[Copypasta] Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Priced in

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
December 2020

Classic

WallStreetBets

Kill cummand face, huntard hardest deck in the game

twitchquotes: ๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ™๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ…๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ•๏ฝ‡๏ฝˆ๏ฝ”๏ผŽ ๏ผ‡๏ฝ„๏ฝ ๏ฝ‰ ๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ๏ฝ–๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ—๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ฝ…๏ฝ„ ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ‡ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„ ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ๏ฝ— ๏ฝ๏ฝ’ ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ผŸ๏ผ‡๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ…๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ“๏ฝ๏ฝŒ๏ฝ๏ฝ™ ๏ฝ‚๏ฝ•๏ฝ” ๏ฝ‰๏ฝ” ๏ฝ„๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝŽ๏ผ‡๏ฝ” ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ”๏ฝ”๏ฝ…๏ฝ’๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‹๏ฝ‰๏ฝŒ๏ฝŒ ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ•๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝŽ๏ฝ„๏ฝ“ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ†๏ฝ๏ฝƒ๏ฝ…๏ผŽ ๏ฝˆ๏ฝ๏ฝ’๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝ“๏ฝ” ๏ฝ„๏ฝ…๏ฝƒ๏ฝ‹ ๏ฝ‰๏ฝŽ ๏ฝ”๏ฝˆ๏ฝ… ๏ฝ‡๏ฝ๏ฝ๏ฝ…๏ผŽ
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

BionicBunion

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–„ โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–‘โ–“ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€
November 2014
patashu

SYMMETRA ACTIVATED

twitchquotes: Jebaited BASTION OVERRATED Jebaited TORB OUTDATED Jebaited LONG HAVE WE WAITED Jebaited SYMMETRA ACTIVATED Jebaited
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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