twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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Rick
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣅⣀⣀⣌⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⢶⡌⢻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣧⣶⣦⣄⢀⣤⣶⣦⣄⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣀
⠀⣰⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁
⠀⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠻⠿⠟⡃⠀⠻⠿⠿⠟⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀
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⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢀⣼⡧⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣍⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠈⠽⢷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠂⠀⢠⣿⡍⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣼⠉⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣡⢽⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠃⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣷⣶⡄⢠⠎⠀⠀⣰⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⡄⠈⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⢀⡇⠀⣰⠋⠀⣤⣼⠏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣷⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀
⢀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠈⣇⣵⠃⠀⢠⣿⡏⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢹⡆⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀
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My boss recently discovered Among Us
Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
Among Us / Amogus
Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it
Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
Ahegao 2
⣿⡇⠘⡇⢀⣶⣶⠄⠈⣾⡟⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⢾⢃⣿⣿⡟⣸⢸⣿⣿⣸
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⣼⡏⡀⠄⢀⢿⣿⣿⡟⣾⡇⣿⡿⣡⢁⣿⣿⣫⡶⢃⡵⣡⣿⣮⡻⡇⣿⢸⣮⢿
⣿⡇⣧⢠⠸⡎⡍⡭⢾⡏⣧⢋⢾⠏⣼⣿⣿⠿⣵⣾⣕⠿⣿⣿⣷⢡⠏⣾⣿⣿
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⡇⠄⠸⣿⢸⣿⣶⡄⣇⠃⡇⡄⡇⠁⠃⠄⠈⢊⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿
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⡇⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡿⢰⡇⠆⠲⠶⣝⠾⠸⢴⢠⠄⠇⢸⢸⠄⡶⡜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏
⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⡇⠧⢣⣸⣦⣄⣀⠁⠓⢸⣄⠸⢀⠄⡀⡀⡪⣽⣿⣿⢿⣿⢟⣬
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢧⠯⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠰⣷⠄⣿⣇⡿⠄⡀⠦⣰⣿⡿⣱⣿⡏⢾⣫
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣌⢌⢿⣿⣿⠇⠼⢃⢠⢇⣻⣧⣿⡡⣸⣿⠿⢁⡟⢁⣳⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⢝⣒⣒⠰⣘⣴⡧⠿⣿⣛⡯⣱⡿⣫⢎⣪⣎⣿⣧⢻⠿
I'M GOING UP THE CHAT ELEVATOR