twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Back from my 600 seconds timeout
twitchquotes:
Hello guys, I'm back from my 200 seconds timeout. During that time I was able to finish my 200 words essay on the topic of Nazi Germany. My thesis is that Hitler & Nazi beliefs are carried on by twitch tv Nazi moderators who like to act as if they themselves were literally Hitler. I think I should score at least 90 out of 100 points for that paper. Pls no coperino my paperino.
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MODS
Being a hentai actress must be so weird
Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: youβre in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000Β₯ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
Weebs
Mutant Seagull
This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us
twitchquotes:
(β© Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)ββ This is Wildcard Region Police, NA you are coming with us (β© Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)ββ
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League of Legends
EU vs NA
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner
twitchquotes:
Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me 
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