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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with βyes daddy, spank me harder!β (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with βwhatβs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?β
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donβt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeβs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donβt know if I can ever have sex again
Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi
twitchquotes:
(ββΏββΏ) Dear Weebs in the chat, you are sugoi. Whatever is going on in your kokoro right now, please know that you are kawaii and your story is not a filler. You are loved (ββΏββΏ) 
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Weebs
Something about Qtpie's play...
twitchquotes:
i'm lying on my bed watching Qtpie stream.. my knees are up.. i'm trying to close my legs... but something about Qtpie's play makes me want to force my hands.. lower.. and lower.. i'm so embarassed...my fist is clenched so tight.. as i bite hard.. on my lips
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imaqtpie
You have been gifted a waifu
You have been gifted a waifu. Type 
to activateββββββββββββββββββββββββYou ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!
You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.