[Copypasta] 98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did πŸ‘ You πŸ‘ˆ Know? πŸ’­ 98% of πŸ’¦ memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even πŸŒƒ remotely funny, πŸ˜„ but πŸ‘ rather πŸ‘‰ an πŸ‘Ή indication of πŸ’¦ the πŸ‘ low πŸ“‰ intelligence, absence of πŸ’¦ empathy, and πŸ‘ devolution of πŸ’¦ modern πŸ–₯ man. πŸ‘¨
twitch chat
July 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021

Gotta hit up the bathroom V2

twitchquotes: "Give me a second guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom". He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a blank stare. As Dex yips, Kripp stands up out of his chair, saying "This game is ok." at a medium volume. Rania continues streaming, and Kripp walks past her on the way to the bathroom. After taking a few breaths, Kripp walks back to his desk, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
October 2018
Kripp

Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo

twitchquotes: Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo. My Skills Are Getting Stronker And I Wish To Join Team "TMS". My Land Has Endured Many Harsh Winters And My Cow Died Last Fall. I Am How You Say, "Hard In A Place," And Am Looking to One Day Be Best At Heartstone For My Mother Says I Have The Heart Of The Carderinos.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound

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July 2022

Faceful Void

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘ β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘ β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–‘β–β–Œβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–Œβ–‘ β–β–Œβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–β–€ β–‘β–β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
June 2015

Dota 2

Text-to-Speech Playing