[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Spending New Year on Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: No Friends BibleThump 👍 No Girlfriend BibleThump 👍 Spending New Year on Twitch Chat BibleThump 👍 Must be us chat BibleThump
twitch chat
January 2018

weedie-chan

h-hewwo...owunce of weed pwease >///< arigato... dealer-kun puts weedie-chan in bong and inhales waaah!! (╯✧▽✧)╯ daisuki cannabis desu~! (^ ω ^ )uwaaa! weedie-chan i feel so kimochi!!(〃°ω°〃) hehe~ ur deep inside me now x3
January 2019

Weebs

UwU

Thanks to HTC™ I am able to watch this stream on the go

twitchquotes: Thanks to HTC™ I am able to watch this stream on the go. You can even use it to purchase g2a™ swag online. I never go anywhere without my HTC™. Lifetime Uh Oh™ warranty included.
twitch chat
May 2015
WildTurtle

sellout

Kripp, this is your psychiatrist

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘsʏᴄʜɪᴀᴛʀɪsᴛ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴇʟᴀʙᴏʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ 40 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴀɢᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛɪᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴠᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ʜᴀғᴜ. sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴏɴ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing