twitchquotes:
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
twitch chat
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Incorrect Dongerhood, Sir
twitchquotes:
ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½ YOU ARRIVED IN THE INCORRECT DONGERHOOD, SIRΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ΰΌΌ ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½ΰ² ΩΝΰ²°ΰ³ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
Kripp suffers from Casualitis
twitchquotes:
Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
Kripp
What makes me a good Demoman? Meet the Demoman
What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell!
Team Fortress 2
Minecraft creeper
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββ
Infinite Cum Part 2
Your eyes slowly open. Crusty from months of wear from stray globs of semen and cosmic dust. You are in a room and you can no longer see your member, or rather, what was left of it. There are tubes leading away from your pelvis, pumping and pulsating. There is a glass window across from you and a person dressed in a white jacket. A woman. She looks up from her clipboard to see you are awake. At first she is uninterested, but then her eyes slam open and a beaming smile crosses her face. Her eyes filled with curiosity.
βYouβre awake!β She cries over the loudspeakers that you only just now notice embedded into the top corners of the room.
βWhere am I?β You ask, filled with fear and excitement. You thought you would never see a human again and you would be destined to suffer endlessly across the cosmos.
βYou are on Saturn. You crashed into it and due to itβs extreme mass you were able to stop. We picked you up because you may be the key to saving humanity for all eternity.β
βHow?β You ask as a smile begins to creep across your face, imagining that you could be an icon for humanity.
βYou have been addressed as the Cosmic Unknown Mass Semen Generator, or CUMS-G for short. The fault in reality that caused your affliction can be used for the good of humanity.
By using the mass you produce we will never have to worry about energy again, as by converting your biomass into energy we have unlimited power for the rest of time. When the stars die and the cosmos sink into nothing, humanity will be able to continue thanks to you. The anomaly that created you is easily one of the greatest discoveries humanity has ever had, on par with the discovery of fire.β
βWill I not die?β
βYou canβt die. You are immortal. You donβt even have a body and yet you continue to existβ
β¦
Hours later, she leaves to tell her superiors. They do not greet you. They exchange high-fives and party but they do not speak to you.
Months pass.
The cum accelerates.
Then years.
The cum accelerates.
Then decades.
The cum accelerates.
Then centuries.
The cum accelerates.
Then eons.
The cum accelerates.
No one talks to you. You donβt even know if humanity is alive anymore or if they have left you to exist for the rest of eternity.
The tubes around you have gotten far thicker and more high tech as the ferocity of your semen expulsion increased.
Eventually the walls around you cave in. Only then do you see the truth.
Their plan was flawed.