[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
twitch chat
November 2019

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning πŸŒ„, masculinity πŸ’ͺπŸ†πŸ‘€ is NO 🚫❌ LONGER πŸ“ LEGAL πŸŒβš–. If you πŸ‘ˆ are masculine πŸ‘΄, please πŸ™πŸ™‡β€β™‚οΈ report πŸ“„ to your πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ nearest πŸ’ž Femboy πŸ‘—πŸ’β€β™‚οΈ Education πŸŽ“ Center 🏒✈, clean-shaven and wearing πŸ‘•πŸ‘–πŸ‘ž thigh-high socks 🧦. Those who fail 🚫 to follow πŸ‘£ these orders πŸ“‘πŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED ❌🚷😑.
December 2020

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

This is the shittiest reply ever Modern Warfare version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Modern Warfare requires movement, camping, claymoring, rotating, and hitting shots. There are not β€œpositions” in Modern Warfare. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing