[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did 👏 You 👈 Know? 💭 98% of 💦 memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even 🌃 remotely funny, 😄 but 🍑 rather 👉 an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Cattarrian warns Pupparrian

twitchquotes: "Welcome to your new home,” says the Kripp as he carries the Pupparrian in his bony arms. The puppy leaps from his uncomfortable position onto the ground and begins to run around. Soon, he grows tired and goes to bed. That night, a ghostly cat visits the Pupparrian in his sleep. “Flee,” warns the Cattarrian, “The Kripp plans on eating you, as he once ate me.”
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020

DrDisRespect

⠄⠄⠈⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣀⣀⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⡄⢴⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢀⡈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⢠⣿⡸⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠴⠶⠯⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠄⣿⣷⣽⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠿⠿⠟⠉⠄⠄⢀⠎ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢐⣶⡄⠄⢊⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠟⠛⠛⠃⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⡮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠲⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣶⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018
DrDisRespectLIVE

Purpose of Twitch chat

twitchquotes: What is the purpose of twitch if not to let those with introversion let out their wierdest inner thoughts in writing through random emotes to an awkward king like forsen. Please no cheese in my pizza. Fettuccini Alfredo
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing