[Copypasta] Avoid embarrasing incidents

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. :)
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Now Playing: Despacito

twitchquotes: ɴᴏᴑ α΄˜ΚŸα΄€ΚΙͺΙ΄Ι’: Despacito ───────────────βšͺ─────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ β €β–Ίβ–Ίβ €β € β € 1:17 / 3:48 β € ───○ πŸ”Šβ € α΄΄α΄° βš™ ❐ ⊏⊐
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?

twitchquotes: What if I... put my Minecraft bed... 😳 next to yours... 😳 aha ha, just kidding.. πŸ˜‚ unless.. ? 😳
twitch chat
August 2019

Classic

Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ Ν  Ν Β°γ€œ ΝœΚ–γ€œ Ν  Ν Β° ΰΌ½οΎ‰Β€=[β€”β€”β€”β€” Hello. My name is Inigo Dongtoya. You killed my Kappa. Prepare to die.
twitch chat
March 2015

Classic

Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you

twitchquotes: Kripp if you're here right now reading this I want you to know I dream of you. Sometimes I sit alone in my bathroom with the light off and pretend to be you. I'll say things like "hey guys how's it goin' Kripparrian here", and for a brief moment I feel you inside me...
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing