[Copypasta] Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Thanks Kripp for saving my marriage!

twitch chat
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Kripp

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan β€˜97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word β€œVOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
December 2021

WallStreetBets

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021

In Korea, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, Kim Jong Un need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Kim Jong Un die! SSD very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill Kim Jong Un on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

Dance party

β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘β–β–β•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘β–Œβ–Œβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░ DANCE PARTY β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘ β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘β–‘β”Œβ”€β”€β”β–‘β–‘β•”β•‘XXβ•žβ•β–‘ β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β•šβ•‘XXβ•žβ•—β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β””β•₯β•₯β”˜β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ•šβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░░░╝╝░░░░░░░░░░
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing