[Copypasta] Avoid embarrasing incidents

twitchquotes: Hey chat, take it easy please. Sometimes I see the same message posted twice. Take your time to actually read chat to avoid embarrassing incidents like this. Thank you. :)
twitch chat
December 2018

Classic

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More Classic Copypastas

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

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I sexually Identify as

Kog'Maw's passive

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie. I noticed that in your games you utilize Kogโ€™Maws passive A LOT, but when I watch LCS players I see them go an ENTIRE teamfight without using their passive even ONCE. Are they playing the champion to its full potential or are you?
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

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League of Legends

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

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That's the wrong VoHiYo

twitchquotes: VoHiYo THATS VoHiYo THE VoHiYo WRONG VoHiYo HOLE VoHiYo ONII-CHAN VoHiYo KYAAAAH VoHiYo
twitch chat
March 2016

Weebs

Classic

American website, American computers, American game

twitchquotes: Europoors hating on USA โœ“ on a American website โœ“ with American computers โœ“ on the American invented Internet โœ“ watching an American made game โœ“ From a country that was liberated and protected by America โœ“โœ“โœ“
twitch chat
June 2016

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EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing