[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell

Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.
March 2021

Fortnite default dance 5

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣶⣶⠶⠛⠉⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠛⣿⣤⣤⣀⣤⠿⠉⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣶⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⠿⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠉⠀
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Type :) if you have crippling depression

twitchquotes: type :) if you have Crippling Depression :)
twitch chat
September 2018

ＦＡＫＥＲ ＲＩＧＨＴ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＰＵＳＳＹ

twitchquotes: ＦＡＫＥＲ ＲＩＧＨＴ ＩＮ ＴＨＥ ＰＵＳＳＹ
twitch chat
August 2014
ognglobal

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

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