕｐｄａｔｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｇｅ ｔｔｉｎｇ　ｎｅｗ　ｈｅｒｏｅｓ　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ　ｉｓ　ｎｏ　ｇｏｏｄ．　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｎｔｅｒ　ｐｉｃｋ 　Ｓｎｉｐｅｒ　ｔｏ　ｒｅｓｉｓｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｅｔａ，　ｂｕｔ　ｉｔ'ｓ　ａｌｌ　ｍｅａｎｉｎｇｌｅ ｓｓ．　Ｔｈｅ　ｅｎｄ　ｉｓ　ｎｅａｒ．　Ｔｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｌｏｏｋ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｔｃｈ－ｕｐｄａ ｔｅ　ｈｉｓｔｏｒｙ　ａｎｄ　ｃｒｙ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｔｏ　ｓｌｅｅｐ．
twitch chat
April 2015
SingSing

Dota 2

You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
twitch chat
August 2017
Sneaky

Japan heart surgeon and yakuza boss

In Japan 🇯🇵 , heart surgeon ❤️👨‍⚕️ . Number one 😭☝️ . Steady hand😳✋️. One day, Yakuza boss 🙇🏻need 🆕 heart💘. I do operation🔪⚔️. But, mistake😱! Yakuza boss die😵😪! Yakuza very mad👿. I hide🙈 in fishing boat🐟🚣🏻‍♀️, come to America🎇🎊🇺🇸. No english🤐, no food😩, no money📉🚫💲. Darryl 👨🏿give me job🙌👨🏻‍💼. Now I have house🏡, American car 🚗 , and new woman 🆕👱🏻‍♀️. Darryl 👨🏿save life⛑. My big secret🙊: I kill ☠️yakuza boss on purpose😈. I good 👍surgeon. The best👌💯!
July 2019

Emoji Pasta

Classic

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