[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
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I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021

Applejack

▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓░▐▌░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒░░▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓ ▓▓▒░░░░░░▀▀███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▓▓▒░░░░░▌▄████▌░░▒▒▒▒▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒░░.’.░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

Hypers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠙⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⢠⣶⡷⠶⠚⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠻⡃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⠠⠟⠉⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣉⠉⢀⣠⠤⠒⢒⠶⠚⠓⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠈⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠌⣀⣀⡀⠄⠊⠁⣠⠄⡀⠈⠻⣶⣄⢻⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⢁⣤⢠⡄⢨⠹⣿⣷⡄⣾⣿⠀⠄⠘⠂⣿⣿⢣⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⢴⣿⣿⠀⠂⠈⠀⠸⠟⠘⠻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠈⡰⡿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣉⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡿⢧⡇⠀⣾ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣯⣙⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣋⣭⣥⡖⡿⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⡀⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡶⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣾⣦⣄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⣭⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Keanu Reeves you're breathtaking

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⢳⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀ ⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⠸⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠐⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠒⣋⣙⡒⢰⠀⠤⣖⠒⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠸⠀⡇⠉⠉⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⣿⣿⣧⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⣸⠸⣿⣿⠿⠰⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⡠⠙⣲⣔⣅⢡⣰⣷⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡿⠭⠭⠭⠭⢿⠀⣿⢻⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣿⢻⠹⣿⠐⠙⠛⠟⠉⢀⣴⡟⢿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠀⠀⠻⣦⣤⣶⠾⠋⠀⠀⠁⡦⢄⢀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠁⡇⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠔⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁ ⠀⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠑⡤⠤⢎⠁⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢢⠠⠀⡠⢆⠀⠀⡠⠙⢄⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You're breathtaking
July 2019

That hunk of a man, Blank

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, Blank, is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. He could be a freakin model. Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. That is by far the hottest sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. I'd let him blunk me any day.
twitch chat
July 2018
LCK

League of Legends

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