[Copypasta] I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

I hate esam and want to suplex him

twitchquotes: Esam put Ken as a low tier. Listen you bald normie, just because he takes brain power to play efficiently unlike your Braindead main Pikachu doesn't mean he's bad. I actually hate esam and I want to suplex him.
twitch chat
April 2019
pgESAM

Super Smash Bros

Anime girl surprised

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⣟⣛⣉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠋⠀⠁⠐⠂⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⠾⢯⣤⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢾⣿⠟⢉⡉⠉⢹⣟⢿⣷⣦⢢⠘⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠸⠁⢰⣿⣷⣶⣤⣿⣷⠙⢿⡃⠀⠛⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⠿⣿⣟⣻⡿⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠟⣿⠇⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣭⣕⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⠻⢿⣦⡀⠹⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣷⣄⠀⣦⡻⣷⡀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣦⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣧⠄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣏⡿⠃⣼⡿⠤⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠛⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Weebs

Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Kripp, on behalf of the entire Greek country, I would like to thank you for single handedly restoring our economy with your endless supplies of salt. Salt mines are now Greece's #1 export. Most excellent, all hail Kripperino!
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing