[Copypasta] You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activate————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

Space Spam

twitchquotes: Everybody get up, it's time to spam now We got a real spam goin' down Welcome to the Space Spam Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Spam, alright Come on and spam and welcome to the spamCome on and spam, if you wanna spam
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Positive "Give me a second guys" copypasta

twitchquotes: “Give me a second, guys,” Kripp says. “Gotta hit up the bathroom” He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately springs up from his chair and shouts "I LOVE THIS GAME!" before giving Dex a swift pat on the head. As Dex yips loudly in delight, Kripp runs over to give Rania a kiss on the cheek. Rania then tries to take out the trash, but Kripp swiftly grabs the bag from her and does it for her. Elated, Kripp wipes the sweat off his forehead, sits back down, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

What makes me a good Demoman? Meet the Demoman

What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
January 2024

Team Fortress 2

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