twitchquotes:
πͺ π BAN πͺ π ONE πͺ π FLEX πͺ π GET πͺ π THE πͺ π WHOLE πͺ π GYM
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I used to be a real ad
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Albert Einstein and Arteezy's farm
twitchquotes:
Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds to ever live, was once perplexed by the speed at which Arteezy was able to farm. Seemingly impossible GPMs of 800+ every game were consistently observed, leading to the hypothesis that this was no fluke. Einstein spent the last years of his life trying to prove the ability of Arteezy's farm existed within the laws of science. Critics laughed at his efforts, claiming that Arteezy's farm was an undeniable act of divine intervention. It wasn't until the end when Einstein found the answer. On his deathbed, Einstein spent the last seconds of his life jotting down what is now the world's most infamous scientific formula. r=tzΒ²
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Arteezy
I challenge you to βTurtle Kingβ
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to βTurtle Kingβ instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the βdockβ is crowned Turtle π€΄.
Dual me, Iβm 4-0.
WallStreetBets
you are not old, mate
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. Iβm a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but Iβm not sure what to say in interviews now if Iβm asked why I left this job. Any advice?
Biden at a CNN townhall with Don Lemon
Biden: Yo- uh, y-you, y-you got the vaccination?
Don Lemon: Yeah.
Biden: A-Are you... Are you okay? I mean, you seem... no, it works, or you, you know, or, or, or, or the mom and dad, or or, or, or, or the neighbor, or when you... go to church, or when youβre β n-no, I-I-I-I really mean it, there... are trusted interlocutors. Think of the people, if-if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were β thereβs a man on the moon, or, or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not. You know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?