twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Jerma crushed by a CRT television
On September 20th, 2018, authorities arrived on the scene Thursday to find Jerma (Jeremy “Nine-hundred eighty-five” Elbertson, 32) dead on the scene. Medical experts say he died from natural causes after being pinned under a CRT television weighing only 35 pounds.
Jerma985
My eyelids are heavy
twitchquotes:
My eyelids are heavy 
Im starting to dream you know what this tells me? its a qtpie stream
Im starting to dream you know what this tells me? its a qtpie stream
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imaqtpie
Spaghetti out of Kripp's underwear
Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught
twitchquotes:
Andrew Tides "The Turncloak" Biessnener was caught today at Dulles Airport trying to fly to Moscow. He was found carrying top secret American Hearthstone decks built by Reynad. He planned on passing them to Russian KGB agent, Kolento Pistolev. As he was arrested Tides shouted, "Death to America!"
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Reynad
Do you know who else didn't pet cats?
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp, do you know who else didn't pet cats? Hitler. Hitler didn't pet cats. Do you want to be a Nazi too?
twitch chat
Kripp