[Copypasta] Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019
From this tweet: https://twitter.com/not_esports/status/1115258924821819392
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Art of Conquest is the best!

twitchquotes: (sponsored viewer): Hey Kripp! I just saw your Youtube video about Art of Conquest! It looks like such an amazing free game with a lot of wonderful content and replayablility. I was wondering you were going to play Art of Conquest on stream for us tonight? It would be a privilege to watch such a skilled gamer with a positive attitude such as yourself play this mind-bogglingly complex game. Thanks Kripp, you're the best - just like Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

sellout

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021

Butt-Head

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠋⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⣀⣤⡀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠾⣿⣯⡹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣬⣤⠹⡿⢣⣶⣼⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⣛⡿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⡻⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢻⣿⣿⡶⠶⠶⢿⣿⡟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
July 2022

Chuck Testa and Cattarian

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Byron, you have such a beautiful smile

twitchquotes: Byron, you have such a beautiful smile, luscious lips, smooth skin, gorgeous bald spot and an amazing STICC body, can I eat your ass? :)
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing