twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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I used to be a real ad
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Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row
twitchquotes:
After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
Sneaky
Teamfight Tactics
Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft
Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
TWITCH RAIN
twitchquotes:
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ ββοΎ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎβοΎ. * TWITCH RAINοΎ ο½‘οΎβ. * ο½₯ ｑοΎββ ββββββββββββββββββββββββ 
twitch chat
I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ
I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ.
Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af.
Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
TIFU: By slapping my wifeβs ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with βyes daddy, spank me harder!β (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with βwhatβs wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?β
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I donβt think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wifeβs ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and donβt know if I can ever have sex again